Chores..

Rightfully, being the mother of four daughters my mother shouldn’t have to do much work at home. But that wasn’t the case. None of us ever did any work. My mother did everything.
She felt the chores were hers..hers alone..and allowed us a  childhood without chores. ( she also felt, we would be doing all the work when we are married and have a family of our own and therefor it is only fair that we be spared from doing chores at home!)

A very dear friend in his late 50’s still talk about how miserable his childhood was. His mother made him mop the whole  house everyday after he came back from school, only then he was allowed to go out and play with his friends.

My children’s grandmother often talked about the polished floors ! Every Sunday, she had to manually polish the wooden floors of the house, just so that everyone will say “oh how shiny the floors are!” and no one thought of  all the lost Sundays the child incurred ! She never had polished floors in her own house ! She told me, life is too short to polish floors every Sunday.

When I had my own family, I did have this image of a house like “little women” where everyone shared the chores.  Yaya was 22 months old when I gave birth to my son and every time  before I took my son to the washroom for his bath, she would bring her little stepping stool to my bedroom, climb on the bed, lay the towel neatly on my bed, then she would get off, get the powder and keep it next to the towel. I never taught her. I never asked her. But the joy of seeing her doing it..nothing can beat that. ( She couldn’t read the clock, but I guess she knew the needle position as I have always been pedantic with my routine!)

As I said before, I was hoping for a house like the “little women” But my children tell me that “You are the mother, it is your duty to cook, feed and clean”
And it is true, isn’t it?
I don’t believe that doing chores at home is character building or it is about teaching kids how to manage their own homes in the future. ( If that is true, then I would be a lousy cook and a terrible homemaker!)
On weekends while I juggle doing  the laundry, cleaning the house and cooking, all three of my children lay down in my bed and read.
Once when I asked Yaya to do something, she told me, “mom, I get up at 5 everyday and take 2 buses to my school and in the evenings I have tons of home work. I only get my weekends to chill out and it isn’t fair that you ask me to do chores when I have some free time.” ( and yes, I did try  ‘what about me?’ once which got the reply, you are the mother, it is your duty and responsibility!)

Sometimes I do get annoyed, especially when I am cooking in a hurry and one of them  walk in to the kitchen casually and ask ” what is for lunch?” which usually gets the reply ” nintey ammentey thala” ( my head) and the child in question does the vanishing act  and without fail, I can hear the child going and telling the siblings ” I think mom has her periods” Often I am tempted to go after the child and scream and tell her/him that I am exhausted and they should get their lazy butt off my bed and come and help me. But then I think of my mother. If she could raise four daughters on her own, then there should be nothing that stops me from doing the same.

That being said, my children do vacuum their own room. One of them will always set the table before every meal. They make me coffee when I have migraine.

I think a house like little women only exists in books.

1 thought on “Chores..

  1. Have seen some criticism on Indian people here. I will add this … it is not the duty of a mother to do everything for a child. It is the duty of parents to care for their children.

    But parents should teach their children to do chores slowly depending on their age so that the parents are not left with the cleaning work. I wish my parents had done that. There is nothing wrong with cleaning ones room every couple of weeks, learn to do simple cooking, etc.

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