good genes/bad genes

Maria was leaving for Bangalore on saturday, so she could start work on monday. I wanted to tell my oldest sister so badly that, one unique Binny silk saree doesn’t equate to unconditional love. But there was no way, I could convince my super intelligent IIT graduate sister that nothing in life comes free. You just can’t show light to someone who chooses to be blind.
I watched Maria packing her suitcase excitedly. Liza was helping her to fold the saree and Sally placed the matching blouse inside each saree
“Maria will you buy me a new school bag, when you get your first salary?” Liza asked
“Ofcourse! I will buy both of you a new school bag” I heard the ‘both of you’, not all three of you. It didn’t matter any more. I can carry my books in my hand. I don’t need a school bag. I saw Liza looking at me like a winner. I knew what that look meant
‘See Nina, Maria is going to buy me a new school bag, you are not going to get one’. I quickly walked away.
Amma was in the kitchen making pickles and chutneys for Maria to take. She was scraping the skin from the ginger.
“Do you want me to help you Amma?” I asked her
“Sure, can you slice the ginger in to tiny slivers?”
“Ofcourse” I took the ginger from her hand. I took the knife and cutting board and went to the dining table. It was easier to sit there and slice the ginger. I scrapped the skin neatly from the ginger and cut the ginger in to fine slices first and then cut each slice in to tiny slivers. I made sure each sliver was the same the thickness.
“where is th Sandal wood freshners Acha bought for me? Who took it?” I heard Maria yelling.” Amma did you see it? I left it in the suitcase this morning” Maria came to the kitchen to ask Amma. I continued to slice the ginger
“It must be in the suitcase Maria. Go and look properly” Amma told her
“I checked already. It isn’t there”
“I have blind daughters. My daugters just can’t use their eyes. I will find it for you” I could hear Amma washing her hand and murmering. I wanted to tell her, she was right about her daughters being blind. They must have inheritted the blindness from their mother. I kept quiet and continued to slice the ginger. I could hear Amma, Maria, Liza and Sally checking for one small clothes freshner.
“Nina, did you take it?” Amma asked
“No”
“She is lying Amma. She must have taken it, because I know for sure I kept it inside the suitcase this morning.”
“I didn’t take it”. I said with a straight face. I was impressed with my performance. I am beginning to be good at lying.
“I know you took it and I will find it”
“Go ahead” I told my sister
I watched my mother and my sisters going through every nook and corner of the house in search of the cherished pink satin covered sandal wood clothes freshner. I continued to slice the ginger in to fine slivers.
“Where did you hide it Nina? Tell me the truth” Maria was screaming at me
“I told you I didn’t take it” I replied
Amma was looking at me and I spoke to her
“Amma, all of you searched everywhere. you didn’t find it. It is obvious,Maria must have misplaced it somewhere and now I am blamed, like all the times anything goes wrong in this house”
“Is this how you cut ginger in to fine slivers? How could you cut them like this?” Amma took one long ginger sliver and was waving it like a sword
“You told me you want it in slivers” I wasn’t going to give up
“Yes I did, but you should have used the thing called brain in your head and figured out that, you need short slivers for injipuli( ginger pickle/curry)”
“Amma, you never told me, what curry you were making. How am I supposed to know, you were making injipuli?
“I shouldn’t have asked you for help. You are good for nothing. How could I give birth to a bodoh(stupid)?” Amma snatched the cutting board from my hand and marched to the kitchen. I still had the knife in my hand. For a fleeting second, I thought of going after her and whacking her with the knife. But then I remembered my father.
‘My goodness, I am thinking like Appa! there is absolutely no difference between me and my father’. My hands were shivering and I quickly dropped the knife on the table, I didn’t even want to hold the wretched knife in my hand. I didn’t want to be like my father. But somewhere deep in my mind there was a little voice that said
jathyagunam thoothal poovulla'( you can’t rinse your bad genes off).

16 thoughts on “good genes/bad genes

  1. What your Amma said was right,she had three blind daughters plus her minus you
    I wonder sometimes how you kept sane.Everything is too much to take.
    you have a very strong mind.Bless you

  2. did your mother not scold you or even ask where you were for one day? vazhakkonnum kittiyille ‘olichodiyathinum’ chengannur poyathinum?

  3. Why was it Maria hated you so much, and was kind to your younger sisters?

    You just cant win with your mother. Wonder if she feels bad now for what she did before.

  4. Thanu: Nina was always strong.. she was scared of hurting anyone..

    Madhavankutty: jeevanum kondu odikko

    Shankari: I know…

    Sujit: true

    Visithra: It was scary..to have thought that way

    Maya: Sanity was never a choice at home.. I wanted to survive. i couldn’t let Mathran Thambi down!

    Techno: I visited Ammachi every thursday without fail!

    Techno: he did.. 2 days before I joined the med college

    Sreeja: I was only away during the college hours. So she never knew..never doubted… College too didn’t have any problems(I signed all the leave letters on my mother’s behalf!)

    Sumana: RK Narayan and Malgudi days…I read all his books

    Chandu: ofcourse..( methran thambi nte kochu mol alley.. malayalam melley melley varum!)

    justme: Well, if you look at it, Maria went to school in the morning, she came back in the evening to find a new baby, and my parents fuzzing over the baby..up until then, she was the undisputed queen.. My wonderful parents, never thought of telling her, that there is going to be a baby( they had 9 months to do that!)..I resemble my dad and he was very proud of tht. Besides I am fairer than her.. so I guess everything added up..

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