Amma and Maria were busy most evenings shopping for new things for Maria to take to college.
I overheard them talking about going to the Carona to look for sandals. I wanted to go too. Carona always has the latest shoes and after buying my black shoes there the last time, I became a member of their stamp collecting team. If I send the main office a receipt of new shoes, I can get 20 more new stamps. I have been collecting stamps from the time we were in Malaysia. Appa used to bring stamps from Britain from his office and together we would soak the envelopes in water and remove the stamps. Appa taught me how to dry the stamp by keeping it in the freezer for few hours.
“Can I come with you?”
“No” Screamed Maria
“Why not?”
“Because you are uncultured and uncouth. You are an embarassement. Remember the last time I took you out for shopping what you did?”
I was trying to remember the sins I have committed. I couldn’t.
“What did I do?” I asked indignantly.
“Oh, Kochumaharani forgot already? You asked me in front of everyone. What is carefree? Do you remember now?”
Yes, I remembered. I have watched the advertisement for carefree everytime in Vanitha magazine. I thought it must be an Indian biscuit. Maria and I were at the Ladies corner shop and I saw Maria buying a packet of carefree. That is when I asked her “Is it a biscuit?”
Maria pinched me so hard that day. The shop attendent was laughing at me and I remember thinking everyone is mad. Just because I asked if carefree is a biscuit, I got pinched and laughed at.

Amma bought Maria a brand new sandals with heels. I knew that was Maria’s christmas gift. Amma didn’t want to buy anything for me, so she said it was something Maria needed at the engineering college.
“Can I please try your sandals Maria? I have never worn a high heel sandals”
“No way. You will spoil it.”
“I promise I won’t”
“No. This is mine”
Amma was sittting down at the dining table and drinking her coffee.
“Can I please have the bill Amma? I can send it to the Carona shop and they will send me more stamps”
“Nina, Maria too wants to join the stamp collecting club, anyway it is her sandals and her bill”
“But Maria never collects stamps. It is only me and Appa who collects stamps in this house.”
“Well, you are never too old to start a new hobby”
I turned around and walked out. I was so mad at Amma, I imitated the way she spoke the last sentence”well you are never too old”
“Did you say something Nina?”
“No , I didn’t”

I went to the field to look at the panineer champakka tree. The tree is very tall and in order to prevent me from climbing, Amma had cut all the branches near the bottom. There were at least 20 white juicy fruits on the tree. They were looking at me and saying, “you can’t catch me, neh neh neh neh”
“Hmm, I thought. I am Methran Thambi’s grand daughter, and you my dear friend is only a fruit. You think I can’t catch you?”
I looked around me. There was plenty of rocks and small stones. I took one and threw it up and learned the first lesson of law of gravity. The rock fell down right on top of my head
“Ouch”, I screamed. I rubbed my head with my hands, so there won’t be any bumps. I was mad. I took more rocks from the floor and started to throw. Not a single one even managed to touch the fruit.
Methran Thambi’s grand daughter isn’t as good as she thought. I sat down on the steps. I saw a fruit on the ground. I have been forbidden from eating any fruit that is on the ground, because wild animals could have touched or eaten them and I could fall sick. I picked up the fruit. There were no bite marks. I wiped it and started to eat
‘If I have to die, there is nothing that can stop. At least I would die knowing that I ate a yummy panineer champakka.”
I heard someone opening the main gate. I watched my mother leaving.
‘Oh no, She is going to ‘just over there’ again. Leaving me alone with Maria.’

A little while later, I heard Maria talking to Liza and Sally. She was going somewhere. I waited for her to close the gate and I ran to where Liza and Sally were standing
“Where did Maria go?”
“She went to buy a magazine at the Paico shop”
“Oh really?”
There was something I had to do. I ran inside. I took Maria’s new sandals out of the box. I desperately wanted to try them on.
“What are you doing Nina?” I looked up to see Liza watching me
“I just want to try this on Liza. Please don’t tell Maria. I have never had a high heel sandals”
“You can’t take Maria’s things Nina”
“I know, but I just want to try it one time. I will buy you a cream bun from Better bakery if you don’t tell Maria. I promise”
“No. I am going to tell Maria that you wore her sandals”
I thought anyway Liza is going to tell on me. I might as well try the sandals and get beaten
I wore the sandals. It was big for me and I could hardly balance. I walked holding the side of the wall. There was no thrill anymore as I my feet kept tripping and I took the sandals off my feet, wrapped in the clear cellophane paper and placed it back in the box. I watched Maria opening the gate and Liza telling her excitedly that I wore the new sandals. Maria ran inside like a possessed woman and screamed and asked me
“Did you try my sandals?”
I nodded my head. She pulled my hair. There was a handful of my hair in her hands. My scalp was on fire. She didn’t stop with that. She started to hit me and scratched me all over. I pushed her and ran out.
“Stay out there”. I watched Maria slamming the door shut. I didn’t want to be locked out of the house. I remembered the kitchen door and I ran to the back of the house. Maria was faster than me. She shut the door, just as I was about to reach the door.
I went back and sat on the veranda. It was getting dark. I watched the porch light being turned on at Akashavani’s house. I was getting scared. I was scared of ghosts that roam around the earth at twilight time. I quickly got up and knocked the door
“Maria, please open the door”
I could hear Sally begging Maria to open the door. I heard Sally crying and I knew, Maria must have pinched her. I didn’t want Sally to get hurt. So I stopped knocking at the door.
I thought of my options. There was only one option. I will run away. I wanted to get out of this family. I walked to the main gate. It was very dark. Someone’s dog was braking in the distance. None of the street lights worked. I could hear someone talking at Akashavani’s house. They must be eating their dinner now. I leaned on the gate and looked at the main road and I saw someone walking down. I stared at the person and I knew it is my mother. The next thing I did was something I never knew I could. I bit myself hard on my hand and the moment Amma opened the gate, I cried and ran to her
“Amma, Maria bit me and locked me out of the house. See the saliva is still on my hand”.
Amma touched my hand
“How dare she?”
Amma pulled my hand and marched inside the house
“Open the door Maria” Amma was shouting.
Maria quickly opened the door
“Did you bite Nina?” Amma asked her
“No, I didn’t”
“Show her your hand Nina” Amma ordered me
I showed Maria the fresh bite mark.
“I didn’t do this Amma. I swear I didn’t”
I watched Amma giving Maria a tight slap across her face
“Don’t you dare hurt your sisters. You are supposed to take care of them”
Maria was mad and she responded
“My sisters are not my responsibility. Perhaps you should think of taking care of your own children, Instead of gallavanting around the town.”
There was a moment of pin drop silence. Amma was stunned. I watched Maria going back to her room and Amma walking to the kitchen. Somehow I knew I won again. Maria never hurt me physically as she knew, what I would do if she as much as raised her hands on me.