My son went to school without saying bye to me.

He woke up angry. He was mad at me for every little thing from the time he woke up. I did try to make him calm down. But nothing worked. The more I tried, the angrier he became. Then I thought I would leave him alone, that made him even more angrier because he felt I was ignoring him.

It is quiet possible that I will have to meet with the principal some time this afternoon. ( Every time he has this anger moods, he usually does something that gets him in to trouble.)

i wish I know what makes my child so angry.
I wish I know how to help my child.

I was reading an article about gifted children this morning and found that kids like him have

Intellectual traits
Exceptional reasoning ability
Intellectual curiosity
Rapid learning rate
Facility for abstraction
Complex thought processes
Vivid imagination
Early moral concern
Passion for learning
Powers of concentration
Analytical thinking
Divergent thinking/creativity
Keen sense of justice
Capacity for reflection

Personality traits
Insightful
Need to understand
Need for mental stimulation
Perfectionism
Need for precision/logic
Excellent sense of humour
Sensitivity/empathy
Intensity
Perseverance
Acute self-awareness
Nonconformity
Questioning rules/authority
Tendency to introversion
(Silverman, 1993, p. 53)

Negative traits
• stubbornness
• non-participation in class activities
• uncooperativeness
• cynicism
• sloppiness and disorganisation
• a tendency to question authority
• emotional frustration
• absentmindedness
• low interest in detail.

He has all of the negative traits, every single one of them.
How do I raise him?
I don’t know.

8 thoughts on “

  1. One would be non-judgmental listening. Second would be to make some rules as a committee–you & all the children–when everyone is in a good mood–which can then be put up in a prominent place. Rewards & punishments can also be discussed and agreed to.

  2. Hmm..
    Long time- very long time !!…
    Thought this might help..

    Parent's Guide to IQ Testing and Gifted Education
    David Palmer, Ph.D.

    Parenting Gifted Kids: Tips for Raising Happy And Successful Children
    By James R. Delisle, Ph.D.

    The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids: How to Understand, Live With, and Stick Up for Your Gifted Child
    Sally Yahnke Walker, Ph.D.

    Parent's Guide to Raising a Gifted Child: Recognizing and Developing Your Child's Potential from Preschool to Adolescence (Paperback)
    By James Alvino, Ph.D
    Publisher and editor-in-chief of Gifted Children Monthly

    Parents' Guide to Raising a Gifted Toddler: Recognizing and Developing the Potential of Your Child from Birth to Five Years (Hardcover)
    By James Alvino, Ph.D
    Publisher and editor-in-chief of Gifted Children Monthly

    The Social and Emotional Development of Gifted Children: What Do We Know?
    By Maureen Neihart, et. al

    ANOTHER VIEW
    Another answer on this was this, from an expert…
    Q: My son recently took the Wesley test to enter the gifted program in his school. He scored an average of 139 with a Math score of 149. According to the tester he was off the chart literally.

    A: The Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children Fourth edition (WISC-IV) is among the most widely used children's intellectual ability assessment today. There are 10 required subtests (5 are supplementary) that yield a Full Scale IQ score and four Composite scores that are; Verbal Comprehension, Perceptual Reasoning, Working Memory, and Processing Speed. The Verbal Comprehension and Perceptual Reasoning Composites are very good indicators of giftedness (apparently Working Memory and Processing Speed are not).

    Yaya's average scores are rather high but as mentioned above, the best indicators of giftedness would be a DWI-1 score that can be computed for the combination of Verbal Comprehension and Perceptual Reasoning. An educational psychologist would be best able to interpret the scores.

  3. It is hard to make the right choices. But sometimes, the best thing to do is not to make choices, just go with the flow.
    Albeit the parenting books and resources are very good, they are not “the parent”. Read them, just don't let them color your vision. I can vouch that when you let go of every “should” you'll know just the right thing to do for your son.

  4. p.s.

    I see that your post was published a couple of days ago – I won't be surprised if by now, you can only see the positive qualities 😉

    Hope the meltdown is over and you're enjoying an intellectual conversation with your son!

  5. Be like him.
    A little confusing?
    Or in better words, be his age. Talk, play, participate, everything at his age level.
    Does he watch cartoons ? If yes, then sit with him and enjoy the cartoon. When I mean enjoy really enjoy.
    The idea is to that he should get the feeling “yeah she is like me”
    The minute we act as “parents” everything tumbles down.
    We have to just hover around and see that the kids don't do anything bad or harmful to others.
    Have to ignore the little things (after all we too were kids)
    I have seen parents simply keep saying “No” for everything.
    One more thing. Don't punish to remove our anger. Punish to reprimand.

  6. Hillgrandmom: Thank you for your suggestion. My son hasn't had a haircut since NOvember. He wants to grow his hair. He plans to argue with the school authorities if and when they come after him by saying that long hair is not detrimental to his health in anyway, Samson,Jesus Christ, Beatles, BoB Marley and the navajo people all had long hair and my son thinks so can he.
    I can force him to have a haircut as he is only 10 and has to follow my rules. But I also see his point. It is his hair and it is on his head, therefor he can decide what he wants. ( I haven't told him that, I am just waiting to see how it all goes)

    Madhavan kutty: The educational psychologist did see him and conducted the tests. Thank you for the links.

    Ireflect: Somedays it is really hard to see the positive aspects, especially when I am waiting for that phone call from school.. But then there are days he and I can sit down and talk about history of aviation and it feels so good.

    Haddock: When I was expecting him and noticed during the scan that it is a boy, i remember asking my Gynae, What am I going to do? I still ask the same everyday. He is so different from me. I don't even know what he thinks. Where as I have no issues with Yaya or baby. I am a female and I understand them perfectly.

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