Last Saturday, I had dinner with other interns. During our meal, my phone kept pinging with FB messages. Normally, I don’t like to use my phone while I am having dinner, but this time, I told my friends that I have to talk to my kids. My youngest was coming home from Spain and I wasn’t home.
One of my fellow intern commented ” you are very close to your children”
I said “yes, I am”
She then said, “I wish I was this close to my mom, both my parents are doctors and when I was young, I wasn’t even allowed to be sick, cause neither of my parents wanted to stay back home and take care of me. Now they are semi retired and have the time, but I don’t live at home any more and we don’t even talk”
I know there is no right or wrong way and each to his own. But I do think it is worth to spend as much time as you can when your children are young.. Someone once told me “pay is less, but the fringe benefits are spectacular” I could have had my dream boat a decade ago, had I not given up work.Staying at home and raising my children have given me the closeness with my children that no amount of money could ever buy.
It’s something for which there is no right or wrong answer. But, having to get most of the time for kids is priceless. But then again you cant blame women looking to have a great professional career.
I read somewhere that the Pepsico CEO Indira Nooyi gets so little time to spend with her daughter that for months their only communication was through email!! Tough to strike a balance between the two.
Karthik: No one is blaming a woman trying to have a great career. I believe you can have everything you want.. but not at the same time. I am eternally grateful for the fact that I have had the best (close to) 20 years with my kids and today as I build my career to the heights I want to reach, I do it with no regrets. I am happy that my children will never have to email my secretary to talk to me. I am not their boss for them to make an appointment. I am their mother.
True..Can’t have everything at same time..very true
Thank you for this post today
Sham: You are welcome
It’s a great post, and I agree. But also to add, I also think the way you parented them and allowed them to freely discover themselves added to the formation of the closeness you have with your kids (only cuz even if you did stay at home but were to overprotecting, giving them no free will to be themselves, not sure if the results would be the same.). Understanding them and letting them to develop at their own pace is also key in establishing a good relationship. Nicely written.
J1206: thank you