No regrets..none..whatsoever

I remember the morning rounds..
Seeing you at the hospital as soon as the morning rounds started was a surprise..especially because, had the prof seen would have been in big were wearing your favourite Hawaiian shirt, shorts and sandals..not following the hospital dress code!! ( and obviously not planning to attend the clinics)
I remember the excitement of sneaking out.. ( and the logistics involved in getting a leave of absence)
The thing with you was… you never told  me in advance where we were going..
It was always impromptu.
That trip was to Madras..I can’t remember what train we took..It was one of those fast trains..
I can’t remember if we had anything to eat.. We would have had something to eat…and you must have had tea.. you loved drinking tea.
All I remember is laying down on your lap..and trying (pretending) so hard to read my book.. There were not many people in the train..and those that were, not very pleased to see us being together..and they kept giving us the ‘look’.
I should remember the book I was reading.. I don’t..
But I can still remember the smell of your cologne.. Kouros..
We reached Madras just as the sun was setting..
It was raining..( that wasn’t part of your plan)
But you didn’t come all the way to Madras to be defeated by the rain..
So we went..
to Marina beach..
We watched the rain..huddled underneath the statue of Vivekananda..soaked to the bone..
Till then.. for me.. rain was always something I listened to..
the dried leaves on the ground rustling and dancing in the wind..(announcing the impending rain)
wind whistling through the casuarina tree branches..
rain pitter pattering on the roof..
roll of thunder..
my grandmother frying dried tapioca chips..she always tapped the side of the wok with her spatula each time she stirred the chips in the hot oil….swish swish swish and a tap..

But sitting with you..that evening..I saw a different rain..

Your beautiful eyes sparkled..and you held me in your arms and  asked me to close my eyes and imagine the ocean before the storm..I imagined a postcard beach..clear blue palm trees ( may be coconut trees) white surf..and soft beach sand..foot prints..little kids..families..happiness..
Then I opened my eyes..
There were just the two of us..and the ocean was an angry monster..everything around me was painted gray..and yet my was filled to the brim..with the colours of the rainbow..

I still go to the beach when it rains..

2 thoughts on “No regrets..none..whatsoever

  1. that was beautiful… you stories are always so stirring…. and i'm really liking this part of your memoir… hoping to read more of it… keep writing !

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