The next morning, there was a sense of eerie calmth in Kottayam town. People were still talking and discussing, but it was no longer the same scene today as the question now was,
“who is the father?”
Milk man Shankaran came to our house to deliver the milk in the morning. As usual he came outside our door and rang his cycle bell.
Akkachi opened the door and went outside carrying the milk bowl.
“Chechy, do you want some extra milk today?” He asked Akkachi
“Why Shankara, did you accidentally put more water than the usual?” Akkachi aked him, while handing him the milk bowl.
It is common knowledge in Kottayam, that Shakaran dilutes the milk by adding a cup of water to every littre of milk, before he sells it.
“Ofcourse not Chechy, I sell only the freshest milk”Shakran replied
“It is just that today I didn’t deliver milk to the lane behind the Collectorate.”
“Why Shankara?” Akkachi asked
“aiyo ente chechy, I go to that lane everymorning to deliver milk, if that stupid woman says something stupid and tell everyone I am the father of her baby, people would believe her. I go there everymorning. How am I going to prove I am innocent? If anything like that happens, I will have no other option but to go to Kashi. otherwise my wife will kill me”.
“I want to stay here in this town in my old age”. So no milk for those who stay behind the Collectorate!”

While I waited for my school bus at the collectorate bus stand I was stunned to see my parents passing by in my father’s Enfield bike. Amma was holding Appa and they looked like film star Jayan and his heroine Seema eloping to get married. This is the first time since we came to India, Appa is dropping amma to work. I looked again to confirm it was indeed my parents. It was, my mother is wearing her favourite blue saree with green border and white blouse.
I could see Alice putting her head out of the bus window asking me to hurry up.. She saved a spot next to her seat for me and I sat with her.
“Did you hear the news?” She asked me
“Yes I did”
“My mother tells me it was a baby girl, and you know, Chatti gave up the baby for adoption and the nuns from the convent took the baby last night.” She spoke
“What are the nuns going to do with the baby?”
“they will sell the baby” She said
“No they don’t, you are silly” I told her
“Ofcourse they sell the babies”
“Who will buy the babies?” I asked her
“vellekkaru (white people). They come from America and buy the babies from the convent”
” What for? Why do they buy the baby?”
“I don’t know, but the nuns sell the babies at the orphanage and make lots of money”.
“How do you know all this Alice?”
“My mother told me”.
I wasn’t sure if Alice told me was the truth. I felt sorry for all the orphans at the convent and I promised myself, when I grow up I will adopt all the babies from the convent, so they won’t be sold to vellakkaru (white people).
By the time we reached the school, everyone was talking about father of Chatti’s baby.
“Even the mother superior from the convent asked Chatti, who the father is. Chatti didn’t answer”. Rani my class leader spoke.
Everyone tried to find out the father of Chatti’s baby. Nobody knew, Chatti never spoke about it.

