This is the 5th attempt of writing since this evening.
I don’t ever spend hours thinking and writing.. Usually each blog post is type as I go.. including the spelling and gramatical mistakes that are so part of my blog. ( I could read what I type, but I don’t. Every word that I wrote came from my heart and why would I want to read it again?)
Two things I wanted to write..and both gets mangled in to a mess and I can’t seem to separate it..so perhaps this post makes only sense to me..I have this fear…
Ok, I can see your sheepish grin.. each time I told you I am Methran Thambi’s grand daughter and am not scared of anything..
The thing is..you live in me..with every breath that I take..
I feel I am responsible to keep your memory alive..and I worry that, I might forget something about you.. Yet, there are things about you, only I know. I wanted to keep that..in my little chest..

You know, No one knows about Kouros.. I never told anyone about it. I never bought it for anyone either.. It was your scent..
Each time I think of you.. I wonder if you knew your time on earth was short.. Was that why you were so different from everyone else? At that time the guys in our college were using Old spice and Brut..and you were using Kouros. I am sure even now a lot of people wouldn’t have heard of Kouros..but you were different..

I wore my grandfather’s name as an amulet..much to your surprise because you as a warrior had your own ‘real’ amuletwore something tangible as an amulet..

Each day..every moment..you live in me..

and that brings to the good news..
I won 10, 000 AUD in the lotto..I am not a serious gambler..
I have to tell you about a friend who taught me the secrets of Gambling..
He is a Sarawakian Foo Chow ( fuzhou). He did is Bachelor’s degree in Canada and came back to Malaysia to work. ( I never understood then why he came back, when he could have stayed in Canada as in those days getting a Canadian PR was very easy. I did understand this time when I went back home why he came back..Malaysia is always home..a part of you always want to go back home where ever you are)
He didn’t go back to Sarawak. His salary at that time was 1650..( I know because we earned the same amount) His mother is from Hong Kong and in the 90’s her net worth was 800 million dollars ( not ringgit), She is worth much more now!!! He didn’t want to work for his mother and didn’t want to take money from his family. He taught me that what your parents earned is theirs..and you have no right to even expect to get a share of your parent’s money because you are their child.
Once he asked me if I had money what is the first thing I would buy and I said a Louis Vuitton handbag.. and he laughed..he said I should be happy for my magnanimity ..for making the share holders of LV happy..(he effectively curtailed my spending habits because I started asking before purchasing anything expensive..who is going to be happy? me or the share holders?)And now,  the secret of gambling..Wong’s words of wisdom..

There is no such thing as secret.
There is no such thing as luck..
If you want to make millions..work for it..( don’t sit idle and expect the fortune to find you)
He taught me that Gambling is a game..You have ‘x’ amount of money. If you keep it in the bank you get 6 % interest. You can either leave it in the bank..or gamble..and see if you can get a better return for your money. If you are stupid, you gamble all the money in the bank..
I am not stupid. I keep aside a certain sum to buy lottery every year. I don’t have any secret number. I buy when I remember..If I make more than 6 %..I put the 6% back in the bank and spend the rest.and if I have spend all the money I kept aside and didn’t win anything, I accept defeat and wait for the next year..
How am I going to spend the 10K? 10% goes to charity..the rest..I always wanted a Koi pond..I am going to get one..( and I read yesterday that Koi’s are considered noxious fish in QLD and I will be fined 200,000$..Only WA and NSW allow kois..I am still evaluating the risks..is my happiness worth 200K??)
Time will tell.