First year internal exams were starting on monday the 19th and I spend all of saturday and the all morning sunday studying physiology and biochemistry.

By sunday evening, I started to study anatomy. I hated anatomy. I just couldn’t remember the origin and nerve, artery supply of each and every muscle. And we are not talking just one or two muscles!. Around 50 muscles in the upper arm alone! There are about 650 skeletal muscles in a human body!

As the clock needle moved forward, so did my frustrations. I had so much to revise and so little time.
Shylaja was studying with other Kannadiga students and Aparna was studying with the Tamilian students. By right, I should be studying with the Malayalee students, but they didn’t want to even talk to me. I was already a pariah.
It hurts very much when you see everyone having friends, that is everyone except you. Nobody wanted to be my friend. I was such a bad person. My sister had ensured that much!
I couldn’t do anything to change the situation I am in. Who would have believed me anyway?
Shylaja came to the room around 8.30pm.
“Guess what, Brachial plexus is going to be the main question tomorrow”
“Really? How did you know that?”
“Dr. Rajesh gave a hint this morning to Arjun and he told me”
“Are you sure?” I asked her
“Ofcourse, I am only studying that”
I was so glad to have such a good room mate. There was no need for Shylaja to come to my room and tell me the question. She is such a nice person. Most students would have just kept the information as a secret.
“Thank you so much Shylaja”
“That is ok” and she went back to her friend’s room. I took Chaurasia’s text book and started reading about brachial plexus
I knew If I wrote the main question well, then the chances for passing the exam is high. I only need 20 marks out of 50 to pass the test. Main question itself is for 20 marks.
I was so relieved. I sat and studied the entire brachial plexus till 3Am. I didn’t have time to read the rest of the anatomy, but I wasn’t worried at all. All I need is 20 marks!
In the morning, I got ready, revised the brachial plexus again and went to the exam hall. Everyone was doing last minute revision and I never liked to do last minute revision. Dr. Rajesh was standing near the door
“You look very confident, you must have revised well” He spoke
I smiled. I didn’t know how to tell him my thanks for giving us the clue. I felt I owe my success to him. May be I will tell him my thanks later, after the exam.
I walked inside the hall and sat at my usual place.
At 9am Dr. Rajesh handed the question paper. I watched everyone around me praying before reading the question paper. I knew what the first question is going to be and I was just about to draw the brachial plexus in my answer sheet, so I won’t forget the nerve connections, but then I felt, I should read the question paper and see how many short questions, I can answer. I took the question paper and read. I felt my eyes can’t read anymore. My vision was getting blurred. I rubbed my eyes and tried to read the question again.
1. Describe in detail the blood supply of mammary gland.
I turned and looked at Shylaja. She was already holding a blue and red sketch pen in her hand( to draw the artery and the veins)
‘Oh, my goodness, she cheated me. She lied to me, How stupid was I to trust her?’
I didn’t study anything about mammary gland. I looked at the question paper again. There was only one short question for 5 marks on brachial plexus.

I refused to cry, but I knew I am sinking. The marks from internal exams are send to Bangalore university and will be added to my final score. If I don’t do my internal exam well, then the chances of me failing the first year is extremely high. If I failed and repeated any subject during the 5 years of medicine, then I won’t be able to write most PG entrance exams.
I struggled so hard in my life, still I can’t win. Why is my life so difficult? This is the worst thaleyvara anyone could have!
I waited for the bell to ring and the moment it rang, I walked up to where Shylaja was sitting
“Why did you lie to me Shylaja? What have I done to you?”
“Oh No Nina, I didn’t lie, I was told that Brachial plexus will be the main question. Even I didn’t do the test well. I don’t think I will pass” She started to cry
When she told me that, she also won’t pass, I though may be she is telling the truth and I didn’t want to fight with her.
“Never mind, We will do the externals well. Don’t cry Shylaja. It is ok” I tried to console her.

I wrote Physiology and Biochemistry exams well and was so relieved that the exams are finally over. We had normal lessons on thursday and I looked forward to friday, because we are having holidays. My college was closing for Christmas holidays. I had already packed my bag. I just wanted to go home.

At the dissection hall on Friday, Dr. Rajesh came with our reports. He called each student by name and announced the mark. Aparna got 38 marks and I was getting worried. I didn’t want to be the only student who failed. I knew Shylaja would fail too, and when Dr. Rajesh called Shylaja’s name, my heart was beating non stop
“You scored the highest marks Shylaja. You got 48 marks. Congrats” Everyone was clapping their hands and Shylaja was beaming in pride. A pride she gained by cheating a totally innocent, ignoramus, village woman, who has to fight each day just to stay alive.
I knew women can be vicious, but some how, I never thought, you would find them in a medical college, where you are being trained to save human lives, where compassion is the most important trait.

oh I forgot to mention: I scored 4 marks! out of 50. One mark more than Himanshu, who has been writing first year exams for 3 years!. So I didn’t score the lowest marks.. yay!!

