They say never say never, but this is one never that will always be a never. I will never get married.
When I got married the first time, I had so much hope, dreams and expectations. It was so exciting. I was like a bird all ready to soar high in this journey with my partner.
First it was my name that went. The name I was born with, the name my parents gave. Just because I chose to live with a man, the society expected me to change my name..
It was as if I could never be me and still be married.
As a woman, you then start to give off a bit of yourself.. for the sake of peace, sanity and each day you find a few of your feathers have been plucked..eventually you lose your wings and your identity.. the wings you thought you would be using to soar high..
Finally, you lose yourself completely. You become someone’s wife, someone’s daughter-in law, someone’s sister in law and someone’s mother. But you as a person do not exist. Your dreams, your hopes, your aspirations take a backstage because as a woman, wife and a mother, you are expected to give all of yourself.. for your family. It is your duty. You are like a candle, burning to give light so needed and everyone is happy because you give the light.. yet no one sees you burning..
It took me years to find my wings again. I will never ever give that up.
I am me.. I will always be me. I have a name and I have dreams and hopes and ambitions. I will not sacrifice my dreams, hopes and ambitions to a marriage. Even if it meant that I will have to say goodbye to a guy who means the world to me.