“That bastard, he asked me the surface marking of subclavian artery! Can you believe it? Instead of all the arteries in the upper limb, he asked me to draw subclavian artetry. I didn’t know how to draw that. I think I will fail my practicals.”Shylaja started to cry
Shylaja was in the first group that had anatomy practicals. So everyone was eager to find out more details about the external examiners.
The external examiners hold the key to our success. Even if you pass the theory, if you failed in the practicals, you automatically failed the subject and have to rewrite both theory and practicals 6 months later.
To ensure that the practicals are conducted in the most fairest way, free from favouritism and bias , Bangalore University employs lectures from other colleges(often out of state) for practicals. Unfortunately, the external examiners know that they hold the ultimate power to make or break a medical students career. So instead of asking common questions, they harass students by asking totally irrelevant questions like what acid is in the eye, all in the pretext of checking how thorough the student is on the subject!
We already knew Dr. Radha is one of the examiners. She is known to fail any female student who doesn’t wear a saree.
So who is this new guy who wanted the surface marking of a tiny artery?
“Who is he?” I asked
“I don’t know. I think he is new, He was screaming at Shivakumar, because he didn’t draw the radial artery properly through the anatomical snuff box!
Oh No, Not Shivakumar. He is the top student in my class. He is the only student in my class who studies from Grey’s anatomy.(Most students only uses Grey’s anatomy for reference).
There is a rumour that, even when he sleeps he dreams of muscles and arteries. If he got yelled, what is going to be my fate?
Why did I choose to do medicine, of all the things on earth? I wondered if it is too late to go back to BCM college and do my degree in homescience. Then it occurred to me, there was a time, I desperately wanted to get out of BCM college. Now I wanted to go back there and study!! Ironies of life.
“What am I going to do?” Shylaja was still crying
“Nah, don’t worry. You will pass.” I spoke.

I studied the surface marking of every tiny artery. I revised and revised.. The thought that my entire life is in the hands of three strangers was the scariest part. On the day of my anatomy practicals, I wore my saree and tied my hair in a ponytail. So at least I wouldn’t fail the practicals because of my appearance. I heard someone knocking my door and shouting.
“Nina can you help me?
I opened the door quickly to find Namratha Kaul standing outside my room holding a saree.
“Nina, can you help me? I don’t know how to tie a saree“
“Come inside”
I felt sorry for Namratha. She is a Kashmiri and always wore salwars and now she is forced to wear a saree, just because one examiner thinks that all Indian women must wear saree!
I helped her to tie the saree and we walked together to the anatomy dissection hall. I knew in my heart that I am going to fail. I hated Anatomy. I couldn’t remember anything that I studied.
All I wanted was the ordeal to be over and I can go home.

When my number was called, i walked inside the hall. Dr. Radha was sitting in the first table. As I walked towards the table, she looked at me and nodded her head. A nod that said, hmm smart girl, all girls should be like you, wear a saree and the hair tied well.
I was very nervous. I couldn’t breath. I stood next to the table. The decorum of the practicals is that, you can’t sit, unless you have been told to. Dr. Radha nodded her head again and spoke
“Sit down”
I was just so glad to sit down. I was afraid that if I had to stand another minute, I might faint and fall down. I looked at her, waiting for her to start her questions.
“How many more students are outside?” She asked
For a second I was confused. What kind of a anatomy question is that? How many what? I looked at her. May be she saw the confused look on my face
“How many more students waiting outside for the practicals?”
“Oh. 3 more madam”
“Ok. Let us do this quick. Tell me the source of medial collateral artery”
I knew the answer” Deep brachial artery.”
“Good, very good” She spoke. She asked me few more questions and I knew the answers.
“You can go to the next cubicle for surface marking”
I was stunned. I was expecting her to eat my head. Her session of the practicals was over in less than 10 minutes.

