njarambu rogi..

Yesterday evening my child came home in full blown panic and this is what she told me.

“Mom, this dude came and sat next to me in the bus and was touching my legs ‘accidentally’ while moving his bag, then he asked me where I am from? I didn’t reply, then he actually put his hand on my lap to tell me that he is also an Indian and he likes me. I didn’t know what else to do, so I got up and walked to the front of the bus and the dude got off the bus. Mom, I am scared”

I was actually speechless for a while.
From the time I gave birth to her, I have been doing everything to make sure she wouldn’t have a childhood I had. I didn’t even trust anyone to take care of my baby. I took care of her myself. I child proofed my house, bought a car seat even though there was no such requirements to keep a child in a car seat in Malaysia. I walked with her to her school, even when I had full blown pneumonia. I taught her to be stranger aware. I taught her self defense.
The only thing I didn’t teach her was to be aware of Indian guys. Now before you all take up your arms in protest and tell me all Indian guys are not bad, read.
I have had my butt massaged, my breast squeezed, my hands grabbed in India by guys, all through my childhood and teenage years. ( not to forget the dude who stood by the corner and flashed his flaccid penis every morning when I walked to school and everyone as in the teachers, the parents etc knew about it and no one did a thing to stop it,)
The rubbing, touching and massaging  only stopped when my sister younger to me started to hit back, punch and scream at the guys and I learned not to suffer in silence, but to fight back,

I have never seen njarambu rogis outside India and never thought my child would go through this.

I asked Yaya how old the guy is and she thinks he is in his 20. My child doesn’t understand the way Indian guys behave and thinks that the dude is a pedophile. I didn’t change her perceptions.
She wanted my permission to cuss and give him her middle finger if he comes any where near her.. I had taught my children not to cuss and now I have given my permission to do just that.
And now I worry.
This guy wouldn’t have simply sat next to my child to say he likes her. He must have seen her before.
I know Yaya will fight back the next time he tried the same stunt. But I worry about acid attacks..
My child is only 14 years old. She has a right to live a life without being harassed.

and the irony of it all, yesterday i was writing about the Indian shop keepers..and today this.

6 thoughts on “njarambu rogi..

  1. Sarah, I am just so angry reading this. How dare that pervert touch a 14 year old child. Your daughter is right, he is a pedophile!

  2. Please ask your daughter to yell at the guy to get out of the seat and attract other
    peoples attention . Cussing and finger might not work if the guy sees that other people
    are not noticing . Indian njarambu rogis are usually afraid of other peoples attention
    and stop it . Please warn her about Indian guys as well, She is going to be living alone
    in a short while and needs to know how Indian guys behave .

  3. Hi! I'm a new reader.

    I feel terrible reading this. What a horrible experience to go through. I do hope she will be as courageous as you and your sister and not put up with any such nonsense. I remember the eve-teasing I went through (similar to yours); you are right, the only way is to stand your ground and not put up with this. Best of luck to your daughter and you!

    • Indian guy: I didn’t say not all Indian guys are perverts, however, your assumption that literate ones are not perverts is wrong. The guy would have had to have some sort of education before Australia granted him a visa.

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