I wish I know

I wish I know why I do things the way I do.
It was a pretty simple thing.
Doing the laundry.
Clothes were in the machine on soak wash program. I was planning to start the machine after I dropped the kids to school.
As soon as I came back, Amma asked me
“Don’t you want to start the machine?”
Of course I wanted.
But because she asked me, I didn’t.
Why? I don’t know.
If she had not asked me, I would have done it.

But that is not the only issue. If I had done it yesterday as I had planned, all the clothes would have been dry by now, as yesterday was sunny. Today it is raining cats, dogs and men!
I wish I knew why I do things like this.
I wish Amma understands that I have been doing all the chores on my own without her telling me to do so. She doesn’t have to tell me. She doesn’t have to remind me.
Alas.. she won’t understand
and I will continue to be defiant and loose the battle !

4 thoughts on “I wish I know

  1. I do that too, Sarah. I'm only defiant with people who (& has the) tendency to order, ie, show superiority. When in actual fact, we know nothing is so superior about them.

    So, I stick with my stubborness knowing it does not do me any good. Nevermind that they 'stopped being 'superior' after a certain time, the effects are still lasting…thus I still defy them though it is no longer necessary nor applicable.

  2. but that's a mother for you–even if one is 70 and (one's mother 90?) a mother would feel the need to ask you why you had done that and how come you hadn't done this and why weren't you taking care of your health, and how come you are so stubborn, etc. That helps in keeping one young 🙂

  3. I am the same like you .. when I was living with my parents, I loved to clean the house, unless I was asked to do it.. Someone asking/ordering me to do something makes me not want to do it 😛
    You are never alone, Sarah 🙂

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