15 thoughts on “Viciousness

  1. the social structre of the women’s hostel i think is so different from the men’s hostel.
    at the men’s hostel, we do strategic study. and the strategy is derived from hours of discussion over the phone, authenticating news about leaked qn papers etc. once taht s done, we get the nerds. they do a close evaluation of the already framed list of questions, and add anything else that they feel is important. the whole thing never used to go beyond 50 marks’ worth.
    and then it’s everyone or none.

    where else will you find such harmony, if not the engineering college mens’ hostel!

    btw, what happened to your marks?
    not that it amtters anyway, you always have the externals! hehe.

  2. Totally understand the situation you were in. In nursing school, it was a bit different. It was our seniors telling us not to study too hard. Almost everyone in our class did pretty bad the first semester in anatomy. We later found that our seniors had done pretty well in their classes. Thank goodness we learnt that after the first semester. That chaurasia book was a pain anyway- wasn’t it in black and white?

    How do you remember the exact details? You are amazing!!

  3. ooooo Shylaja is such a Biatch…

    I truly agree..Women are the worst friends…they are suck back biters..and hate to see others succeedin…

    talkin out of personal experience…my bestfriend of 10years actually back bitched me sooo badly in college that i had no friends for the 1st 2 years…since that day i swore never ever will i let a woman do that to me…

    to this day i cannot trust a best friend is a guy and we have been bestest friends for ever…

    your blog brought back old memories…stupid women!!!


  4. Women are their worst enemies

    i had roomates who used to call my mom up and complain about the cultural activities i was part off – i was representing the univ n i realised the weren’t too happy about seeing me win

    I had a classmate who will bitch about me or call me a slut if men spoke to me n not her ;p

    funny thing is i have had longer friendships with men then with women

    everytime i trust a women she does something n now im really scared

    Sad isnt it – n it doesn’t stop there

    theres mother inlaws, mothers, cousins, aunts, or any other women – why is there this need to put down another person

  5. omg! what a stupid girl she was? you must have been so mad at her, at least I’d have been. So is she a famous doc. now. I doubt.

  6. I remember scoring the lowest marks too in that year’s internals…!I had similar experiences where I got cheated by my close friends and i was so lost.I studied alone and had to no one to guide me.I felt this was the toughest part in my education.Just getting thro MBBS.Man!

  7. haa ..haaa now when it comes to college toppers, i remember a few women in my batch, off course they were the toppers …they never gave their notes to others, and i had my buddy (male) who was one of the toppers, his notes was with everyone…came the entrance for pg, none of the girls got through my buddy topped and he is practising..the famous girls, now one is a newsreader on tv..not the profession she took, the other a house wife….so was it all worth it…? not helping your batchmates and all that!!
    well,, well, hope u cleared the 1 st year exams…:)

  8. well Sarah, everyone’s bitching about women, but i do want to say that there are quite a few women I know who do help and give their notes as there are guys who refuse to share their stuff. It’s just some people are like that–like some good cooks never giving their recipes out, beats me why though!

  9. Felt good reading your last post, and hope Maria didnt take your new salwar!

    As for Shylaja… do you wish you could go back and whisper in young Nina’s ear to trust no one? I do. And what a sad thought that is.

  10. Anoop: I know

    Toothless: I guess it is one reason why allthough girls do well in studies, guys climb the career ladder better!

    Sujit: Agree

    Gini” Chaurasia is the annoying book in black&white, with a red cover and pages keep coming off from the bindings.. but I passed anatomy because of that book!! I hated Cunningham manual!

    Rosie: I never ever had a girl as a best friend!

    Rocksea: It is the truth

    Visithra: I agree fully, that men makes good friends.. and there is no bitching when you have a man as a friend..

    Neihsl” Funny thing is , she went to US and never cleared the USMLE and another classmate of mine, who failed most of the subjects in year one passed USMLE in the first attempt

    Maya: I am with you 100%.. Passing MBBS was the biggest hurdle ever in my life

    Vidya: Nah, she wasn’t alone. Another classmate forgot to elt us know that internal exam was postponed!

    Ronnie: I passes MBBS without ever repeating a single subject.. How I did it, I have no idea

    Suemama” Atleast in the medical college, it was the guys who always shared the notes, they even photostated their notes for me.. girls..nah never!

    Just me: She didn’t take the salwar.. I guess If only I knew, I should never trust anyone

    Alex: It is so difficult to get a good friend!

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