Middens

Midden is defined as mound or deposit containing shells, animal bones, and other refuse that indicates the site of a human settlement. It is the debris of the past and we all have our own middens, some we carry on our shoulders as a burden  and some we step on and stand proudly for having lived through it. Sometimes, we see the middens of others that stands as a sign of victory and tells you that you too can do the same as they did and succeed.

When I left for US, I had taken my books with me to study, thinking that I could certainly study an hour each day. My exams are in March and I have so much to study, yet each evening instead of studying I watched Fa la la on Disney. ( I found motels based on the availability of a microwave, fridge and Disney channel)

I spend the Christmas eve with my uncle and aunt whom I haven’t seen for 35 years. My aunt was writing her board examination to renew  her medical license and even on Christmas eve, she was studying. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to study. I found one excuse after another why I can’t study.

I met her the next day at another aunt’s house for the Christmas day party. She came to US 9 years ago on family migration. She studied pre degree in Kerala. It was her dream to do a degree. she worked in a factory, while learning English as a second language, did a lab tech course (while still working in the factory), then did a degree and is now employed by an Ivy League uni and is doing her PhD. She was also on the dean’s list.

I can’t study in the evening, for I am exhausted by the time I fed the kids and cleaned the kitchen. I don’t even watch the news on TV anymore. I can only study in the morning, so I set two alarms one at 3.45 AM and one at 4 AM. I struggle each morning trying to get up to study. Sometimes I curse myself for still wanting to study, when I have everything and achieved all that I set out to do. Then I think of her and tell myself, if she could do it, then there is no excuse I can give. So, I get up at 4 am to study, even on Sundays..Her midden is my midden.

 

4 thoughts on “Middens

  1. Or ‘Su casa me casa.’ First of all let me give you kudos on your constancy in blog writing. I know a lot of people (myself included) who lose interest and stop writing. There are many orphaned blogs out there, even on WordPress.

    You say that you’ve achieved everything you planned on but are still pushing yourself to this goal (in another’s midden). This shows your will and staying power. The blog posts are another indication.

    Wish you all the best in continuing to achieve your goals and for sharing your thoughts and life. You probably don’t realize it but there are a lot of people with similar sensibilities, memories, desires, and interests to your own.

    Onwards and upwards.

  2. Ente Sarah, you stirred up a hornet’s nest with your remarks on your US relatives. You have all the freedom to write about anything under the sun, be it your children, your parents or relatives or anybody for that matter. There is absolutely nothing wrong in pointing out what you feel, hospitality or obligation should not come in the way. It is your views. Go on.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *