I come from a family that still practices some sort of Ayitham (?Untouchability)
The workers/maids/servants etc that work for members of my family still have their own plates and cups and are not allowed to use the family utensils. Their clothes are washed separately. They will be lucky if they are given a room..( often they sleep on a mat in the kitchen floor)
I have often wondered if untouchabilty is not a kind of racism? Otherwise why would it matter that the people who work for you must use a separate set of dishes? Aren’t they human?
As a child, that too a child from the upper class ( with royal family connection to boot), I never faced any sort ayitham..I followed the ayitham rules to the T..Don’t share your water bottle with others, don’t share the food, don’t play with the kids who are from lower casts. walk with your head held high..etc etc.
So it was a big shock when I was called a Madrasi by a Bihari senior at the medical college during ragging. I was so angry, My blood was boiling. How dare someone call me a Madrasi, when I am a Malayalee?( remember I was 17 yrs old then and my world knowledge and exposure was a bit limited)
But eventually the anger fizzed out. Basically there was no point trying to explain to someone that skin colour isn’t what makes one a better/worst person.
I was busy reading books.So I ignored the taunts. ( dating a north indian guy helped as well, for I was considered one of them!)
The next time I faced racism was in England.
It was a very cold winter afternoon. I was busy reading my book and missed my tram stop. So I had to walk few blocks back to my apt. ( so obviously I was in a bad mood) and this dude came and stood right in front of me and told me ” hey paki, go back to your country” I don’t think he was expecting a lecture about where Pakistan is..but he did. ( By the way, I probably would have been more cautious if he told me that today and would have walked away rather than scream at him and tell him to learn geography first before coming and insulting me)
I was called a kling couple of times in Malaysia. The first time I was with my younger sister and the guy who called us Kling ended up apologizing ( the fact that my sister was holding him by the shirt collar may have helped)
Nevertheless, you tend to ignore it after a while..
Life in Canada was a bliss..No one ever said anything to make me feel inferior..
I was a bit concerned moving to Australia.
I taught my children that they are not above or below anyone and nobody has the right to call them names.
I live in an area where I am yet to meet another Indian. But no one called me names.
Few months ago, I was driving through a construction zone ( 40k) and being the good girl that I am, I followed the speed limit. ( I am only one offence away from getting my license suspended for a good 6 months is also an added incentive to be a good girl!!) This lady driving a ute was rather agitated with the fact that I was going slow. She flashed her lights few times. But Alas,I have no intention of taking public transport for 6 months. Finally when the road became two lane, she over took me, rolled down the windows and asked me, “where did you get your license from?”
I being the smart girl that I am, asked her back ” What makes you think I have one?”
You should have seen her face.. but that was the only time anyone tried to bully me here.
So all was good..so I thought.
yesterday I picked the kids from school. My son was not looking very happy.
perhaps it was the weather, I thought ( It is getting a bit hot and my kids don’t like summer much)
I had made bubble tea for them. But that didn’t seem to improve his moods.
I wanted to ask him is everything alright?
But knowing him, I thought I would leave him alone for little while and see if he would come and tell me what is bothering him.
(Besides, I just got a copy of Rushdie’s Haroun and the sea of stories and wanted to read it)
I went to my room to read my book and few minutes later my son came to my room.
He had tears in his eyes and he told me
“Mom, someone called me a Nigger at school today”
I was shocked. It was unbelievable..
It affected my son, because he knew the word is extremely derogatory in N.America.
I hugged him and told him that I understood how it feels when someone calls you names.
I explained to him why some people have dark skin and the benefits of having dark skin.. ( No need to wear sun screen !!!!!)
I told him about the dude who had an unexpected lesson in geography. ( Mom what if he had a knife, my son asked me, well I wouldn’t be here to tell you the story then, I told him)
Apparently, my son has been told to get off the barbecue ( ie he is dark skinned because he was burned!) called a mud pud ( pudding) and his classmates were joking that when God created people he burned some of them..
I told my son, yup it is true.. God indeed burned some of them..but then he felt rather sorry and took the brain from the unburned ones and put it in the burned ones to compensate!!
My son was laughing..
I have informed the school authorities and they have taken appropriate action..
I am writing this..to ask each of you..how prejudiced are you?? What will you do when someone calls your child a name?
My feelings about racism is pretty much like you have stated. Everyone unites when they are threatened and insult one another otherwise. For example, the English looking down at the French, Germans and the enmity with the French. Even though, they are all 'white people' to the rest of the world. Even in the same caste, there is discrimination against darker skin pigmentation. But skin color wise, even those of the same community discriminate.
So I always treat everything with an air of indifference. People in my community often look down at everyone below (and pretty much everyone in the Hindu section including Brahmins are treated below…), but I can only smirk inside and think 'but you people were slaves to the English for how many centuries?'. I would probably just try to explain to my child, as best as possible, that this problem is wider and even the people he gets taunts from somewhere else.
A Malaysian friend once stated that 'England shipped all its criminals to Australia'. They are all descendants of criminals.:-) I was shocked to hear this…(don't know much about Aussie.).
– kajan
Unfortunately growing up in Melbourne I still faced the same kinda things – I had kids rub at my face to see if the 'mud' would come off, I was called names like 'currymuncher' and excluded on the basis that I was different.
It seems like not much has changed.
As I grew up, I realised that it was ignorance and as I beat them time and time again due to my other talents and my brain it just didn't matter. Your kid is smart. He'll get much further than these kids who have most likely either are giving into peer pressure to bully him or their parents set that kind of attitude. Both those excuses shouldn't be tolerated and you did the right thing.
My little brother is just 16 now and when he was little he faced the same but it has ceased now that he has practically grown up with his classmates. It also helps that he isn't the only Indian kid in his class, which might be the reason they are targeting him.
It's ignorance as you can see that in the Nigger comment.
Btw – yes, most 'white' Aussies are descended from criminals but you need to remember most of them were shipped here to Aus on the crime of stealing bread or some other petty incident. Others came to Australia when it started becoming a successful economy and not just the English (eg. The Chinese who came when we had the Gold Rush).
My son .here in london hasnt yet got such blatant racism…hes only 5 ..so its early days yet…but there are little white girls in his class who refuse to hold his hands..I have asked him to enquire the reason why they dont hold his hands..and if the answer is due to his skin colour i will take it to the authoroties..but i have noticed indians here having a racist attitude towards everyone…whites blacks south in dians to north indiians and vice versa…Basically Indians are a very racist lot in my observation…And as for your son getting bullied ,if it was my son,being the firebrand tht i am ,I would ask his friends to check out the jail his grand parents were in:-)
that is really sad, even in India this happens when people are called 'madrasis' and all sorts of names if they have dark skin , and yes nobody has any idea about geography and it is futile to even try teaching them.
Hi Sarah,
Thanks for sharing.
My daughter starts school next year. She will be the only Indian in the class/school.Hmm