For want of a better name, that is me !

Please note, views expressed here are my own and I am not interested in starting a religious war.

It all started last Friday evening. I was cooking dinner and my son was sitting at the dining table and doing his homework. I want to keep the communications lines open between my kids and I and make it a point to talk to them all the time and since he was already in the kitchen, I asked him

“So, what is the best part of  going to high school?”

without any hesitation he replied “girls”

“found any interesting girls?” I asked

“A few, there is this Islam girl”

Before he could say anything further, I interrupted him and told him, there is no Islam girl, Islam is the religion and the follower is called a ‘Muslim’ and much to my own dismay, I said this ” I will not allow you to date a Muslim girl”

That one sentence was the opposite of everything I believed in and the way I raised my children. I have never told my children up until now that “I will not let them do something”, because I believe in teaching them what is right/wrong instead of being a dictator and herding them the way I want them to go.

I learned Arabic, so I could learn Qur’an in the original form. Much to the chagrin of some of the Malaysian religious leaders, I being a non Muslim could argue using the surah’s from the Qur’an I have done a full Ramadan fasting( It felt odd to eat in front of friends who were fasting and I thought I might as well join them). My best friend is a Muslim. I have nothing against Islam as a faith..

Someone I know is married to a Muslim girl and he wasn’t allowed by his wife’s family to attend his mother’s funeral at a church. And the thought of my bacon loving, free spirited child being dictated by a religious edict is something I can’t cope with. No doubt, my son is the master of his own destiny and I hold no control..and in hindsight I wish I didn’t tell him like that and should have told him ” I would be unhappy if you are forced to be something that you are not because you love someone”  That again is wrong because I am still trying to enforce my value systems on my child..Just because I gave birth to him and raised him doesn’t give me the right to tell my child how he should live his life..

Right now, I feel so angry at myself because I am so bloody confused..Is it too much to wish that my family will not be divided because of religion..Would I be wrong to protect the interests of all 4 of us?