I found a piece of paper, folded and crumpled in my handbag and I knew it would be something from one of my children. In this case because it was crumpled, I knew it will be from either of the younger ones. Yaya’s notes would be in an envelope that is folded neatly. It isn’t that they deliberately crumple the letter, my handbag is small and they don’t want me to see the letter when I get the car keys, I am supposed to find it when I am at work, for the letter is a surprise and so they try to hide it somewhere at the bottom of my tiny handbag.
This is what I found
I grew up in India and although my cultural upbringing was all about showing respect to teachers and elderly, I was never taught to say Thank you or please. I never once said Thank you to my mother for anything she did for me, for it was assumed that what she did for me was her duty and there was not any need to say Thank you for something someone did as part of their duty.
It was Beautiful Eyes who changed my perception. I remember going for a dinner date with him to the Blue Peacock restaurant in Bangalore. It was a big cultural shock to hear someone saying thank you to the waiter few times through the course of the meal. Thank you, when the waiter guides you to the table, thank you when he brings the menu, thank you when he gets you the drink etc etc. But the waiter was doing his job !
But I did learn to say thank you and I taught my children to say Thank you. It was fun taking Yaya to Bangalore when she was 3 years old. We were in Bangalore for only 2 days and in that two days, My mother tried her level best to teach Yaya, ‘you don’t have to say Thank you to the Auto driver’.
Although I taught my children to say thank you, there was another lesson I learned when I moved to Canada. It was saying Please. It was a humbling experience to tell my children “please eat your food” rather than “EAT YOUR FOOD” I felt like a queen without her scepter. The ‘please’ took away my authority, at least I felt that way. But over the course of time I realized that I don’t need to be the boss for my children to listen to me.
You learn so much when you become a parent !
As for the letter I received..It made me feel special, to know that my children appreciate the little things that I do for them. I am planning to make a pendant with with the bead.