Ever since the parent meeting regarding subject selection for grade 11 and 12, I have been asking Yaya, “what are you planning to do?” and each time I received the same reply ” Mom, I don’t want to think about it”. For which I tried to reply once ” But you have to make a decision, it is a mandatory requirement” and she came after me like a banshee and told me off by saying “Mom, I am not stupid, I know I have to make a decision, but I don’t want to do it now, so leave me alone”
I know she is stressed. This decision she has to make will affect her future. It is too much to ask a 15 year old to choose the subjects only based on following her heart. Sometimes you have to study subjects you don’t like if it meant that you can get a degree in a field you want to study. ( I hate statistics, but it was a mandatory requirement for my master’s degree)
Yaya is also like me.. do everything in the very last minute..so how can I get angry with her?
I had some pending work that needed to be completed last night. I only got home at 9.30 pm after basketball game. Dinner was in the slow cooker and I told the kids to serve themselves and sat down to do my work. 5 minutes later, with a bowl of hot steaming pumpkin risotto in her hand, my oldest child walked in to my room. “Mom, the teacher told me today that I have to hand in my subject selection tomorrow morning”
“And?” I asked knowing very well where we are heading.
“What subjects I should take?”
What I wanted to say was : How should I know, have I not asked you the past 2 weeks and have you not yelled at me? Now can’t you see that I am busy and haven’t even had time to eat my dinner? I have to get this work done today, so do whatever you want, I don’t give a damn” Honestly, I said all that in my head and counted to 100, so I won’t scream at her.
Because I didn’t say anything, she thought I was ignoring her and said ” You could help me you know, that is what parents are for” I took a deep breath and forced myself to smile. “What help you need?” I asked with a 70mm smile.
“Should I take Physics or Biology?”
I know she hates science, besides, physics is all about doing problems and biology is all about memorising. So I told her “Both are easy, but the only thing is, you will have to spend time practicing problem solving in Physics, whereas Biology is pretty straight forward.. there is no trick questions involved.”
“But what if I want to do sound engineering? Physics is a mandatory subject for sound engineering”
Chances that Yaya will do sound engineering is pretty slim. So I told her, “if you are really keen to do sound engineering, you can always do 6 months physics course at TAFE and upgrade after grade 12. As it is, you finish grade 12 in October and can only join US Universities the next September, so you have enough time to upgrade.”
We, the two blind mice spend the rest of the evening trying to figure out what Yaya should do. So far, She has decided to do English, Spanish and History as her IB higher level, maths, visual arts and Biology as standard level subjects.
Now, I am scared. Have I helped her to chose the right subjects or have I screwed it all up.. I know time will tell..I only hope that I didn’t screw up my child’s future.
As you aptly put to her.. there is time to upgrade.
Don’t worry.. she will be fine!!
MS: I hope so.. ( to be honest, I am scared!!)
College in US (at least I can say with certinity) can be changed in any direction, even after 2-3 years into bachelors. Like India, you donot have to decide on subjects in high school or even when you enter bachelors. You can always take any course later, if it is a requirment to get into a particular degree program. Many of my friends who were engineers from India, did Journalism, MBA, Art degrees, and vice versa. Even people with biology backgrounds have done computer engineering. I am so happy, it is this way here. Decieding your future direction in High School is too early, when one has no clue about the future.
Joan: Yaya is hoping to join the Ivy League colleges. Because she doesn’t know what she wants to study, and the fact that I can’t financially support her forever, she needs to get this right the first time. That is what scares her the most.
I think its still okay Sarah. I have professors who did Philosophy/Languages as undergrad from Ivy Leagues and proceeded to become a lawyer or a doc. As long as she gets the pre reqs done for her preferred career path, she should be okay..
But yeah, this is a terrifying decision…
Jina: 🙂
See education is so flexible ( and expensive) that you can do your bachelors in Communications and then get your pre-reqs done, write MCAT and get into Medical school..
or be and engineer and work in finance, or do whatever one wants. It is time and money, but it is not the end of the world, if you do not get your subjects right the first time.. So no worries..
I do not know any parent in the US who is paying for their masters.. many are even funding their own bachelors program.
MS: The only gift I as a mother can give my children is a good education..Having an Indian degree, I faced work place discrimination just because w I studied in India. I wanted to give my children an opportunity that I didn’t get. However, I can only support them for their bachelor’s degree and although education system in US is extremely flexible, I don’t have that much money, not to forget they are 22 months apart and when Yaya is in final year, I will be paying full time UNi fees for all three of them.. So I am hoping my children will get “right first time”
That sounds like a pretty solid mix. I did my 11th and 12th from a small town in Kerala. What I studies then have nothing to do with what I am doing now. But I am so glad I have a foundation in math and sciences through my post secondary education. I did economics, psychology and sociology for my undergrad specialization and needed the math for economics and biology for psych. Now that Im doing my PhD in behavior sciences, I use statistics a lot and thank my stars that I didnt have to struggle too much to master it. I think regardless of what they want to do in the future, every kid should do math and at least one of the basic sciences before their undergrad. It does help them in any field they choose. And languages–ofcourse languages..I totally regret not learning French or Spanish in school.:(
Whatever she choses to do, good luck to Yaya..
Jina: Yaya didn’t want to do history and I felt, she will never learn history later on in her life and though it is such a boring subject, you need to learn..There is no better teacher in life that history. I agree with you that every child should learn maths and at least one science. Yaya is lucky that she was in Spanish Immersion.