I hate the feeling of not knowing something because I always feel that there is no excuse for not learning something you don’t know.
I am not able to walk away from something because I didn’t know how to do it.
It is very frustrating.
I keep pushing myself, but at the same time I suffer from severe anxiety of failing.
It is a catch 22 situation.

This time it is Sewing.

I don’t know how to use a sewing machine. I stitched quilt covers for my children by hand. Even their halloween costumes!
While I was stitching the quilt cover, I was so angry with myself because if I learned to use the sewing machine, I can stitch the quilt covers fast and won’t have to struggle and stitch by hand. ( More so because I am also a perfectionist and you know how difficult it is to stitch perfect stitches by hand)
But at the same time I was scared to go for sewing lessons because I didn’t want to make a fool of myself.

I have always wanted to learn how to cut and sew. My mother could measure, cut and sew an A line skirt in 30 minutes. She never tried to teach me sewing and after breaking her knitting needles I do not blame her.

But I always wanted to learn how to sew.

I even have a set of sewing pattern for dresses that I bought from the road side seller I found on MG road in 1989. I paid 16 Rs for that pattern book. A lot of money at that time.

A friend of mine sews all her dresses and I finally asked her yesterday if she can teach me how to sew. ( I was hoping she would say No!)
She asked me to come for lessons this morning.
I know it is just sewing, not a life or death situation.
But I am so scared..