As I came out of the school bus, wearing my brand new black shoes(2 size bigger) I felt like a queen. All my friends were jealous of me. Nobody in school had the same shoes. We bought the shoes last, and manged to get the latest one. I was proud and beaming. As I walked home, looking at my shoes all the time, I could feel there was something wrong. Crowds of people were talking excitedly. Womenfolks were standing together and discussing. Even the Ammachis(grandmothers) who couldn’t walk without assistance,were outside holding on to their children’s hand and talking animatedly. To me it felt that they were talking about me new shoes. But it didn’t make any sense. I got scared and I ran towards home as fast as my legs could carry me. As I reached my home,Akkachi and Maria were standing outside the gate and talking to Jolly Aunty and her mother in law.
“What is going on I asked Akkachi?”
“Chatti gave birth this morning”.
I know Chatti, she always sit on the collectorate bus stand and beg for money. I don’t know her real name. Everyone calls her Chatti, because she is physically disabled. she has no legs and sit on a small plank with home made wheels. Chatti wears slippers on her hands and use the them to push herself on her make shift wheel chair.
“But Chatti is not married!” I spoke
“ofcourse she is not.Who would marry a women with no legs?” Maria spoke
“Then how did she get preganant?”
“Go inside, you nincompoop, you haven’t hatched completely out of your own egg and you want to know about Chakki’s preganancy” Maria yelled
Jolly aunty made the ptu ptu sound and spoke”little girls shouldn’t listen to adult conversation”
I dragged my school bag inside. I very much wanted to know more about Chakki’s preganancy.
I banged the door shut. I was jealous of Maria. ‘Why does she have to be 8 years older than me’?
I wanted to know more and I climbed on the dining table and peeped through the transom on the window. I could see everyone talking. But I couldn’t hear. Then I remembered I am half deaf. I climbed down.
That evening when my father came from work Amma was waiting for him. As soon as he entered the hosue she asked
” Have you been anywhere near that Chatti’s house?”
I was doing my home work sitting at the dining table and wondered’What is wrong with my mother, why does she asks my father, if he has been to Chatti’s house, My father works near the post office, on the other side of town, as though she doesn’t know.’
Appa shook his head and said “no”
“You are sure?”. Someone said the baby is very fair !”Amma said
Appa saw the confused look on my face
“Keep quiet, you shouldn’t talk like that in front of the kids”.
Amma shrugged her head and walked off.
I went to the kitchen to tell Akkachi to get my father’s tea ready.
“Akkachi how are babies born?” I asked her
“When it is time to give birth, they go to the hospital and give birth”
“How does the baby come out?”
“Come here Nina, I will show you”
I went to her. Akkachi lifted my blouse and pointed the brown line that extends all the way from my belly button to the bottom of my tummy.
“This is the special zipper, only us women have it. When it is time to give birth, the doctor will open the zip and the baby will come out”
I looked at the zip on my tummy and asked
“where is that ‘thingy’ that you have to pull to open the zip?”
“it is hiding inside your belly button, Dr’s have special equipments to bring it out”.
“Oh!” I was so happy to finally learn how babies come out and took very good care of the zip and my belly button.

