It is the first time my youngest has stayed away from me for more than a week. (She is on a student exchange in Spain at the moment).
We talk often on FB and if I don’t reply to her quickly, she will text me and ask if I am not getting her messages?
I gave her a bank card that she could use in Spain. Every single purchase she makes, she would ask if it was ok? is she spending too much money? (As opposed to Yaya, who sent me one email on the day she arrived in Spain and then another one when she ran out of money and wanted me to send her more!). She even bought gifts for my elderly neighbors. (Which made me feel sad.. rightfully my mother should be enjoying my children’s love and generosity)
But more than anything I was really surprised when my youngest asked my advice about coping..
Apparently some of her friends had organized a trekking trip and she didn’t go because she had cramps and was too lazy to walk. It turned out that the people who went for the trekking had a really awesome time and the view from the top was breathtaking. This has resulted in my youngest feeling miserable.. regretting her decision not to go. She asked me, how do I deal with this mom?
So I told her, we make decisions based on certain facts and sometimes we realize we made the wrong choice. Life is all about learning from mistakes.. You can’t undo the decision and have to live with that little regret that will nag your conscience forever. But you can make sure that you won’t make the same mistake again. Then I told her, trust me when I tell you this, I have screwed up more times than you think one person could do. and I have learned to accept that I screwed up and hopefully will not repeat it..
She sounded relieved afterwards.