best bakery

“There is no point in living like this, we should all die”. Spoke Maria
First of all I was in a bad mood, especially after all the helium in my balloon was lost in an instant.
My wonderful father has not only vanished, but also wiped the bank account clean. My ignorant, ever trusting mother had signed a cheque and given it to him, so he could withdraw the money, in case anything ever happend to her.
My world was collapsing and the best suggestion my sister could come up with was to ‘die’.
“If you don’t shut up, I will personally kill you.” I told her. I know I should respect my oldest sister, but at that moment, if she said another word, I wouldn’t have so much worried about respect.
“Nina, What will happen if we don’t have any food to eat, would we die?” Liza finally spoke
I looked at her. She was leaning on the main door frame. She is doing what I always do. She is standing there close to the front yard, so she can bolt out and escape to the safety of the front yard, if I get angry.
“Who said, we have no food?”
“Didn’t Appa take all the money? How are we going to buy any food?”
“Come here” I told her
She didn’t budge.
“Liza, Come here, I won’t hit you. I promise.”
She walked slowly towards me. I held her hands and looked at her
I wasn’t sure what to tell her.
“Amma has a job, so we will have enough money to buy food. You don’t worry about all these things.”
“Who will drop us to school?”
“I will”. I told her
“have you fiinished all your homework?” I asked her
“Yes”
“Go to bed early, so we can leave early. I will drop you and Sally to your school before I go to my school.”
“Will you also fetch us?”
“hum” I nodded
“Will you buy us the cream bun from Best bakery like Appa used to buy?”
My mother never honored her promises and I always promised myself I would honour my promises. I desperately wanted to tell my precious younger sister,’yes I will’ and I knew there is no way I can do that.
“we will see, ok. May be not tomorrow. But one day I promise I will buy.”

I laid down on my father’s easy chair. I probably occupied 1/2 of the chair and full of the burden. I analysied all my options. Then it occured to me I didn’t have much options. When we came back from Malaysia, Ammachi made it clear that, we can’t stay in Chengannur house. Mother-in law and daughter-in law never really got along. Amma refused to help in the farm and Ammachi refused to let us stay there. She isn’t going to let us stay there now. Maria has to go to college. There was no one to turn to. May be dying was not a bad option.

18 thoughts on “best bakery

  1. I probably occupied 1/2 of the chair and full of the burden

    That was such a telling line. Relationships are like threads, some withstand the tugs and pulls of life while some snap under the pressure. It is the quality of the thread that counts.
    I see two key people here, you and your Ammachi ….
    I am like a kid nowadays, waiting for the next episode of the story. And it is such a delight to see you have posted! 🙂

  2. Sarah,
    Your courage and strongheadedness is an inspiration..
    It is remarkable how those that you love are the ones who hurt you deeply. I guess we all learn this from the school of life sooner or later.
    But you overcame it all, and that’s all that matters now, isnt it?
    It does take a lot of courage to write things such as these that are close to your heart..my hope is that you find solace and renewed strength in doing so…
    Blessings

  3. Incidentally, best Bakery is still very much in existence and they have an outlet near the Collectorate too:-)
    Sarah, you grew up really fast. Maybe you can give yourself permission to let your hair down now, once in a while?

  4. i hadn’t been following your blog for a week or two and suddenly there has been a huge twist in the tale. i really don’t know what to say.

  5. laid down on my father’s easy chair. I probably occupied 1/2 of the chair and full of the burden. so true so young and still had to shoulder the responsibilities.I cannot understand how one just gets up and leaves.Sarah you are strong.I dont know what I would have done if I was in your place.You had to be strong for your younger sister also.

  6. man.. you are pretty strong even at that age.. most of them might have scumbed by the way things were going!!. amma.. job that was a nice idea!!..

  7. i was pretty busy the last few days and read the last few posts today. mam, hats off to ur perseverance which is unexpected of a child of ur age that time. i wud love to say that the story which is being told in this blog has taken a definite turn but doubt whether i shud say that considering the fact that this is not just a story but a real life story!! i am kind of speechless here!

  8. Sarah – I love reading your stories … and respect you highly for the strength and perseverence you proved at that young age already! Say .. did you ever think of getting all these stories together and make a book out of them? I am sure there are PLENTY of people who would LOVE to read it!

  9. sarah, this is all so amazing…i missed the last 4 posts on account of travelling and it felt real sad reading this…u have certainly been thru a lot…once again i repeat, i sincerely hope u wud show enuf perseverance to get ur story published as a book like u have done when u were troubled by everything that happened in ur family.

  10. hmmm tat was a very big day and a decisive one for all of you.
    that’s when we just let the matter flow and go along with our life no matter what,taking it in our stride….
    you also know how brave you are only in such circumstances.
    so you were always a clear thinker,i say.

  11. Silverine: there was only two of us in this story.Ammachi and I.both lived for their family snd forgot to live for themselves.. thanks for all the time you said the right words..

    Cynthia: sometimes I wonder if it was all worth..

    Jac:thanks

    Q8techdrive: I remember the appachan with one gold filled tooth and a huge grin to show everyone his golden tooth.

    Suemamma:I am trying.. I need to unload the burdens life placed on my shoulders

    mathew: u don’t hv to say anything..

    Starrynights: My father always did it.. just when you need him the most, he walks out… then walks in when everything is settled down.

    Sujit: Amma was working then..but her salary wasn’t enough to pay for food, fees, rent and akkachi’s salary

    Jithu: there are times i myself wonder, how did I survive all these..

    I love Munich: this was my way to unload my burdens.. I cannot go back home and eventually you will know why, but I wanted to travel atleast in my memory..

    Geetha: they were too young to understand exactly what was going on.. One time we were very rich, Appa worked for the British govt in Malaysia.. we had a house and plenty of Amah’s and all the luxuries.. and they didn’t really know what poverty was.. They wanted to eat cream bun… like the custrad filled bun we get in Malaysia, but filled with cream. Liza was 2 years younger and sally was abt 5 yrs younger.

    Dew drops: beleive me.. many a times I dreamed I woke up from the nightmare..and all these were dreams

    Jiby: I will

    maya: now you know I am one tough nut eh!!

    Popphabhi:ah.. u encourage me to write!!

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