As soon as I reached home, I ran to Akkachi to show her the wounds on my leg.
“Akkachi look at my legs!”.
“Oh my God, Nina, how did this happen?”
“My shoes did this Akkachi”.
She hugged me.
“Oh Nina, how much pain must you have endured till now!”.
“Wait here, I will come now” and she went outside.
I saw her walking to the main road and I started to follow her,limping and dragging my feet.
“Nina, Don’t walk anymore with that legs. sit on the door step and wait for me.”
I couldn’t walk anymore and I sat on the door step. I looked at my legs. There were circles of flesh exposed on my heel. It was so raw and painful.
Akkachi came back holding few leaves in her hand
“What is it for Akkachi?” I asked her
“This is communist pacha leaves. It will heal the wound faster. she rubbed the leaves together and made a paste.
“Is it going to sting and burn?” I asked her
“No, Nina, it will soothe the wound”
she applied the paste on the wounds. It didn’t sting at all.
“Akkachi, why do you call the leaves communist pacha?”
“that is because, the plant is like the communist party people. It thrives on thrash! Like the communist people it is a pest and a nuisance.” She replied
“Akkachi did you know Methran Thambi was a communist?”
“hmm”, she nodded her head.
“Do you know why they have a sickle, hammer and a star as communist party’s emblem?” Akkachi asked me
I shook my head
“on a star lit night they wait for you?”
“who?”
“the communist party people. They hide and wait for you. When you reach their hiding place, they would use the hammer and hit your head. Once you fall on the ground they use the sickle and cut your head off.”
“Really Akkachi?”
“Really, I cross my heart, it is the truth”.
“Akkachi how did my grandfather die?”
“Well, he just died one day”.
“I know he just died one day, but how?”
“I don’t know”. Akkachi replied
“You know, and you are not telling me. I am going to have my tea” I got up to go to the kitchen.
I got up and most of the communist pacha paste fell off from my leg.
“Never mind the leaves Nina, I will put plaster for you later”.
“Nina, before you go,Will you bring your shoes and keep it near the door, so I can polish it for tomorrow” Akkachi instructed
I took my shoes from my school bag and kept it near the front door. I was so angry with the shoes for giving me so much pain. I kicked the shoes and my legs hurt even more. I left it near the door and went inside to have my tea.
Akkachi was busy in the backyard digging the soil with a hoe. I thought she might be planting yam and didn’t bother to go and check.
Amma came in the evening and I showed her the shoe bite marks.
“All new shoes give shoe bite Nina, Go bring me your shoes, I will stuff newspaper inside and tomorrow it will be bigger”.
I went to the main door and my shoes weren’t there.
“Akkachi, where are my shoes?”
“It is there near the door Nina” She yelled from the backyard.
I searched there again and it wasn’t there.
“Akkachi it isn’t here”
“ofcourse it is there, I just polished and kept it there”
She came wiping her hands on the edge of her saree.
she searched everywhere.
“Aiyyo ente karthave! (oh my god!), someone stole Nina’s shoes. I just left it here 10 mints ago.
Amma came outside after hearing all the commotion
“Chechy, I just polished Nina’s shoes and kept it here and someone stole it”. Akkachi told my mother
“Why did you leave the shoes outside Akkachi?” Amma was mad
“Chechy I only went to the backyard for less than 10 mints”
“Do you know how hard it is to find second hand shoes? I searched all over Kottayam to find shoes for Nina, and you have been so careless to leave it outside. Now you see, I have to buy Nina a new pair of shoes.Do you know how much a new pair of shoes costs?”
“You are old enough to be a mother and still irresponsible”
Akkachi started to cry.
“Now you are crying like a baby, go inside, before I get really mad at you.”
Akkachi went to the kitchen and I saw Amma, searching all around the house for my shoes. Like a police dog. She even went out and checked the drain. I got really worried and I quickly went to the kitchen and asked Akkachi
“where did you hide my shoes? Amma is searching for it”
“What shoes? i didn’t hide your shoes” She replied
“I know you hid my shoes, nobody would want to steal that old shoes Akkachi”
She bend down and whispered in my ears
“I buried your shoes inside the banana thicket, you deserve a new pair of shoes Nina”
“Do you think Amma will find it?”
“No, Nina, I buried it too deep”
From the kitchen window Akkachi and I watched silently, Amma searching everywhere for my shoes.

Communist party of India emblem
http://images.opentopia.com/enc/snap/409/408206.jpg
communist pacha
http://www.ehs.cdu.edu.au/chromolaena/1/1asia.html

