Those three magical words!

Sunday morning I set the alarm and woke up at 7.45 am. I really didn’t want to get up, but I had some important work to do. I was supposed to meet Arjun at 8 am.
I looked at Aparna, she was fast asleep. She looked so peaceful, like a little baby.
I felt so jealous thinking of why her life is so peaceful and mine is so miserable? Both of us are equally intelligent, yet she got a great family, nice boy friend, good friends and I got nothing. I felt so bitter thinking that Life is just not fair.

I adjusted my pillow and lay down. I can still lay down for few more minutes! Anyway it doesn’t take me too long to get dressed. I was afraid to close my eyes, lest I fall asleep and miss the appointment with Arjun. I was so very tired. I closed my eyes, telling myslef that it is only for 5 seconds. I was certain that I won’t sleep off. How could I sleep off, when I am this awake? I wriggled my toes and moved my fingers just to make sure that I was indeed awake.
I heard someone shouting outside and was startled. I got up quickly and checked the clock. 8.10! Damn it, damn it, I am late. Arjun will start cursing now. I ran to my cup board and got my clothes. I was planning to wear a skirt and top. Then I remembered, I couldn’t sit on Arjun’s bike wearing a skirt. I searched for my jeans. I couldn’t find it. After few minutes of frantic searching, I remembered it was dirty and was in the laundry bag. Why didn’t I wash it yesterday? It would have been dry by this morning. It must have been the third time I swore since I got up.
I took my salwar out. It was creased beyond imagination. I normally iron all the clothes on a Sunday evening. There was no way I could wear it without ironing. Why do people make materials that require ironing?
I switched on the iron and kept it on my bed. May be I will quickly go and brush my teeth, while the iron is getting hot. I took my brush and ran to the washroom. Fortunately no one was in the washroom because no one was awake!
I brushed quickly and washed my face and ran back to my room. Even before I opened the door, I could smell something burning. I remembered the iron. I pushed the door open. The stupid iron had fallen to the side and was burning my bed sheet. Which idiot would leave an iron on a unstable mattress? I couldn’t stop swearing.

