It is true that I can remember most of what I read. I can also see the pictures and diagrams in the text book even weeks/years after seeing it. So technically I didn’t really have to study to pass the exam.
But that wasn’t true.
I hated the feeling of not understanding something I read, which forces me to read more books so I can have a better understanding.
Certainly a valuable skill that makes a good student
But it is not a valuable skill when you only have three weeks to study. Three weeks is not enough to read papa Robbins (Robbins came in two versions, Original ie Papa Robbins and Abridged ie Baby Robbins).
During the next three weeks there is also our college Christmas Party to worry about. it is not that I participate in any programs, but who can study when everyone is out celebrating?

I contemplated buying Baby Robbins. But my ego was not something I liked to mess with, even when there is a chance that I would be writing Patho part 1 in six months time and will be saying goodbye to All India PG entrance exams.

I hate myself. I spoke.
My voice boomed in the room. I looked at Aparna and then at Shylaja. I didn’t want them to curse me for not letting them sleep peacefully. First of all they are annoyed with me for not turning of the light, I didn’t want to make it worst.
Fortunately they didn’t hear me.
I looked at the clock. 3.45 Am.
I looked at the notes in my hands. I turned the pages to see how many more pages I needed to read to finish studying the notes Ramesh gave me. There were so many pages..so so so so many pages.
When am I ever going to finish this?
I didn’t know.
I didn’t want to know.
Disgusted with myself, I got up and turned off the light.
As I closed my eyes I promised myself. I will never leave anything to the last minute. I will never do this to myself again! I promise. If I break my promise, I will change my name to something else.
I couldn’t think of a name I didn’t like. Then I remembered I am supposed to be sleeping not thinking about names I don’t like.
I just couldn’t sleep.
I had to sleep. I had to attend clinics in less than 5 hours time.
Human body needs at least 8 hours of sleep.
5 hours is not enough.
Sleep Nina. I scolded myself.
My room was absolutely quiet and dark. My eyes were closed. My body was tired. But my brain was acting as though it was in the middle of a thunderstorm. So many images were coming to my mind. I could see Ramesh grinning. I could see Arjun’s eyes fuming. I could see Dr. Bhatti drinking sambar.
I remembered reading somewhere
“Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase, the more it eludes you.” Whoever wrote it perhaps had no idea that it is not happiness that is like a butterfly. it is sleep!

“Hey, are you going for the rounds?” Aparna shook my leg.
I got up and looked at the clock. 7.45Am. I must have been knocked out, I didn’t even hear MS singing Suprabatham.
Too late to get ready for clinics. Besides I needed to hand over the med cert and meet Dr. Murthy.
“Nah” I replied
“Ok, do you want me to lock the door?”
“Nah. don’t bother”
“are you sure?” Aparna looked at me to see if I was serious. Didn’t I get in to big trouble for bunking yesterday?
” I need to go to the mess. I will get Gangamma to lock the door afterwards”
“Ok. Bye” Aparna left the room.
I looked for Shylaja. She wasn’t in the room. Must have gone to the mess without even bothering to wake me up.
I closed my eyes hoping to sleep for a little while longer. Anyway Princy won’t be in the office before 9.30.