I know what your daughter is doing….

I know this is a public blog and when I take a swing at someone, I am doing so with the knowledge that when I point my finger at someone, three fingers point back to me.

But this need to be written..

As I mentioned in the post title, I know what your daughter is doing..

You came to Australia because you met all the criteria for an immigrant visa, so you are well educated, well read and the Australian govt considers you to be a valuable asset to the society and granted you a PR.
You made the decision to migrate because you wanted a better life for you and for your children.
You made the choice to raise your children in Australia..
Your children attend Aussie school and you want them to remember always that they are Indians and must act like Indians, for the Indian culture goes back many centuries!..
You want your daughter to be a traditional Indian girl..And you have been living under the impression that you are doing a fantastic job raising a traditional Indian daughter that too while living in Australia.. who wears decent ( ie proper grandma jeans and  not skinny jeans, certainly no shorts and absolutely no short skirts!) outfits, is  quiet and a studious child.
Now don’t get me wrong..There is nothing wrong in being an Indian..

But these are the things you don’t know about  your 14 year old daughter.
She is sexually very active.
She leaves home wearing decent pants..and the reason she prefers to come to school very early is not because she wants to do group studies, it is to change her clothes from jeans to really really small skirt that just meets the school guidelines.
And few weeks ago, you gave her permission to attend the drama practice at her friends house..all day..Your daughter wasn’t part of the drama team and her friends were covering up for her, because she wanted to spend a whole day with her boyfriend and all her friends know what a nasty mean mother you are and would do anything for their friend.. even lie..

You know what is reall disturbing?? All your daughter’s friends talk about you to their parents..and when they meet you at school and when you start extolling the virtues of your daughter..they are snickering behind your back.. because everyone knows that  you are living in denial and that you are the only one in your daughter’s life who doesn’t know a thing about her…and the worst is, you are making a liar out of your daughter..( it takes a lof out of your child to lead the double life she is leading now and you are forcing her to do it.)

As a mother, you have the responsibility and the duty to help shape your daughter’s life in a positive manner..You have the privilege to be that person who can shape her world..You are supposed to be her friend instead she considers you to be her worst enemy..

Was it worth it?

2 thoughts on “I know what your daughter is doing….

  1. I have noticed that when it comes to some Indian kids, everyone else knows what they are up to except their parents. What is unfortunate is that these parents think it is OK to be judgmental and critical about other kids'/people's lifestyle, not knowing that their own had started sowing their wild oats at the age of 15.

    I have also seen Indian parents with small children being extremely critical of somebody else's teenagers and young adults; not realizing that their kids will most likely to do the same when they reach that age.

  2. Anitha : :not my kids” is the manthra followed by Indian parents living outside India..They are on a mission to raise culturally appropriate kids and live in eternal denial, while their children do everything the parents think they aren't doing!

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