“Amma, did you manage to get Maria’s address?” I asked her
“No”
“Did you ask for the address?”
“No”
“Why not? How can you not want to know where your daughter is staying?”
“What is your problem Nina? If she doesn’t want me, then why should I look for her?”
“For heaven’s sake Amma, Maria is your daughter”
“Then she should act like one”
I don’t know what got in to my mother. All of a sudden she is not bothered about Maria, while I was worried what ‘that man’ is up to. There was no way I could get Amma to help my sister. Maria stopped existing in my mother’s world.
Then it occured to me, perhaps if I do medicine in Bangalore, I will be closer to Maria. I can have an eye on her. My plan was simple, I will hand in empty sheets for all the entrance exams except the exams for the colleges in Bangalore. I knew it could backfire as all my hope is in one single entrance exam. But I didn’t want to stay in Kerala or Vellore for 5 years, when my sister is alone in Bangalore.

The first exam was the common entrance exam. Amma asked me in the morning
“Nina do you want me to come with you?”
“No Amma, I am fine” I didn’t want Amma to see what I am planning to do.

When I reached the exam hall, as usual everyone was busy revising. I leaned on the wall and watched eveyone around me. One girl was crying saying she forgot to revise chapter 20 in her guide book, another one was running around finding the answer for some question that is for sure to come this year’s exam. When the bell rang, I walked inside confidentally and found my seat. I looked around me. My eyes met another set from across the room., He was staring at me and when our eyes met, he smiled.
‘How does he know me?’ I wondered. I wasn’t sure and I looked down. When the bell rang again, the invigilator opened the envelope and started to pass the question paper. When the invigilator handed the question to the the girl who was sitting infront of me, I watched her placing it on her desk, holding her hands together and praying. She then proceded to draw a cross on her question paper. I was not at all worried or stressed. The guy on the right corner was turning around and looking at me every few minutes and even the invigilator noticed it. I didn’t want to get in to any trouble, so I opened the question paper and read the questions. I knew the answers to most of the questions. I wondered if I am being stupid to purposely fail. But Maria only had me and I wanted to make sure, I will be there for her.
When the bell rang, I handed my answer sheets. I walked outside. I had to wait another hour for the second half of the exam.
“Hey,do you remember me?”
I turned and looked at the guy who was smiling at me earlier.
I shook my head
“You were my queen”
“huh?” I was getting annoyed with him, because I knew he was lying. I was never his queen. I started to walk away from him
“Nina, I am serious”
‘Oh no, he knows my name’ . I started to get worried
He walked closer to me and spoke” Remember 6 years ago, sunday school annual day, we had a drama about Queen Esther. You were queen Esther. Remember who was the king?”
“Oh my goodness, you are John Daniel. You look so different now. When did you come back from Gulf?”
“I came back 4 years ago, I am doing degree at SB college. My parents and my brother Jacob are still living in Dubai. I stay with my grand parents.”
“Aha! so you must be enjoying life”
“Enjoying? You must be kidding. If I am 5 minutes late from college, My grandmother will call my parents and tell them that, she can’t take care of me, because I am being too irresponsible! I am not even allowed to go out and watch a movie with my friends!”
“hmm” I nodded my head
“So tell me, how are all our friends at the church? What is Jacob Chandy doing now?”
“No idea”
“You don’t go to church anymore?”
“nah, I haven’t been to the church for so long”
“You are lucky. I have to go to church every sunday with my grand parents!.”
“pavam(poor you!)” I replied
“So how did you do the exam this morning?”
“half and half” I lied “How did you do?”
“I didn’t do well, but I am not worried. If I don’t pass this year, my dad is planning to pay donation and get admission for me at Ramaiah college Bangalore”
“You are going to Bangalore? So am I” I was so happy to knowing that atleast I will have someone I know in Bangalore
“Really?”
“hmmm” I nodded.
“Give me your address, so we can keep in touch”
“Ok” I gave him Amma’s address thinking that, Amma won’t be mad, if John did write, because I gave her address instead of the home address. Anyway I had nothing to hide. Amma knows John’s parents.

I had completely forgotten about John, till 2 weeks later Amma came home and called me
“Nina” She yelled
I was in my room reading a mills and boons novel and I wondered why is she yelling? My sisters must have left the light on in the living room. I should have checked to make sure the light was off before Amma came home. When you read Mills and Boon, you don’t want to get up half way through and now I am going to pay for my laziness
As I reached the living room, I noticed that the light was off.
“What is it Amma?”
“Who is John?”
I tried to remember, but I couldn’t.
“I don’t know Amma” I shook my head
“You don’t know? You liar? Then how did he get my office address?” I watched Amma opening her hand bag and taking a letter out. My head was still inside the mills and boon story and even then I didn’t realize, it was John Daniel’s letter
Amma walked to where I was standing and I least expected her to slap me. She held my hair and pushed me back on to the wall and started to scream
“You think I am an idiot? He is written, my dear queen, and you don’t know him? She was pounding on my body and slamming my body to the wall. I tried to explain, while trying to protect me from her blows
“Amma, Please stop hitting me. That is John Daniel. We acted in a sunday school drama together 6 years ago. I was queen Esther and he was the king. I met him when I went to write the entrance exam”
I thought when Amma heard the truth, she would apologize, Instead I watched her tearing the letter and throwing it infront of me and said
“nee pezha aadi” ( you are a slut)