Finding my Shangri-La

I have been forever searching for my Shangri-La, but there was something missing in each of the place I thought was my corner in this world. In my Shangri-La everything was supposed to be perfect and in harmony. The sensible one in me knew there never can be place where everything is perfect! But that didn’t meant that I was going to stop searching. I had to find it. I felt in my heart that if I searched long enough, hard enough I will find my corner, where I can be at peace with myself, where I can be just me.

I never understood, if it was the actual journey, or the final goal of ultimately finding my Shangri-la or was itsomething else that fuelled my search.

Like Odesseus I have been journeying slaying my own personal demons and one eyed monsters enroute.. I was the nobody..

“Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years,
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
she has nothing more to give you.

and if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become,with so much experience,
You must already have understood What Ithaca means”
constantine cavafy

I woke up this morning feeling famished.
I went downstairs and was greeted by two people who opened their heart and home to me and gave me more parental love in the last 3 weeks than I ever got in my 39 years.

Amma, she didn’t criticize me for the way I tied the saree..She was delighted to see me wear a saree, She even found safety pins for me..
She made idli and coconut chutney for me because I had mentioned that it is my favourite breakfast. She saved Sambar for me, just in case i wanted to eat something in the middle of the night!

Appa, He has a PhD in English lit and asked me to help him find a word he was searching for..even though he knew I studied in Malayalam medium..!! He didn’t assume that I wouldn’t know..
He also explained to me me things I didn’t see in the Coleridge’s Rime of the ancient Mariner..

From nobody to somebody..

I came here with a list of things to do..
Never thinking that I will finally find my Shangri-La..

Ee uthradam nalil, ningal ellarkkum entey Onam ashamsakal

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