We had to walk to Chengannur bus station to catch the bus to Kottayam. Living with my parents for the last 10 years has taught me that as long as I don’t let them talk to each other, everything would be fine. I would keep asking my dad stupid questions so he would be busy talking to me. Although I was really tired today, I was determined not to let my parents talk to each other. My father knows about planets and stars, so I decided to ask him about stars today. I pointed the brightest star in the sky and asked him
“What star is that?”
My father looked at the sky and told me,
“Nina, that is not a star, it is a planet”. I didn’t expect my mother to open her mouth. But she couldn’t waste an opportunity and retorted in a mocking voice,
“yeah,planet, your father works for the planetorium to know which is a star and planet”
My father stopped walking and alarm bells started ringing viciously in my head and I didn’t know how to diffuse the tension.
“never mind Appa, I know it is a planet, let us go home”
My father gave me that look which tells me things have gone out of control. My mother kept on walking and my father yelled to my mother
“STOP RIGHT THERE”.
That order is like an army command and my mother stopped in her tracks. My father walked to her and used his hand and slapped her across the face. Many people were walking on the road and no one stopped to diffuse the tension. It is a domestic dispute and though it is happening right in the middle of a public road, no one bothered to interfere.
I ran to my father, tried to pull him away from my mother,
‘Appa, please don’t hit amma.’
Let us go home. We will miss the bus.
I started tugging his shirt and he started to walk, he turned and warned my mother
‘Don’t you open your mouth’.
I hated myself for asking the dumb question which lead to all the trouble. I walked holding my father’s right hand tightly, so even if my mother said anything, he wouldn’t be able to hit her again.
Before we got on to the last bus to Kottayam, my father checked his wallet for ticket money. Most of the times the conductor of the last bus wouldn’t have enough loose change and because all the shops are closed and there is no way one can change the big note to small denominations, one is forced to either give off( or donate) the balance to the conductor or give him the exact amount. My father only had a RS.50 note on him and he turned and asked my mother, “ Do you have any change?”
I quickly gripped his hand tight. My mother pretended she didn’t hear the question and turned her head and looked the oter side. She is obeying his command. He is the one who told her not to open her mouth and she decided to do just that. I looked around and there were lots of people in the bus stand. My father tried to shake me off his hand and I pleaded to him, ‘ Appa please, don’t fight’. Perhaps my father saw my scared face . He decided not to fight. The bus was crowded and my mother managed to get a seat in the ladies side. I didn’t want to sit with her. She would be mad at me for asking the stupidest question and making them fight and for getting the slap from appa and I know she would pinch me.
My father told me ‘Nina, go sit with your mother’ I shook my head, ‘ No appa, I want to stand with you’ I gave him the best smile I could offer and he lifted me up and carried me all through the journey. I must have slept off, because I don’t remember the walk back home from the Kottayam bus stand.