One time when I was 12 or 13 years old, I remember sitting outside the house and waiting for my mother to return home. It was getting dark and the mosquitoes were having feast on my body. As I sat there, I imagined what would happen if anything happened to my mother. Who would take care of us? Where would we go? Would we have to go and live in an orphanage? The prospects of a life without my mother was bleak.
I remember feeling so angry with Amma for not coming back home on time. I just wanted a life without worries. I just wanted the surety that my mother is alive and we won’t be orphans.
Then I saw her opening the main gate, while holding a 5 kg brown paper bag in one hand and trying to juggle another plastic bag and her hand bag in the other hand. I could have got up and opened the gate for her. But I didn’t. I was just so angry with her for making me so worried.
Then Amma saw me sitting there and I was expecting to hear an earful of curses for not opening the gate. Instead I heard her telling me
“Nina get ready quickly, I want to show you something”
Then she called my sisters and asked them to get ready as well.
“Where are we going Amma?” I asked her
“Secret” She had a wicked grin on her face.
We begged, pleaded, begged some more as we started walking with her to the unknown. We passed the parade ground and I knew she was going to buy us peanuts from the seller in front of the collectorate. But she took a right turn. That road went to the railway station. Too late to buy naranga vellam( lime juice), may be she was going to buy us some narangamuttai (candies). When we reached the Logos Building Amma took a left turn. I knew where Amma was going. She was going to buy us Chicken from Trivandrum chicken corner. My mouth watered at the thought of eating the spicy chicken. But when we reached the shop, Amma continued to walk.
“Where are we going Amma?” I asked again
“Come, I will show you soon”
“Are you going to the park?” I didn’t want to go to the park down the 70 feet road. Not at this time of the day.
“Who will want to go to the park at this time Nina?” Amma answered
She took another left turn( I think the street was called G.S. Street ?Good Shepherd Street). We walked for another 5 minutes. There was no street light anywhere and the road was deserted. I was getting scared. But Amma kept walking.
The DC books shop or something like that was on the left side, there was an advocate’s house next to that. Then Amma took a right turn( there was a shoe shop there. But it was already closed for the day) and started to walk down a steep road.
ethu pathalathilano entey amma njangaley kondupovunnathu..( which hell are we heading to) I wondered. We walked all the way down the road, passing dimly lit houses and then I saw the most beautiful sight I ever I saw in my life.
Almost at the bottom of the road there was a house on the right side, fully lit with thousands of diyas.
We just stood there mesmerised.
There were lots of times I hated my mother, but there were also times, she did remarkable things that showed me that, some where beyond all those darkness there was light. Because my mother knew how much I loved to see the diyas lit on Deepavali.
I will be lighting the diyas this evening and like all the Deepavali before, I will tell my children about the walk with my mother that day.. How their grandmother made my day by such a simple gesture.

Dear Readers
May the light shines in your life always. Wishing you all a very happy Deepavali.
ps: I think that house belonged to Adoor Pathman brother of Adoor bhasi.

We have long weekend here, so will be away until Monday.
Take care
Sarah