I was excited to go back to school, to meet all my classmates after 2 long months of school holidays. I brushed my teeth using Binaca toothpaste. It was refreshing to use toothpaste after a long time.
Monday morning breakfast was again Chapati and I was glad to be back in my old routine. I quickly rolled my chapathi and placed it in my school bag without anyone seeing me. I wore my yellow shirt and green skirt.
Akkachi had already cleaned and polished my shoes. I imagined myself to be Cinderella, going for the ball. I tried to dance thinking that I am a dancing queen. As I walked, my legs were hurting a bit and I went to Amma and told her
“Amma, the shoes is hurting me”
“Nina, all shoes are tight when you wear it for the first time, walk around a little while and you will be fine”.
I said goodbye to my parents and walked to the Collectorate bus stand. By the time I reached the junction, my feet was sore. Skin was peeling and raw. I wanted to take my shoes off. But I didn’t want to be the only one in school without black shoes. I figured if I drag my feet slowly on the road, it wouldn’t hurt as much.
When the school bus came, I saw all my friends waiting to see me. everyone had new uniform and new bags. I sat next to Alice in the bus. Alice’s father died 2 years ago in a bus accident. I looked at her feet. She wore brand new leather shoes.
“where did you buy your shoes from?” I asked Alice
“From Corona”. She told me.
“They had so many different types of black shoes. some had flowers on them. But my mother told me, the flowers will come off after sometime, so I bought these shoes. This is 2 size bigger, so I can wear it next year also.”
She unbuckled the shoes and showed me the shoes. Inside her shoes, she has stuffed with strips of cloth to make them a size smaller.
“Where did you get your shoes from?” She asked me
“Don’t know, my mother got it for me”.
When we reached the school, everyone was waiting for us. I was glad to see my friends, but my feet was killing me.
After the morning assembly, Mrs. Mathew saw me dragging my feet on the ground. She called me to approach her.
“Nina, your shoes are small for you, tell your mother to buy you a bigger shoes”
I nodded my head.
During lunch break, I didn’t want to go and wash my hands. Because I couldn’t walk.
“What did you bring for lunch? Alice asked me
“Rice and meat curry” I told her
“I brought Biriyani”. Alice told me.
I nodded my head. I know she didn’t bring biriyani. It is rice cooked with turmeric to make it yellow and appear like biriyani. There is no meat in her biriyani. Just yellow rice.
“Do you want to share some of my curry?” I asked her
“No, I will eat my biriyani”. She told me
“Your biriyani will taste better with a bit of the meat curry and I took some of my curry and placed in her lunch box”
After finishing the meat curry, she looked at my lunch box and I asked her
“Do you want some more?”
“No”, she shook her head
“I don’t feel like eating anymore, Alice will you help me to finish this?”
“Are you sure you don’t want anymore?” She asked me
I nodded my head. I didn’t eat my breakfast and I was hungry. At that moment, when my friend looked at my lunch box, I felt she could have my lunch. I filled my stomach with water.
“Nina. come let’s play hop scotch”. Alice asked me
“Not today, I have a head ache”. I replied
While all my classmates showed their new pencils and shoes to each other, I pretended to sleep.
That evening on the way home I couldn’t wear my shoes anymore. As I got off from the school bus, I removed my shoes. Only those who had to endure 8 hours of wearing a shoes that is 2 size smaller would know, how relieved the feet would be when you take the offending shoes off your feet.

Shools in Kerala reopens in the first week of June. The last week of may would certainly be a period of mini celebration. Parents and kids crowd around the shops buying school uniform, books,pencils etc for the new term.
The kids will be going from shop to shop collecting name labels. I collected my name labels from Jacob stores near the Kottayam post office. This time I got purple edge name labels, which the uncle at the shop told me is a rare one. I was waiting for the school tom reopen so I can show my friends my unique name labels.
Although most children get new items, I get nothing new. Because my growth is stunted, I get to wear the previous years uniform and my text books are all borrowed from our neighbour’s children who are older than me. I also got Maria’s old pencil case and Amma told me
“ofcourse it is an old pencil case, but no one in your class has seen it yet, so it is new for your friends”.
Amma was sitting at the dining table wrapping all the old books in new brown paper wrapper.
“Akkachi, make some maida(plain flour) glue”. Amma instructed.
I watched Akkachi mixing maida with water and cooking it on fire till it thickend. she placed the thickened mixture on a saucer and i took it to amma.
Amma already filled the name labels. I took each label, applied the maida glue at the back and stuck the name label on all the brown paper wrapped books.
While I was fixing the labels I remembered the shoes. Stanley Memorial school was implementing new dress code for students and it was decided at the last PTA meeting that beginning the new school year, on every monday all the students would wear black shoes. I was so excited to get a new black shoes.
I asked amma”when are we going to Corona shoe shop?”
“for what?” She asked me
“to buy the black shoes for me?”
“I already got you a pair of black shoes”
I was so excited to know I got new shoes. Amma must have bought it for me when I was in Chengannur.
“Show me, please show me”I pestered her
I followed amma to her room to see my new shoes and to try it on.
Amma took the shoes from under her bed, that is when I saw it. It was the dirtiest shoes I ever saw. The seams were coming off from the edges and there was hardly any soles left on the shoes.
I looked at the shoes and at my mother.
“I am not wearing this old shoes”.I told her
“Too bad”, she shrugged her shoulder,”don’t wear if you don’t want to, you are the one who is going to be punished for not wearing the shoes”.
Amma called Akkachi ” can you clean it and polish it for Nina”
Akkachi took the shoes from Amma’s hands and went to the kitchen.
I remembered the 5RS note Ammachi gave me and thought of going to the shop by myself and buy a new pair of shoes.
I wasn’t sure how much money I needed, so I went to the kitchen to find Akkachi.
“Akkachi, how much does a new pair of shoes cost?”
“must be about RS30.” she replied.
I showed her the money I have and asked”how much more do I need Akkachi?”
That is when Amma walked in to the kitchen
“Where did you get the 5RS from Nina?” She asked me
“Ammachi gave me”
“Give me the money” She told me
“No, this is my money, my grandmother gave me”.
“Children are not supposed to play with money”. She snatched the money from my hand.

