My baby

In a lot of ways my son is very much like me..being a creature of habit tops the list.

From the time he was little, Whenever he takes his shower, he has always forgotten to take change of clothes and since none of us would help him and he wouldn’t wear the clothes he had worn before taking the shower, he would wrap the towel around his body  and run to his room to get new clothes from his closet. So it was a bit odd to see him remembering to take change of clothes. The first time it happened I thought  finally the planets are in alignment..but when it happened again, there was an inkling of doubt in my mind..something wasn’t right.
I finally asked him on the third day “What is going on?”
It took few threats from my part before he showed me his back.
He had blue black marks all over his back, courtesy of his friends..

My son is a genius. He was born that way. He was (is) always picked on at school by his friends..and there was nothing I could do to stop it. So I did what I could and told him “ignore them, they are teasing you because they are jealous of you”..
There are laws that protects you from racism. physical assault and some amount of bullying..but regular routine teasing is considered “normal and acceptable”

Few weeks ago, the grade 7 students had to do a windows media project as part of the new Australian curriculum and none of the teachers knew how windows media works. My son was asked by the teachers to do a presentation for all grade7 students.. He did..and the blue black marks on his back were the results..

My son doesn’t want me to go to the school to report it. He doesn’t want to make it any more worst.
“They are my friends Mom and I already told them to stop hitting me”

The school has hands off policy and my son knows his friends would be in trouble if I go and complain.

He begged me not to complain..
I wish I could accept the blue black marks on his back as part of growing up. I couldn’t. It was hard to go against my child’s wish not to make his life any more difficult that it already is..
I told him, I would have respected his wish, had he been honest and came and told me what happened, instead of trying to hide the marks from me. He lost his bargaining power when he did that.
I also needed to have the incident recorded, because if anything happens in the future ( if my son is hit again and he retaliated) I needed to show the past history..
I complained to the school.
My son is angry ..because now his friends give him “death stares”
So long as they are not bashing him up, I can live with that..
I told him” it is my duty and responsibility to care and protect my children and I did what I had to do”
But now I fear.. the repercussions..
 

6 thoughts on “My baby

  1. You did the right thing. As a parent, you made the right choice. And as parents of the boys who did this to your son, they will know that too.

    I cannot believe a school would consider that 'normal and acceptable'!! It's beyond teasing – it's assault!

    We have so many anti-bullying campaigns going on at the moment for schools and what's the point if things like this are happening.

    I hope he is ok and this gets resolved properly.

  2. You did the right thing. I design bullying prevention programs as part of my work–and the most important thing we say is- never ignore it. Especially when it has escalated to physical abuse. Thats a complete No No. Im sure your son also knows you did the right thing.

    I dont know why is life in schools so difficult. Sigh!

  3. Something doesnot make sense here.
    You were so upset that one other child got called some racial slurs, and you were condemning their “indian” parents who told their child to ignore it, for tolerating this and having no backbone. And you yourself told your child to ignore it. Well, I had expected better from you.(from what I know you on this blog). How can you still call those kids his “friends”? How about calling department of education on this, if school doesnot make sure, this never ever happens? This is very very serious, a child safety is top most, where he/she is genius, average IQ, or below average.

  4. ZZZ: read again !
    “My son is a genius. He was born that way. He was (is) always picked on at school by his friends..and there was nothing I could do to stop it. So I did what I could and told him “ignore them, they are “teasing you” because they are jealous of you”..
    There are laws that protects you from racism. physical assault and some amount of bullying..but regular routine teasing is considered “normal and acceptable..
    You ought to really read what is written before you come and try to take that stick from my eye. I mentioned clearly that he was (is) picked on at school..and there is no rememdy for teasing because teasing is considered normaland only if it the teasing is a racist taunt then you can do something..
    I did go to the school to complain when he was bashed..

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