I walked in to the next cubicle. There was a cadaver on the table. I looked around to see where the ‘devil’ was standing. He wasn’t standing. He was sitting at the desk in the far end of the cubicle. I wasn’t sure if I should stand next to the cadaver or walk to the place where he is sitting? Why is life so complicated?
While I contemplated my next move, I watched him getting up and walking towards me.
“Hi” He spoke
Hi? He said Hi. Does he know me? I looked at him, trying to see where and when have I seen him before. He must be about 35 years old. He wore a light blue stripped shirt and he was looking at me and smiling and I had no choice but to smile.
“What is your name?” He asked
“Nina”
“You have a beautiful smile”
“Thank you sir”
“Where do you stay?”
“In the hostel Sir”
“No, I mean, where is your home?”
“In Kerala sir”
“Oh. Malayalee ah?”
I nodded my head
“Do you know the surface marking of radial artery?”
“Yes sir” I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or if this is indeed my lucky day. I knew the surface marking of radial artery and I drew it confidently.
He was nodding his head and I was proud. At least my fate was better than Shailaja’s and Shivakumar’s.
“I would like to see you again”
“Excuse me sir” I looked at him. Is this guy going to fail me, so he can see me 6 months later.
“Do you have a boy friend?”
“No” I shook my head, all the while trying to figure out what this man is talking about.
“I will be coming to Bangalore for a conference next month. I would like to see you then”
I looked at the man who was standing in front of me. No doubt he is handsome. But he is twice my age!. What am I going to do? Do I tell him that I don’t want to see him and let him have the satisfaction of making me rewrite the paper again or agree to see him?
“Sure sir” I nodded my head. I knew I will have to find some way to escape. I will cross that bridge then!.
“I will call you when I am in town”
“Sure sir”
“Ok, you can go to the next table”
I learned my first lesson that day. Never ever tell your real name to the external examiner.

Dr. Rajesh was in the third cubicle with the external examiner. I was to identify all the bones. I was way too upset after the surface marking practicals. May be it was the thought that, this was the last practicals of the day, or may be because I did the first 2 well, I just couldn’t concentrate. I was given a metacarpal bone and was asked to identify. I just couldn’t and I saw the mean look on Dr. Rajesh’s face. He is going to fail me. I could see it in his eyes.
“You can leave” Spoke Dr. Rajesh and I knew I would have to go through the whole thing once again in 6 months time. I had enough. I just couldn’t care any more.

I packed my bag and took an auto to go to the railway station. When the train reached Kottayam station, I hoped Amma would come to the station to pick me up. I looked around for her in the platform. She didn’t come. I don;t know why I always think that my mother would do anything for me?
I took an auto to my home. I paid the auto driver and got out. The gate was locked and there was nobody home. I stood outside the door trying to see, what I should do next? Do I wait here for Amma to come back or go to my sister’s school and fetch them? I was tired. I didn’t want to lug my bag and go to my sister’s school. I heard someone opening Akashavani’s gate and I turned to look.
Kapalanga (Sujith) was standing there
“Hai Sujith. Thank you very much for sending the telegram”
“You are welcome Nina”
“How are you?” I asked him
“I have Good News. I am getting a visa to go to Gulf”
“Really?” For a moment, I felt a tinge of sadness. Sujith, his mother, aunty Reena and her mother, they are all part of what I call my home. Although I am the first one to leave all of them by going to Bangalore to study, I knew each time I came home I could see all of them. I couldn’t imagine not seeing Sujith when I am home.
“I will miss you” I spoke sadly
“My mother is asking me to get married”
“You? Getting married? You don’t even have a proper meesha(moustache)”
“Who said I don’t have a proper meesha(moustache)? What is this?” He pointed to the thin line of moustache on his upper lips.
“One second. Do you have my house key? Liza has a magnifying glass. I will go get it and check your meesha”
Sujith looked a bit upset. I thought, Men and their Moustache!
“Aiyyah. I was just teasing you. You have a very nice meesha (moustache).”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously!” I nodded my head
“Sujith Who is that?” I heard someone calling out from their kitchen
“Aiyyoo. Amma“ Sujith Whispered
“Amma, it is Nina, she came to get their house key” Sujith walked back to his house quickly.
Akashavani came out of the house, wiping her hand on the end of her saree pallu.
“Hello Aunty“
“Hello” she didn’t sound too happy.
Sujith came out with the key
“Give me the key. I will give it to Nina” Akashavani spoke
I watched Sujith handing the keys to his mother like a little kitten. I thought of telling him, no point having a meesha(moustache). As long as you let your mother bully you like this, there is no point you being a male.
I took the keys from Akashavani’s hand and mumbled a small thanks. Why does she even think that I would snatch her precious son away? What harm is there in Sujith giving me the key? That our hands touch? I couldn’t understand her logic.
I opened the gate and walked inside my home. Nothing has changed. AS usual Amma’s garden was full of flowers. She had a few pots of orchids too this time. I opened the door and entered my home. I walked to my room. The house was spic and span. Everything in the right place. But I knew something was missing. I couldn’t figure out what was missing. I walked to my sisters room and I knew in an instant what has happened.

Update: I write my blog after I send my kids to school(9Am)and I have to finish the blog before 12 noon, so I can fetch the youngest from her Pre-school.
In between writing the blog, I have to cook lunch as well!
Because I have so little time to do everything, I never get a chance to read what I typed and correct the spelling and grammar mistakes.
So my dear readers, not enough that my English sucks, now you have to bear with horribly horrible spelling and equally horrible grammar!
Please forgive me.