All through my childhood her common manthra was “I don’t need any of you ( us daughters + her husband). I will get Govt of India pension when I retire!”
I was actually glad as a child because I knew I would never have to worry about my mother. After all she is eligible for the GOI Pension!
What was my mother thinking?
Where was she planning to live?
With whom was she planning to live?
she has 4 daughters and she should have known that it is not culturally accepted for mothers to stay with daughters.
She was born in to a well to do family, got married in to a well to do family, she has been working since the age of 20.
Yet, here she is, 74 years old, no home to go to and no one to look after her.
All her wordly possessions occupies one suitcase.
She still gets the pension, which is not enough to buy her medicines.
For all that she did to me, I want to send her to an old folks home, far far away, so I will never have to see her again.
But she is still my mother.
And I will still take care of her.
Right now I wish I could do it without feeling bitter.
That is the hardest part.
I can spend money and take care of her. But I can’t do it with love.
I do it because it is my duty.
I hate myself