stained life

Akkachi was cleaning my leg and I asked her
“Akkachi, Why does Amma hate me so much?”
“She doesn’t hate you Nina.”
“Ofcourse She does. I do everything for her and still she hates me. She always calls me deaf and dumb and blind”
“Nina, Do you love your mother”
“That is a silly question Akkachi, ofcourse I love my mother. She is my mother, How can I hate her?”
“Same thing Nina, You are her daughter Nina, How can she hate you?”
“Then why is she so mean?”
“Who asked you to climb the fence wall?, you are the one who was naughty and she punished you because you are naughty!”
“Nina, I think you broke your bones, May be we should go to the hospital”
Amma was in the living room with my sisters
“Chechy, Could you come and see Nina’s legs. I think she broke her bones” Akkachi spoke to Amma
“Keep quiet Akkachi, don’t tell her that I broke my bones, She will hit me again”
I tried to hush Akkachi.
Amma came with my sisters to inspect my leg.
“hmm, May be you are right Akkachi, Take her to the hospital tomorrow morning”
“Chechy, Don’t you think we should take her to the hospital now?”
“No” Amma screamed. “I want her to know how much it will hurt her. So she won’t climb the fence wall again”.
“See this” Amma pointed my leg to my sisters. “the same thing will happen to you, if you don’t obey me, you understand that?” She asked them
“Yes Amma, we understand, we will not disobey you”. They replied.
Amma went back to the living room.
I didn’t say anything. In my heart I knew, why Amma didn’t want me to go to the hospital. Night time, Autorickshaw drivers charge double rate and she doesn’t want to pay that. I thought, One day when I am big, I will make sure, my children won’t go through all these. If they want to climb the fence wall, I will let them. If they fall down, I will take them to the hospital. May be I will become a doctor, so I can take of my children better. That is a super idea, So I thought.
“You know something Akkachi, When I am big, I am going to be a doctor”
Amma over heard me and she responded
“May be you forgot, you are deaf, that means you can’t hear. Doctors use stethoscope to diagnose, and you won’t be able to do that Nina. Perhaps you should learn to dream less ambitious dreams!”
“Can’t you keep quiet Nina? You are talking too much” Akkachi was mad at me. She came close to me and whispered
“You can be, whatever you want Nina. You are a smart girl. But don’t tell your mother anything. She will always find fault.”
I whispered back” I didn’t tell anything to Amma, she over heard me.”
“Next time, remember when you speak unnecessary things, You are giving your mother, more reasons to hurt you”
“ok. I will remember”. I whisperd back.
“Wait here, I will come now.”
“Where are you going Akkachi?”
“I will get some medicine for you”
Akkachi took the sickle and went to the back yard. I looked at me leg. It is now twice the original size and it was painful. I tired to press my leg slowly to see, where it is broken. I couldn’t figure it out. I pictured myself to be a doctor and seeing her patient.
‘oh, you poor little thing, how did this happen? It must be hurting you a lot. I will give you an injection. and the smart courageuos Nina who is not scared of needle, unlike normal children, will smile and show her arm for the Dr to give injection’
“There is a place specially meant for those who smile without any reason. It is called ulanpara.(mental hospital)”
I woke up from my reverie to see Akkachi standing in front of me with a bowl full of green mush.
“I was not smiling. What is that in the bowl Akkachi?”
“medicine for your leg, This will reduce the pain and swelling”. Akkachi applied the medicine on my leg, It felt very cold and funny.
“Stay still Nina,Don’t move your leg”. Akkachi ordered.
“Akkachi what are you doing there?” Amma called out from the living room
“Chechy, I ground some communist pacha leaves with turmeric and made a paste for Nina’s leg”
“Put an old cloth on her bed, the medicine will stain the bed sheet otherwise”
“I will” said Akkachi.

20 thoughts on “stained life

  1. 🙂
    oh you have a large array of events stored in. so curios to see how life turns out for you at each corner. you write it out so well.
    your writeups have a lot of life in it, thatz why i keep on visiting, sarah.

    great to see that your wishes came true and you became a doctor.

  2. Wow! And Sarah became a doctor! Out of the mouth of babes……
    What did Mum say when you got admission to Med School?
    Have you read the book “A child called It?” You get to read about a mother who abused only one of her kids. And he became a great writer and an achiever!!!

  3. So Nostradamus….You spoke the future. Maybe the human mind really is so strong…to travel to the future, and to travel to the past as well…

    I am waiting for the next post…let the day pass faster! 🙂

  4. its so wonderful…how u remember each and every day in life…and are able to pen it down too so beautifully.

    my parents always tell me the kanakkukal of the beatings they had to take for every small and big misadventure and how i am so lucky to be let off for for most of my mischiefs.

    yet i somehow have a grouse against them for caning me…i think it totally changed my personality, made me a rebel and a very over-sensitive guy…like u whenever i got caned i wud say to myself i’ll never beat my kids when i have them.

  5. Lg: I do.. I hv done it, so I let them. But I do stand at the bottom hoping to catch them if they fall!! I don’t get mad at the kids for falling down and getting hurt. I always think, I have fallen down many times and hv hurt myself, what right do I have to judge my kids, when they fall down?.. So when they get hurt.. I give a hug, tht I never got..but not get mad..

    YSAJ: Neh.. I can never be Roy!

    Thanu: she didn’t believe in any love.. she allowed my sisters to do a lot of things, she never let me..

    Sujit: yes

    Starrynights: How much ever mother tried to cap my limits, I would go above tht…

    Rocksea: When you write things that happend in ur life, then u don’t need inspiration.. it just comes out.. and I am glad you like to read it..

    Lotus reads: Thank you

    Silverine: Akkachi was the silent person.. Ammachi was the loud one.. and chakki was the balance.. the three of them were so much part of my life.. they helped me to be what I am now in my life..

    Visithra: One of the joy mother has is not giving me Akkachi’s address. I asked her a thousand times.. She won’t give. She never gave a reason why I shouldn’t write to Akkachi.

    Techno: If it wasn’t for my mother, I would have never become a Dr. Because she told me, I can’t do it, I wanted to do medicine. Honestly I wanted to be a chef..but I became a dr..just to annoy mother..

    Geetha: Thank you

    Pophabi: Not Nostradamus.. If mother didn’t tell me that day tht I can never be a doctor, i wouldn’t have bothered.. Because she said tht.. I worked really hard. I had to show her that I could do it..

    Jiby: I don’t beat my kids. I promised myself that, and I don’t want to break that promise. MY son is very naughty. He drives me insane. I hv decided to talk than beat.
    I agree, the beatings made me a rebel and oversensitive. There were times I refused to cry and mother beat me more because I didn’t cry..

    Hillgrandmom: I became a dr, just to prove her wrong!

    Chandu: thank you.. You have another’s post.. wht is Kali kala vaibhavam?.. I don’t even know wht it means in malayalam..but mother always said tht

    Has to be me: You are right

  6. we do remember incidents frm childhood that impacts us soo much..and u do hav lots of such memories.. i do believe everything in life happens for good.. how true it was in ur case.. and u were such a spunky, ambitious brave little girl 🙂 no wonder u turned out to be what u r today.. and ur akkachi is such a wise lady..

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