I was waiting for saturday, so I can wear my brand new skirt Appa got for me. I was so excited. I looked at the clock, it was only 3pm. Just when you want, the time go slower than usual. I couldn’t wait anymore. I took all the 7 skirts out of the cupboard. Which one should I wear today? I thought of the colours of the rainbow. Maria took my violet colour skirt. What colour is indigo? I wasn’t sure. I had 2 blue skirts. One light blue and the other navy blue. I decided to wear my light blue skirt. I wore my petticoat and my skirt. Only then I realized I don’t have a matching blouse. Aiyya Now what am I going to do? I really wanted to wear my new skirts. I looked inside the cupboard. Maria has a white blouse. I picked up the blouse and went to look for Maria. She was in her room reading Mills and Boons novel.
“Maria, can I borrow this white blouse?” Maria got up from the bed and snatched the blouse from my hand.
“No way. Your sweat stink. I don’t want my blouse to stink”
“You are lying Maria. My sweat doesn’t stink”
“Oh Really? Kochumaharani thinks her sweat smells like sandal wood paste? Joke of the century!” Maria was laughing at me
“I am going to tell Amma”
“Go ahead”. Maria put the blouse under her pillow and went back to read. I wanted to teach her a lesson. I knew Amma would side me. She always says’if you children won’t share, then who will share with you?’
Amma and Appa were sitting on the veranda. They were comparing their new spectacles. Both of them bought identical blue colour metal frame, because there was a discount.
“Why Lord, what is happening here? kanavan (husband) and kanavathy(wife) wearing matching matching stuff?” I asked to no one in particular.
“podi” (get lost) Appa was laughing.
I looked at Amma and told her
“Amma I don’t have a matching blouse to wear with the skirts Appa got, I asked Maria if she would let me wear her white blouse. She is not giving me Amma.”
“Nina, her white blouse is an expensive silk blouse. You will dirty it. Remember the last time you stained her pink skirt with banana sap? Why don’t you wear your yellow school uniform shirt?”
I couldn’t believe what I heard. I watched my father’s face, to see if he heard what his wife just spoke? Can’t he see how unfair his wife is? Can’t he support me? After all, my family’s motto is all about sisters sharing. He was still looking at his brand new spectacle and admiring its beauty, oblivious to the one sided discussion that I am having with his wife.
“It doesn’t match Amma”
“Never mind Nina, who is going to notice all that? You are just going for choir practice! It is not like they bgive you marks for what you wear.”
Amma turned and looked at my father
“She is only 12 years old, already bothered about matching clothes. You better earn more money to pay for all the clothes when she is big!.”
“Appa my school uniform shirt doesn’t match my skirt, every one will laugh at me.”
‘Oh please Appa, side me once in your life time, please see the unfairness in all these’ I begged to my father in my heart.
“Listen to your mother Nina. You should be grateful for what you have.”
“I am grateful. All I asked was if I can borrow Maria’s white top. You are the one who bought skirts without blouse”
“See, how she talks? I told you, she is so rude lately. I just can’t control her anymore” Amma spoke
I must have been so angry, because my reflexes were a bit slow. Before I could scoot, Appa got up and hit me hard on my thigh.
“Your mother is right. You are becoming too much. Not enough that I got so much of clothes for you. You are still full of complaints. I am not going to raise rude children in my family”
I didn’t say anything. I quickly walked to my room. Once I reached the safety of my room, I lifted my skirt to see the the five finger red marks on my thigh. I gently rubbed my thigh. It was hurting a lot. ‘My god, I hate my family.
“Why Nina, Appa was only here for a few days and you already managed to get chutta adi(beatings) from him”. Maria spoke. I watched my sisters standing near the door and laughing at me.
I didn’t respond. I quickly changed my blouse and wore the yellow shirt. I needed to get out of this mad house. I could still hear my sisters mocking at me an laughing. I am such a failure, I thought.

I didn’t want to see or speak to my parents. So I dashed out of the veranda while speaking “I am going to the church for choir practice”. My heart was pounding, because I was rushing to be out of my parents sight. I was just about to reach the the other side and I heard Appa calling me
“Nina, come here”.
I looked at the gate and contemplated, if I should still bolt and later claim that I didn’t hear him calling me or go back and face him. I heard him calling me again. I had no choice but to go back.
‘oh god, now what?; I wondered. My heart was beating faster and faster. Is he going to beat me again? What more did Amma tell him, so he can beat me some more? Did Amma tell him about me climbing up the fence? or did she tell him, that I always speak to Akashavani’s son?. If Amma didn’t instigate, Appa wouldn’t have beat me just now and I was sure she would be glad to do more, so I would get beaten up. How much I hate my mother!.’
I walked slowly to where my father was sitting. When I reached near him, I stood few feet away and looked at him and asked
“What?”
“Come closer” He ordered. I wasn’t so sure about obeying him. I still needed the space, so I can run to safety. I looked at Amma. She was staring at me. I wanted to ask her
‘Haven’t you had enough? You want your husband to hit me some more? What have I done to you for you to hate me so much? Don’t I make coffee for you each evening? Don’t I help you to do the laundry? Don’t I help you to fetch my sisters from their school?’. But I didn’t.
I slowly walked and stood right infront of my father. If he wants to hit, let him. I can’t keep living in fear like this.
“Did I hurt you?”
I didn’t respond. It doesn’t require a scientist to figure out that beating hurts.
Appa lifted my skirt to see the marks on my thigh. he massaged it gently. I didn’t feel anything. All I felt was hatred. I hated him, I hated my mother, I hated Maria.
“I have to go now. I am late” I pulled my skirt down and ran. I didn’t want to cry. But my tears didn’t listen to me. As I walked the road near the parade ground, tears were falling down my cheeks. I looked down and walked, so other passersby will not see me crying. I wanted to know ‘Of all the families in this world, why was I born in to this stupid family?’. I didn’t know the answer.

When I reached the church, all my friends were playing.
“Is that your new skirt Nina?” Anju asked me
“Hmm” I nodded.
“It is a pretty skirt, but why are you wearing your school uniform shirt?”
I looked around too see the same question in everyone’s face. Even Raji, who stays in the railway ‘cutting’ colony had proper blouse, while Nina Thomas, grand daughter of famous Methran Thambi was wearing her yellow school uniform shirt on a saturday.