Name labels
In the 70’s most children in Kerala had collections of name labels. something similar to the one in the picture, but not sticker type.The label will hv four lines, name, standarad,subject and school. And the parent with a better handwriting, in my case my mother, would fill it up neatly and stick each label on the books.
http://www.horchow.com/products/mf/HCS0158_mf.jpg

The monsoon arrives in Kerala with all the pomp and vigour, like a majestic king returns to visit his subjects after a long time. The parched land and the shrivelled trees wait anxiously for the rain, but it is the dried leaves on the floor that gives the king the royal welcome by dancing and swaying in the wind. They jump and down and flip around in happiness knowing very well that their happiness is short lived and that in few days they would be returned to mother earth.
The first rain also gives that special smell, so unique that you never get anywhere else. Ammachi and I sat on the parapet wall to watch the rain. She taught me to sing the monsoon song

mazha varunnu,
madhalam kottunnu
kochu sarmmakku
thooran muttunnu
vadi edukkadi
koda edukkadi
namuukku randinum
thooran povam

Like every child in Kerala, I started to sing at the top of my voice. After the enduring the summer heat, the monsoon rain liberates your mind and your soul. While I was happy that it is raining I also knew, monsoon not only brings rain and thunder and fish in the creek, but also my father to fetch me back home. I didn’t want to go back home.
Appa came on a saturday. I packed my clothes and my green bangles in to my bag. Ammachi came to the room and hugged me. I hoped she would tell me not to go, that I could go to the school near Chengannur house, where Ammalu gets free lunch every wednesday.
Ammachi opened her cupboard, took a 5RS note from under her clothes pile and gave it to me.
“Buy what ever you want Nina” She said.
Ammachi and Appa discussed IR 8 crop and I didn’t understand what it was all about. I went to the cattle shed to say my goodbye to Manikutty and Karambi. I pulled out some hay for them from the haystack and placed in the tray.
When I went to the kitchen Chakki gave me a small biscuit tin
“What is inside Chakki?”
“something for you”
I tried to pry the lid open, I couldn’t. Chakki used the end of knife and wedged the lid open. I looked inside and saw, Jackfruit chips. Fried strips of raw jackfruit.
I hugged Chakki and she kissed me on my cheeks
“be a good girl and come back soon Kochumaharani”.
“hmm “I nodded while munching the delicious chips.
“Nina, hurry up, we will miss the bus”. My father was getting agitated. I quickly said my bye to Ammachi. My father took the bag from my hand and started to walk. I followed him, holding the biscuit tin in my hand. As I reached the main road I turned to look back. I could spot the thatched roof. I couldn’t see my grandmother. But I knew she would be sitting on the parapet wall, looking at the bund, waiting for me to come back again.

