“After the priest went back, everyone continued to munch the banana chips and talk and sing. Then sometime late in the night my father told my mother, It is time we sleep, tomorrow is going to be long day. That night I slept between my mother and Kunjannamma Kochamma.

“The next morning my mother got me dressed in a chatta and mundu, which she taught me how to tie. After getting dressed, mother made me sit on a stool in the living room where visitors could see me. Kunjannamma Kochamma came and sat next to me. She took my hand and rubbed little oil over it. She then squeezed my palm and put a gold bangle around my wrist. She told me,

‘Thangamma, you are getting married today and I want you to be a good girl and listen to your husband. When you go to his house, his mother might ask you to give her this gold bangle. You must tell her you can’t remove it from your hand because the bangle is too small and it would hurt your hand to take it off. You should only remove this bangle if there ever is a time you need money and can’t get it from anyone, then you can sell or pawn it. But you must remember that you have nothing else left to sell once you sell this bangle.’
I looked at her and nodded my head. She then reminded my mother to get my father’s gold chain with the cross pendant. It is required in the church as part of the wedding ceremony. When my mother placed the chain with the cross pendant on my neck, Kunajannamma Kochamma told my mother,
‘Don’t forget to remove the chain immediately after the wedding, otherwise the grooms family will assume that the chain was part of the dowry and may not return it.’

“All the visitors came inside to see me, and I could hear them saying how beautiful and matured I looked. Then my father told my mother it was time to go to the church. Suddenly my mother started to cry and I didn’t understand why. Seeing her tears I too started to cry. All the women consoled my mother. They told me not to cry or I would look ugly with swollen eyes. My father was getting impatient and he organized all the men and they started to walk towards the church. Then the women got together and walked to the church, with me walking in the front.

“I hardly knew how to walk wearing the mundu., At one stage, I lifted the front part of the mundu so it was easier to walk and then felt my ears being twisted and turned as my mother hissed.

’ You are going to be a wife and you are lifting your mundu and showing everyone your leg?! She scolded me under her breath,’Eente karthave ! (oh my god!)When is this child going to learn how to behave like a woman?

Fortuntely kochammai consoled her, ‘Now, now, it is her first day of wearing mundu, be patient, she will be a good wife’.

I have never seen Kochammai, but have often heard that she was a gentle, kind and extremely beautiful woman. She was Ammachi’s aunty (mother’s youngest sister). Kochammai was wheatish in colour and had light green eyes and very long black hair. Everyone called her poochakkanni(cat’s eye lady). The green eye probably was from her Syrian ancestors. By the time Kochammai was ten years old there were marriage proposals for her from far away places, all after hearing how beautiful she was. Her family wanted to find the most suitable boy for her, and they were overjoyed when a proposal came for her from a very rich family based in Thiruvanathapuram..