My cousin once told me about an incident that happened 45 years ago and how he can never forgive his father. His dad was to pick him up after choir practice, which he forgot. My cousin waited and waited for his father to come and pick him up. His father waited for him at home and was getting angrier by the minute when his son didn’t return home on time. ( I am sure, he must have panicked too) Eventually he remembered that he was supposed to pick his son up from the church and instead of apologizing, he slapped his 15 year old son in front of the whole congregation who were in the church for the evening Qurbana. According to the father, the son should have used his common sense and taken the bus home instead of waiting. My cousin is 60. His father is in his mid 80’s. Father obviously misses his son and wants to have some sort of relationship with his only son. But the son won’t.

Yesterday was a really tough day for me. I was running late and had so many errands to.

When I picked Yaya up, she asked “mom, can we please go to the library, I have no more books to read” I needed to get back home, cook dinner and also drop my son for his badminton. I felt sorry for Yaya and decided to quickly go to the mall where the library is and thought I will pick up something as a mother’s day gift for my neighbour. I told Yaya, I will meet her at the library. I have been in Australia for more than 3 years and I still haven’t gotten used to the shops closing at 6 pm. By the time I walked in to the shops, they were already closing and I cursed and swore at my decision to live here! Then I thought, Yaya might be hungry and I will buy her something to eat from the food court and I called her mobile wanting to know what she would like to eat..She wasn’t picking up. I send a text, no reply. I tried again and again. There was no response. Ideally, there should be a rational explanation..but Yaya and her phone are inseparable and she keeps her libary card inside the phone case. Panic was beginning to rise in my belly. I ran back to the library..only to find that library too closes at 6. I knocked at the glass door till one of the library staff opened the door and She said, they have already checked the library before closing, there is no one but the staff inside the library. I could see Daniel Morcombe event happening right in front of my own eyes..I felt so sick that I thought I was going to vomit. Where was I going to find my child in a 4 storey mall with most of the shops already closed? I ran back to the car park to see if she is waiting for me there..in between I called her mobile a million times. Still no answer. I went back to mall and I saw my daughter coming up the elevator.

I understood the panic my mother felt, when I didn’t return home on time after my french lesson. I missed the usual bus, because the driver didn’t stop and had to wait an hour to get the next one. It was time before mobile phones and I couldn’t let my mother know what was happening.

In my mother’s case, when she saw me alighting from the bus,she slapped me in front of all those people ( some were parents of my classmates) who were waiting for the bus asking me “evidarunnedi nee ethrem neram?” ( where were you until now?)

I wanted to bite Yaya’s head off. I was that mad, more so because it was she who asked me ” where were you?” She forgot to take her phone and the library card from the car, so she was walking around the mall looking for me ! We both glared at each other. But I didn’t hit her.I didn’t see the need for it.

Writing about the past doesn’t help me.. I know that. but I do know that, I have the power to change my children’s life.. I don’t have to be like my cousin’s father or like my mother. I can make a difference.