Some pictures of Kerala I found on the net
http://www.gtscsociety.com/pages/kerala.asp


IR8
Since 1966, when IRRI(internationa rice research institute) first released its IR8 variety, world paddy production has nearly doubled from 261 million tonnes to 519 million tonnes.(source:http://www.fao.org/Wairdocs/TAC/X5814E/x5814e08.htm )

When I woke up, the workers were already busy threshing the grains. I went outside to watch the process. One of the women was holding a makeshift stand and using her leg to separate the grain from the straw. I looked at her feet. There was no blood. Ammachi was standing there and guiding them
“Ammachi, doesn’t stepping on the grain hurt her leg?” I pointed the worker to Ammachi
“No, Nina, she is used to it”. Ammachi responded
Other women were busy winnowing using the air current. It was amazing to see the grain and chaff separating. The men were busy spreading the stalks on the ground to dry.
Every now and then Chakki would bring spiced buttermilk and everyone takes a break.
Ammachi was busy meassuring the grain.
“How many para (traditional rice meassure) of grain are we going to get this time?” I asked Ammachi
“About 200”.

When the threshing and winnowing was finally over, all the workers stood in a line infront of the doorstep. Ammachi sat on her chair and started distributing the wage. One para (rice meassure) of grain for each worker. Ammalu’s father came in the nick of time to collect his daughter’s wage. He was reeking of toddy. He couldn’t even walk straight. I was sure Ammachi isn’t going to pay this drunkard any grains. But she did.
After he left, I asked Ammachi “why did you pay him? He didn’t do any work”
“What is Caiser’s is for Caiser”. She replied. I didn’t know who Caiser was and I was angry with my grandmother for paying a man, his daughter’s wage, knowing very well that he is heading for the toddy shop. Not only that he sold his daughter and she was my friend.
I went to the kitchen feeling disgusted.
I could hear drum beats in the distant and it was coming closer and closer. I ran to the main door to see what is happening.
“What is going on Ammachi? I asked my grandmother
“Oh, it must be Shankaran”
“What? Who is Shankaran and why is he banging the drum?”
For a second I thought Ammachi got the kathakali dancers to come to our house and torture me with another long session.
By now all the kids in the neighbourhood has come together and they were all marching in a procession to our house.
I walked out of the house to see who is this Shankaran.
That is when I saw Shankaran. He was coming towards me. I ran back to the house as fast as I could.
Ammachi and Chakki were standing at the door step. I tried to hide behind Chakki. Shankaran stood majestically before my grandmother.
“Shankara, you have grown much bigger than I thought”. Ammachi spoke to Shankaran. She gave him a piece of jaggery and he took it from her hand, using his trunk. This was the first time I ever saw an elephant this close.
“Nina, give this to Shankaran”. She gave me a piece of jaggery.
“No way”. I held Chakki tight.
I looked up to see Shankaran’s tiny eye. How can such a giant animal have such a tiny eye? Then I noticed the tusk. It was long and menacing and I was not going to go anywhere near him.
That is when I noticed the mahout. He was looking at me and grinning and he had no teeth to show.
“mole (daughter) come here” he called me
I held Chakki even more tightly and Chakki started to walk towards the mahout. I started pulling Chakki back to the house and Chakki started pulling me towards the mahout.
Finally Chakki won and I found myself standing infront of the mahout.
“mole (daughter), give this jaggery to Shankaran and then walk between his legs”
I looked at the mahout as though he was speaking greek. ‘why would I want to walk between Shankaran’s legs, which by the way is the same size as our house pillar get myself killed’?
“Nina, if you walk between the elephant’s legs, you would never be afraid of anything” Spoke Chakki the prophet.
It is easy for her to say so, it is I who has to walk.
Ammachi came towards us. She was patting Shankaran’s body.
“Nina, you can do it”She told me
“What if Shankaran sit on top of me? I will be squashed like a pappadam”
“He won’t”
“How do you know?”
“I just know and little girls should do what the elders say and not ask too much question.
By then one of the neighbourhood boys, wearing only a pair of shorts that he was tugging every now and then because it was loose bravely walked between Shankaran’s legs and everyone clappped. He looked at me and called me a “pedichuthoory” (scary cat). I saw nice glistening rocks on the floor and for a moment imagined throwing one of the rock on his stupid face and knock the smile out.
‘I am Methran Thambi’s grand daughter, and no one dares to call me pedichuthoory(scary cat)’
I took a piece of jaggery, gave it to Shankaran. It felt ticklish when his trunk touched my hand. Shankaran used his trunk to pick the jaggery from my hand and placed it in his mouth. I prayed to parumala thirumeni (jacobite Saint) and made a quick dash between Shankaran’s legs. As I came out, I stuck my tongue out to the loose shorts boy.
“one day I will marry you and i will teach you a lesson”he replied
“That will be the day crows fly upside down”. I replied.
The toothless mahout came to me holding something in his hand
“This is for you”. He said
He gave me a hair from Shankaran’s tail. Winners trophy.

