A friend committed suicide.

I stayed away from the blog the past few days hoping that my anger will subside.

But it hasn’t.

I am still angry.

If there is one thing I do know, it is despair. I have been there.. in the throes of despair.. so many times.

Most of my battles, I fought alone. Apart from my kids, I don’t even have any family. But there was one thing I never forgot, that even in the darkest moment, even when I felt there was no point in taking another breath..that I chose to have three kids and they don’t deserve the heartache of the knowledge that their mother took her own life.

My friend’s son is in grade 12 this year. A bright intelligent boy and the past few days he has been the point of exhaustion.Last year, he wanted to go to Caltech to study. This year, he hasn’t stopped crying.

Because she was a single mom, her son has no where to go. All of a sudden he is an orphan. I have offered a place for him to stay. But I know I can’t fill the void in his life, especially at this crucial period of his life.

As I have always written what I really felt in this blog and I know what I am going to write next is going to piss many of you. I don’t care.

My friend was incredibly selfish. Trust me, I know how life can wear you down. But she forgot, her son didn’t ask to be born. She made that choice and she made the choice to abandon him when he needed her the most.

If you are depressed, or if you feel like giving up the fight

First . you are not alone. There are so many people who love you and care for you.

Go to a doctor, ask for help. Call one of those helplines.. Do something.

Taking your life is not the solution to your problems.


18 thoughts on “Hmm

  1. 🙁 My heart goes out to the kid! She owed it to him to be there for him at least until he could stand on his own! It reminds me of the many time I have considered it when I was overwhelmed with taking care of my father (who was totally dependent on me for everything since he had lost cognition). The only thing that kept me going was the thought about who would take care of him after me not to mention leaving my kids. But then again we don’t know what was going on in her mind – Too much of the wrong chemical could have sent it into a tailspin blinding her to any reason. It is incredibly generous of you to have offered him a home! It is nice to know he has people who care about him around him.

  2. That poor child. Prayers that he will recover best he can. Life will never be the same.
    Hope he takes your help, and get himself together.

  3. Totally agree with you Sarah.. There were many points in life at which I thought giving up is the only option. But I don’t want to be remembered as someone who gave up the battle, rather as someone who fought till the end. Taking my life is the most selfish act I can do to those who love me.

  4. I agree

    My classmate too did the same , not sure what she was thinking they went her husbands place and she commuted suicide there? She might have thought she won in the battle , but 1 yr old girl lost something she will never ever get again

    • Nitha: I think it was a very cruel game.. to kill herself when her son was out, so he comes home to find her body.. it was a mean thing to do.

  5. I agree with you. The mother should have thought of the child.

    Two years ago when we were visiting India our neighbors daughter just 23 years old, bright, beautiful and well educated with very supportive parents killed herself. All because she could not bear her failed grandiose arranged marriage. She lived with the guy for 3 months. I thought she was selfish as she never considered the agony and burden that her parents have to live with for the rest of their lives.

    • SS: Son found his mother’s body. It was obvious that since the two of them lived alone in the house, it would be he who would find the body. She didn’t even spare him from that trauma.

  6. Yes i agree with u. Been there still am but kids faces me face the challenge. I want my kids to see and learn. Its ok to cry have breakdowns. But next morning face the prob. Taking own life doesnt solve things. Hope the kid gets good support and guidance. God bless him

  7. Am sorry to hear this, but I also agree it is selfish. It’s not like you cannot receive support as there are plenty of resources for assistance.

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