I didn’t have time to waste, so I ignored the burned bed sheet. I switched off the iron, so it won’t get any more hot. I laid my baby pink cotton salwar neatly on the bed. I checked the iron temperature first to make sure it won’t burn my salwar. It was not too hot. I knew it wouldn’t burn my cotton salwar. I was already having a bad day and I didn’t want to suffer any more. I started to iron the sleeves and I noticed some black colour thing on my salwar. What is that? I tried to remove it. It didn’t go. Did I not wash my salwar properly? But I knew I washed it well. May be it was from the clothes line. I ironed again and this time more black thing was seen on the sleeves. I tried to remove it, it was something burned. But my salwar didn’t look burned. The iron! I checked the iron, it still had some burned remnants of my bed sheet. I was so mad, I crumpled the salwar and threw it to the corner. I checked the clock. 8.17 Am.
I didn’t have time to clean the iron, so I kept it under my bed. I took the jeans out of the laundry bag and wore it. I should have just worn it the first time instead of wasting time and trying to iron the clothes. Then I remembered the burned bed sheet. I didn’t want anyone to see it and laugh at me. I folded my blanket and kept it on top of the damaged area, so no one will see it. I walked out quickly. I was half way through when I remembered I didn’t take my jacket. Arjun rides his bike like a maniac high on cannabis! and sitting as a pillion rider without a jacket while he rides would be akin to self flagellation. I ran back to my room, grabbed my jacket and ran back to the canteen. Arjun was standing near the door.
“I am sorry Arjun, I slept off, I am so sorry to keep you waiting” I apologised sincerely
“Do you know why my parents bought me a bike? Because they know, there is no chance in hell that I would wake up to catch the college bus in the morning. They bought me a bike, So I can sleep till 8.45 and still be at the hospital by 9am. I have never seen 8 am in my life and today I made sure I woke up at 7.45am, because you wanted to go to church” He was yelling at me and I looked around. There were few seniors sitting inside the canteen and smoking and they were looking at us. To make matters worst, I saw Beautiful eyes leaning across the table and looking at me to see what is going on. Damn it, I didn’t want him to witness our quarrel.
“I am sorry Arjun.” I turned to walk off. To hell with Arjun, to hell with Maria, to hell with Amma, to hell with George, to hell with everyone. I had enough of everyone.
“Nina wait” I heard him calling after me. I didn’t bother to turn back and look at him. He can go to hell for all I care. I knew I was wrong, I made him wait, but I apologised. There was no need to yell at me. I could hear Arjun cussing and any way from the time I woke up till now everything was going wrong, so his cussing didn’t bother me much. But still a part of me hoped even wished people won’t call me a bitch when I am not one. But that is my destiny.
By the time I reached the hostel, I saw few tamilian students walking quickly to the mess.
Oh yes, today is Dosai day! the only time they make dosai at the mess. I have heard gossip that If you are early and butter the cook sufficiently in tamil, then he will make oothappam for you. I haven’t had oothappam for such a long time. I walked to the mess. The cook was busy making dosai. I watched the girls talking to him in tamil and flirting. He was smiling and laughing and ordered his side kick to cut the onions. Some of the girls kept glancing sideways and looking at me, as though I invaded their territory. They spoke to each other in tamil and I understood they were bitching about me.
I didn’t understand what their problem was? First of all they don’t spend any money to get the oothappam. The onion and the chillies used to make the oothappam is from the mess supply. Secondly what is the big deal? Why are people so jealous?
When it was my turn to get the dosai, I spoke in fluent tamil and asked for oothappam.
The cook was stunned, the girls were stunned and my day was getting better
“Madam, you Malayalee no?” Cook asked
“Me malayalee yes” I nodded my head
“But you speak very good tamil
“Yes me speak” I nodded
“How?”
“Just like that” I smiled and shrugged my shoulders
“Oh” He nodded his head as though he understood
hmmm” I agreed.
There is nothing that can be equal to a hot oothappam.Fluffy base with crispy onion and green chilli mix on the top. The chilli was hot and I drank plenty of water. Still it was the best breakfast.
I ckecked my watch, it was almost 9am. It was a spontaneous decision. I checked my wallet. I had enough money. I walked out of the mess and started to walk towards the main gate. I hoped Arjun won’t be at the canteen. I didn’t want to see or talk to him.
I signed my name on the register
“Where to?” Asked the security guard.
“Church”
“which one?” He asked me
Now why does he need to know that? I was pretty sure that was a very odd question.
“Any one” I answered back
“Huh?” He was taken aback.
“I haven’t decided which church I am attending today, Do you have any problem?” I raised my voice.”Is there a rule saying that I can only go to a particular church?”
“No, it is not like that” He was trying to act all innocent
“I will go to any church that I want to go, it is none of your business. Do you understand that? ” I screamed at him.
“Yes madam” He mumbled
I walked out, something made me turn around, I watched the guard writing something on a piece of paper and checking his watch and writing the time.
I knew how George was getting the information and that also meant I will have to tell Arjun to be careful. He was already friends with the evening security and it won’t take too long before George finds out more about Nina and the Dhaba food!
