Hostel was quiet when I came back. I knew everyone would have gone to attend the afternoon lectures. I looked around to see if Gangamma was around. I needed someone to lock the door from outside, so Princy or the warden won’t catch me for skipping the classes. Afternoon time is the most riskiest at the hostel. Morning time you can always say that clinics got over early, but there is no excuse for skipping afternoon lectures, not unless you are sick, but even that would require a letter from the MO.
“Gangamma” I called out.
There was no reply. ‘Where did she go?’ I wondered. She probably would have gone to get the left over rice from the mess operator. I wasn’t sure how long it would take for Gangamma to come back. As I walked towards my room, I figured, I should go and take my shower. There was no way Princy would inspect the ladies hostel bathroom! I touched my hair gently. My hair was growing long. It was the first time I had shoulder length hair. May be I should apply some oil on my hair. I wished I knew how to make the herb infused oil Ammachi makes. I missed Ammachi. I missed talking to her. I missed the smell of nilabrigandhi oil on her hair. I took the key from my pocket and was just about to open the lock, only then did I realize that the gold colour Godrej lock was missing. I took a step back and checked the door number. It was number 3 and my room number was 3. So I was at the right door.
Did my room mates forget to lock the room? How dare they? I had lots of expensive stuff in the room. My cassette tapes alone would cost a fortune. I will give Aparna and Shylaja a piece of my mind this evening. I promised myself.
I pushed the door to open. It was locked from inside.
Oh no! Did my sister come for a visit? Damn it. She would have known I skipped the morning rounds. I thought of all the possible lies I could tell as to where I went. I could tell her that I went to British Library. Then she would ask, where are the books from the library? May be I will tell her I didn’t get the book I was looking for.Then I remembered the tapes Beautiful Eyes had given me. Damn it, She would have found it! My heart started to pound. I knocked the door slowly. There was no response. I knocked again, a little more harder this time. The waiting felt like eternity, finally I heard footsteps coming closer and the sound of the latch being moved to open the door.
I was surprised to see Aparna in the room.
“You didn’t go to the class?” I asked her. Aparna was someone who attended class even when she had a fever, so I was a bit surprised to note that she skipped the afternoon lectures.
“No” She whispered and went back to lay down on her bed. That is when I realized, when she opened the door her eyes were red. I was expecting to see my oldest sister and in that confusion, Aparna’s red eyes didn’t register in my brain. But the way she whispered ‘No’ and the way she dragged her feet as she walked clearly said something was wrong, very wrong.
“Aparna” I called her name and walked towards her bed
She didn’t reply. when she noticed that I was walking towards her, she turned her head and used her hand to cover her eyes.
“Aparna, what happened?”
“Nothing Nina. Leave me alone, I have a headache” She replied
I sat down on her bed.
“Aparna, please talk to me”
“Nina, I told you I am fine, leave me alone”
“Then why were you crying?”
I don’t know what happened, all of a sudden she started to cry again. I wondered if I did something wrong?
“Aparna, what is it? Why are you crying?”
“He broke up with me”
“I don’t know Nina, I don’t know” Aparna started to howl. “What am I going to do now? What is the point of living? Why should I live? He was all I ever wanted. He is my life Nina, he is my everything”
“May be it is all a mistake”
“No Nina, he gave everything back. He returned all the cards I gave him, all the letters I wrote, everything”
“Why Aparna? What happened? Did you guys fight?”
“No, He said we are not compatible, that I would never be able to adjust to his lifestyle and religion. He said he wants to bring up his kids as Christians”
Religion? All this was because of religion? Bastard! Did he not know that she is a hindu when they started to date? How dare he tell her that she wouldn’t adjust to his religion? If there was anyone who worked hard to understand her lover’s religion, it was Aparna. She was even reading the bible. She attended all the prayer sessions with Anitha.
“What am I going to do Nina?” Aparna was looking at me. I held her hand and tried to think of what to tell her.
“Aparna, every time I was upset, my grandmother would tell me, ‘This too shall pass’.”
“No Nina, this won’t pass, there is no point in living. There is nothing to live for. He was everything that I ever wanted”
“No, Aparna, you are wrong. There is everything to live for. Few years from now, you will be a doctor, a real doctor, healing the sick. You are a very intelligent woman. Your whole life is ahead of you”
“No Nina, I can’t. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to study. I am done” She started to cry louder
“Shh Aparna. Don’t cry” I wiped the tears from her cheeks
“Nina, my heart feels so heavy, it is hurting Nina”
I wished I could take away her pain.
“Aparna,You need to sleep. You will feel better after a good sleep”
“I can’t Nina, I just can’t”
“Oh yes you can. I will tell you what, I will get some warm milk for you from the mess. You know warm milk will make you feel sleepy” I got up
Aparna held my hand
“Nina, don’t go. Please stay here with me”
“ok” I sat down on her bed.
As I watched Aparna desperately trying to catch the evading sleep, I realised how unpredictable life is. One moment you are in love and the next moment you are out. Nobody even gives you a warning and you don’t even get a second chance. Why? Why does life has to be so cruel? Why does only the fairy tales characters get to live Happily ever after? Why not us?
I had a good holiday… and I missed my blog and all of you each day.. every day.. it feels so good to be back
Can someone Please Help me??.. my daughter is chewing my brain.. this is her question
“Mama you told me,Water freezes at 0 degrees…what would be the temperature of water at -40 degrees? Would it be -40 or 0?”