Not alone

I love to read agony aunt columns. I find it a good way to evaluate where I stand in the grand scheme of things. In other words reading other people’s struggles is a way for me to tap on my shoulder and say “there, there, you are not the only one who is going through this” It helps me cope.

But until now, there was one thing I never found anyone writing about/asking advice. Last weekend , I found this in Courier mail.

older sister

My sisters are beautiful, rich. successful and well known in their fields of work. I remember going for shopping with my younger sisters to Suria KLCC. It was a few months after I gave birth to my son and I had already quit my job.  My sisters are a head taller than me and I was the size of the mini elephant after I gave birth. It was not just my roly poly stature that bothered me, As we walked in to MNG shop, with me pushing Yaya in her pram and my sister younger to me carrying my son, in the eyes of the shop attendants, I didn’t exist. They exclaimed “how cute” the baby is ( the one my sister is holding, which happens to be mine) and I was relegated to obscurity. I think, they assumed I was the maid.

And then the horror of all horror thing happened. My youngest sister asked me, “Chech, do you want to buy anything?”

I looked at the price tag and noticed that it was just a few cents short of the cost for a full tank petrol. Three tshirts = petrol for a trip to penang and back. That was not all. The shop attendants looked aghast, that a frumpy old woman like me wants to wear MNG and I felt like the fox in the Aesop’s fable, staring at this beautiful top  ( grapes) that was too small for me and I shook my head and said “No”.. My sisters bought clothes from that shop and paid the equivalent sum of my monthly mortgage that day. Before I had kids, I did wear designer outfits, once I had my children, my priorities changed, but it still bothered me..that I am such a loser.. I felt my sisters planned their life well, they knew what they wanted and got it.

My youngest sister’s 21st birthday was spend sky diving at Victoria falls..her birthday gift from her boy friend. My 21st birthday was spend trying to pass final MBBS exam without failing. I had internals that week and didn’t even think of celebrating my birthday.

Sometimes, I find life is very unfair and I am a colossal failure..

But then I think..”there there, you are not alone”

2 thoughts on “Not alone

  1. People are different, so are their priorities. As long as you are happy in your life, that’s all matters.

    Are you in touch with your sisters??

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