There were autos at the stand, but I wanted the guard to tell George where I went. I waited for the bus and got in to the one that was going to Shivaji nagar bus station. I saw the guard looking at me and I knew soon George will know where I was going.
I got off the first stop and took an auto to St. Mark’s church on MG Road. I knew George was a memeber of St. Marks church. He enjoyed the attention he was getting from all the Malayalees at the church. He thrived on being famous and popular. By the time I reached the church, the service was over.
There were only few people standing here and there. Couple of kids were playing hide and seek in the church compound. I walked inside. It was so peaceful. The interiors of the church brought a flood of nostalgic memories. Wooden benches, pulpit, red carpet on the altar floor, it all reminded me of the CSI church in Kottayam. Once again I wished I was a little girl, singing in the choir and playing the organ. I looked around the church. The walls had few brass plates with some inscription on it. Normally I would never waste a chance to read about the past and learn more about the history of the building. But today I had something that was more important to do. I noticed an elderly man walking in to the church.
“Hello uncle, can I ask you for a favour?”
“Sure” he smiled
“I am trying to look for my sister’s good friend. My sister lost all her contact and desperately wants to find her classmate. She gave birth to a baby girl and wants her friend to be the god mother”
“Oh that is wonderful. When did your sister give birth?”
“last month. She won’t let anyone else be the God mother. She is so fuzzy!!!!” I shook my head sadly.
“What is her friend’s name?”
“Maria. She is tall, a bit dark, did engineering at the IIT. She is originally from Kerala
“No one comes to my mind. Has she got curly hair?”
“No straight hair”
Then I remembered, I wouldn’t really know if my sister had permed her hair, I had not seen her for so long. I had no choice but to use my ace card
“Apparently she is related to one Mr. George, you know the one who is in the civil service?”
“Oh yes George, I know him. Wonderful man! He got 2 kids, a boy and girl. The girl is doing medicine, Right?”
“I don’t know anything about him” I replied. I knew this was all a mistake. What chance is that George would bring my sister to the same church he was attending. But my instinct told me, he wouldn’t want anyone to suspect anything and he would bring my sister to the same church. May be I was wrong.
“Come with me, We will talk to the priest. He will certainly know” I didn’t want to meet the priest, but the old man was already walking outside to where the priest was standing and talking to someone else.
The old man interrupted the priest and told him about me
“Hi, I am Father Stephens”
“Hello Father, I am Annie from Madras”
“You are looking for Mr. George?”
“No, his niece I think. Her name is Maria. She is my sister’s best friend. They studied at the IIT together. Maria came to Bangalore and they lost contact”
“Oh Maria, Oh yes I remember her. George did mention once about bringing his niece over to Bangalore. Apparently her father has abandoned them and George was taking care of Maria and her sisters. He is such a wonderful and caring man!”
I felt so mad when I heard all the lies George was spinning. he is taking care of us,? That is bull shit. This isn’t how you take care of your sister’s children. Is taking care of nieces involved in keeping them away from each other? Does it involve sending anonymous letters the day before University exams? But who would listen to me?
“I don’t know anything about them” I apologized. I felt miserable that I couldn’t fight for my father, that I couldn’t tell the priest the truth that my father hasn’t abandoned us and couldn’t tell him what exactly George was doing in the name of taking care.
“If I am not mistaken, I remember him telling me that he got a job for her at the KFS group”
KFS group?” I asked
“They have an office in Koramangala
“Oh Ok. I can find it. Thank you very much”
“If you want more information, I can ask George. He comes to the church regularly”
“No Thank you father I don’t want to bother Mr. Geroge with all this. I am sure I can find her myself. If I can’t, I will come back.”
“What did you say your name is?” The priest asked again.
“Annie”
“Oh ok
“Thank you uncle” I smiled at the old man and quickly walked off. I knew there was no point looking for the KFS group office on a sunday. I will have to find that on a weekday.
I had a whole day to do nothing. I needed some new shoes, may be some clothes. I hated shopping, but then again there was nothing much to do. From St. Mark’s I walked all the way to commercial street only to realize that most of the shops were closed. I was so mad. So mad at myself for not using my stupid brain! How could I forget that, no shops would open on Sunday? May be God was punishing me. I lied this morning. Not once…but so many times at the church. But I had no other choice. I needed to find my sister. I could hear and almost see Puthen vettil Methran Thamby’s wife pointing her index finger and speaking
” you lied, Do you know what is the punishment for lying?”
“What are you supposed to do after you lied?” I could hear her asking
“I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry Lord I lied. I won’t do it again.” I apologised to God.
I took an auto and went back to the hostel. As soon as I entered the room, Aparna asked
“Where did you go? Arjun was looking all over for you. He send this” She passed me an envelope
I opened the cover, Inside there was a beautiful pencil drawing of a smiling girl and at the bottom there were 3 words
I AM SORRY.

5 thoughts on “Those three magical words!

  1. Visithra: absolutely

    Crumbs: Nah.. ( you should have seen Amma’s face when she saw all the burned bed sheets!!!)

    Mallu: I agree..

    janmam: Sho…,,

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