Shut up

Few weeks ago, kids and I went to our local farmer’s market. Before we left, my youngest declared the day to be ” I am a jolly good rancher and I lost all my wonderful marbles”.. It is a very silly game..The idea is, you have to say ” I am a jolly good rancher and I lost all my wonderful marbles” to any question anyone ( 4 of us) ask.
So if Yaya asks ” mom where is my phone?”
I have to reply “I am a jolly good rancher and I lost all my wonderful marbles”
You lose when you forgot your dialogue and actually said the proper answer. Silly sentences change  “I am crazy”, “panties” etc.. ( mom what is that in your hand ? and I am holding my iphone and replied ” panties”.. You should have seen the look on the faces of strangers!!)

Anyway, we went to our local pet supplies shop. The owner is a very good friend and I was talking to him while my kids were looking at the fish.
My youngest came and asked
“Mom, can we buy an axolotl ( Mexican walking fish)?”
And I replied ” I am a jolly good rancher and I lost all my wonderful marbles”
She was ticked off..
“mom, the game is over..Can we please get an axolotl?” She tried again.
and received the reply..”I am a ,,,”
“shut up mom” She said, clearly annoyed with me
My friend  who was listening to the whole conversation said to her ” baby, if I said shut up to my mom, She would have whooped my butt”

That got me thinking.. Is there something wrong with saying “shut up” to a parent?

I was the guilty party here.. I annoyed my child.. Is she supposed to walk away without reacting because I am her mother and I must be respected at all times?

Years ago, on my first day as a Master’s student in England, when the professor walked in to the class, I stood up, just as I did all those years growing up in India.  The entire class of students plus the professor were staring at me trying to figure out why in the world I was standing up in the middle of the class like a bean pole.
It was shocking to know that in England,  you don’t show respect to your teachers by standing up. Even more shocking was when the same professor invited the whole class for a drink at the local pub.. In India, I used to run with my life if anyone from my medical college entered anywhere near the pub I was in.. for if anyone saw me, I would have faced disciplinary actions.

While the Indian professors demanded respect by making you stand up when they entered the class and then continued this charade of respect by going to the pub to see if any of the students are drinking and then persecute them by deliberately failing them in the internal exams/viva, the British professors did what they were supposed to do. They taught.

My mother would have skinned me alive if I told her to shut up.

So, back to my child. why should I punish my child for saying “shut up” Is it because saying shut up is considered disrespectful? Why should she respect me when I was really annoying her?
Respect is surely earned..
I didn’t punish my child..for I don’t think saying shut up to me when I was clearly wrong was a crime.

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