A  bit of back ground..Every alternate week, the school where my children used to attend in Canada had a popcorn day..50 cents for a packet of popcorn..something every kid could afford and the school could raise funds for the much needed play ground equipments. All three of my kids missed the popcorn day when we came to Australia, especially my son who loved the Dill pickle flavour popcorn.

So every now and then my kids talk about popcorn..and how much they miss Canada..

And recently my son was talking to Yaya and I heard him say “Jake ( not his real name) watches a lot of popcorn”
I thought I heard it wrong..You eat popcorn..not watch..
But something about that conversation wasn’t right..and I asked him..
“What do you mean”
and he replied ” oh mom, you don’t need to know that.. it really is gross”
There are two things that gets my maternal antenna up and running in full steam..the word gross and when my kids tell me ‘you don’t need to know’
I looked at Yaya..and she replied.”mom, swap the first letters of both words ” I did and I got “Copporn”
It really made no sense..befuddled, bewildered, confused are the few words that could describe my feelings..
Yaya helped out again
“mom ignore the first word”
and I did..
Bloody hell, I thought.
My son is 12..a lot of his classmates are already 13..I know this is the age where they are curious and learn a lot from their friends..and I know the last person my son would want to talk about sex would be me..
Ideally, I would like to tell my son that, watching porn is not good for him..and what is portrayed as real in porn isn’t what it is..I would also like to stop him from trying to watch porn..
Half the kids in his class have smart phones..The school computers have all sorts of software to prevent kids from accessing inappropriate sites.. Yet the kids know the ways and means to bypass the system.
I have the latest anti virus software that gives me a great deal of control over what sites can my kids access..I can even check their browsing history..

One of my junior in the medical college tried to commit suicide..by drinking a bottle of ink..the only thing he could find at 3AM..the reason…he waited for his parents to sleep..and once everyone was asleep, he crept in to the living room, switched on the TV..and watched a porn video ..his father caught him, screamed at him and hit him.. In humiliation he tried to kill himself..

Years ago, when I was in my late teens, A friend of mine said his father subscribed playboy magazine for him when he was 14..and I was really scandalized..How can a father do that?

back to my trouble of the day.. I am in a position called “damned if I did and damned if I didn’t”
I think all boys will watch porn at some stage in their life.. I think 12 is too early.. I think porn never depicts reality.. I think I should stop my child from watching porn..
Then I send him to school ..and he could do whatever he wants to..watch..read..

I wish life was simple..and mothering was easy and there were clear set of guidelines..