“ Ammachi what did my Appachan look like?” I asked her again, hoping she would remember something about my grandfather

“I saw your appachan for the first time in the church. He looked the same size as my father and I thought he would have no trouble buying me a pavada(skirt).”

“The priest spoke in Syriac and I couldn’t understand most of what he said. He took the gold chain with the cross pendent and blessed it and placed it on my neck. He did the same for your Appachan. Then he took the rings, blessed it. H then gave one ring to Appachan and one to me and we exchanged the ring. The priest blessed the minnu(traditional Syrian christian thali with a cross embedded in it) and your Appachan tied the minnu on my neck. Afterwards your Appachan gave me a new neriyathu.”

Ammachi lifted her hand and showed me an old, nearly worn out ring and said’ this is the ring that tied me down to this house. A bond that was like a chain that I could never break free from.

I could see the anger in her grandmother’s eyes. I didn’t understand why Ammachi was angry. I was too scared to ask her. I was angry with myself for making her upset. But Ammachi continued her story.

“After the wedding, I had to wear the new neriyathu that your Appachan gave me. My mother and the other women relatives went back to our house. My father and few of the male relatives and Appachan’s family walked to your Appachan’s house for the wedding reception. I had never been there before. I had to follow the women and sit in the kitchen, while the men ate in the courtyard. There was boiled tapioca fish curry parippuvada(fritters) and payasam(kheer).”

“While waiting for the men to finish the meal, your Appachan’s sisters came and took my hand to survey the gold bangle Kunjannamma Kochamma had given me that morning. They were discussing how much it weighed and what is the resale value. Some of the women asked my mother-in-law how much dowry my parents paid. My mother in law shook her head and grumbled,
‘Oh nothing much. I am sure they could have paid more. I can’t believe they send their only daughter with a tiny little bangle. They even removed the blessed gold chain immediately after the marriage was solemnised.’
Rahelammai, who was your Appachan’s aunty said looking at me ‘ she is a beautiful girl and that an old man like your son was lucky to have found her’.
Ptew!! My mother-in law-spat the tobacco she was chewing in to the kolambi and said ‘ No, my son certainly could have gotten a prettier and richer bride’.