note: It is believed in my culture that if you wear a elephant tail hair set on a golden ring, it will protect you from all evil and your ancestors will guard you.

Para
http://www.webindia123.com/craft/state/kerala/images/para.jpg
Elephant
http://www.palmlandtours.net/kerala/tours/elephant/little_mahout.jpg

Chakki was already in the kitchen making breakfast and I walked sleepily in to the kitchen.
“Oh.Kochumaharani finally got up?” She asked me
“Go chakki, stop teasing me in the morning itself.
I opened the cupboard to get the umikari box ( Umikari.Charcoal made of paddy husk, which was used for cleaning teeth). Ammachi doesn’t believe in toothpaste and I am forced to use the umikari to clean my tooth. I took few pinches of the umikari and walked towards the well. Using my thumb and index finger I tried to brush my teeth with the umikari. I tried to see where Ammachi was and through the dense foliage of tapioca and yam. I couldn’t see her.
After brushing and rinsing my mouth many times to remove the burned husk from my mouth I walked back to the kitchen.
“Chakki, where is Ammachi?”
“She is checking the pineapple fence.” Chakki replied.
In Malaysia, people use barbed wire for fence, in our house Ammachi uses rows of pineapple plants as a fence. The leaves are so sharp and spiny, even the neighbourhood cats don’t dare enter our land.
“Thangammo, I am hungry”. I stood on the kitchen door step, cupped my hand and yelled. hoping she would hear me and come and eat breakfast. Besides I didn’t want to waste a chance to call my grandmother her real name.
“Who is calling me Thangamma?”I heard her asking
Chakki was already looking at me and laughing
“It is Methran Thambi’s grand daughter” I replied
“Has she grown that much to call me by my name?”
” Why don’t you come and see?” I yelled again.
I sat on the bench and waited for her to come. Chakki made dosai and coconut chutney for breakfast.
Ammachi walked in carrying a stick and a huge jackfruit.
“edi Chakki, did you hear someone calling my name?”
“I think it was Methran Thambi’s granddaughter who called you Ammachi” Chakki responded.
“What are we going to do with this Ammachi”I asked pointing my fingers at the jackfruit. I needed to change the subject quickly
“We will make chakka puzhukku (boiled spiced jackfruit) and fried butt for lunch today”.
“No you won’t”, I walked to her and gave her a hug.
“edi Chakki, did you get what I asked you to buy yesterday” Ammachi asked Chakki
Chakki took a newspaper wrapped parcel and gave to Ammachi.
Ammachi took it from Chakki and gave it to me without saying anything.
I quickly opened and found inside 2 sets of beautiful dark green colour glass bangles with golden spots. I was so happy.
I took them out and counted, there were 24 bangles. I could wear a dozen on each hand and they would jingle when I moved my hands.
I thought about Ammalu and how much she wanted bangles. may be I could share half of my bangles with Ammalu. But I knew my mother would never buy me bangles and Ammachi probably would never buy again either. I convinced myself it is Ammalu’s parents who should buy her the bangles, not my grandmother. May be I would hide it till the harvest is over. Then I don’t have to tell Ammalu and then share.
I quickly ate my breakfast and went to Ammachi’s room and hid my bangles in the cupboard under all the clothes.
When I went to the fields, workers were already clearing the last stacks of hay. I looked for Ammalu. She wasn’t there.
I asked the woman who was carrying the hay stack to the store
“chettathi (sister) where is Ammalu?
“Oh, she won’t be coming again”.
“Why?”
“She went to Madras” chettathi (sister) replied
“Why did she go to Madras”
“her father sold her to the pandi, who wanted to employ her in his firecracker factory”

I got something similar to this green glass bangles.
http://www.fashionvisionboutique.com/pcat-gifs/products-small/Copy-of-glassbangle2.jpg

“What are you scared of Nina?” Ammachi asked me.
I thought about all the things I am scared of.
“Goddess Kali. I am terrified of her”. I replied
“Why”. She asked
” She has too many hands. She kills people. she decorates her body with the skulls of people she killed and her tongue is dripping with blood. She is too scary”
“Where did you see Kali, Nina?” She asked me
“I saw her picture in the calender Amma got free from the shop”.
“Do you know who is Kalidasa?”
“No” I answered.
Come let us go sit in the veranda and I will tell you the story.
“Ammachi, do we really have to sit in the veranda? There are plenty of mosquitoes there!” I tried to convince her to sit in the kitchen.
“I thought, you were Methran Thambi’s grand daughter”. She replied
“I am, who said I am not?”
“Well, Methran Thambi’s grand daughter wouldn’t be afraid of the dark”
“What about the congress party men who came this morning?” I asked her
“I am sure they are not Methran Thambi’s grand children” She replied.
“Go Ammachi, you always make fun of me.”
Ammachi took the hurricane lamp from the kitchen and walked to the veranda and I grudgingly followed her, looking around to make sure there are no snakes and congress party supporters waiting to pounce on us are around.
She hung the lamp on the hook and sat on the parapet wall. She stretched her legs and there was no place for me to sit. I didn’t want to sit on the floor alone.
“Can I sit on your lap?”
“Oh Nina, why are you such a scary cat? Come and sit”.
I sat on her lap and rested my head on her chest. Sitting like that I could scan the whole area and can spot , if anyone is walking towards us. I looked for the sickle. It is still in the same place where Ammachi keeps it.
“Kalidasa was a stupid man”, Ammachi started the story.
“He was so stupid, once he sat on a tree and cut the branch that he was sitting. padukko, he and the branch fell to the ground. The royal court wise men were passing through that area when they saw Kalidasa falling down along with the branch. They were looking for the stupidest guy on earth as a groom for the princess”
“Why do they want to marry the princess to a stupid guy?” I asked Ammachi
” Because the princess thought, she is the most intelligent woman on planet earth and was mocking all the wise men”
“How did they get the princess to marry Kalidasa?”
“They told her, he is the wisest man on earth, but is now taking a silent vow and can only speak with gestures. Whenever the princess asked Kalidasa questions, he would use gestures and the wisemen would translate. The princess believed them and thought kalidasa was indeed the most intelligent man on earth and married him”
“Then what happend?” I asked her
“The intelligent princess found out on the first night itself, she married the world’s greatest idiot and threw Kalidasa out of the palace”.
“Then what happend?”
“Kalidasa was upset, he started to walk and sometime later he saw a small temple. It was a temple for Goddess Kali. She had gone for her bath and Kalidasa went inside and locked the door”
“When the Goddess Kali returned, the temple door was locked and she knocked on the door and asked
“Who is inside?”
“Kalidasa from inside asked’who is outside’?”
“I am Kali” the goddess replied
“I am kalidasa( kali’s worshipper)” he replied.
“Kalidasa told the goddess, the only way he would come out, is if the Goddess makes him intelligent and the Goddess granted his wish and he became intelligent”
” Ammachi, if I pray to Goddess Kali, would she make me intelligent?” I asked her.
“She won’t”
“Why not?”
“Because, she can’t make intelligent people more intelligent”
It was reassuring knowing my grandmother thinks I am not stupid.
Goddess Kali
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/features/thugs/kali.jpg