Today is “day for Daniel“
Daniel Morcombe was 13 when he was abducted and murdered. Day for Daniel is to raise awareness of Child safety.
Today I want to write about boys and sexual abuse.
I actually never knew that boys too could be a victim of sexual abuse till I started working as a doctor. It was never mentioned during my studies. I think it was expected that so long as we never talked or were taught, it doesn’t exist.
The first victim I know is someone very close to me. During the mid 70’s cargo shorts ( I think in Malayalam it was called valli kachatta) were popular and he used to wear them. He was molested by the bus conductor each morning on his way to school. Loose cargo shorts made it easy to shove the hand up the shorts and fondle the child’s private parts. The conductor also handed out cadbury’s. He never knew what was going on and feel guilty even to this day for eating the cadbury’s. No amount of counselling has helped him.
As a mother I didn’t want to live hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that nothing would happen to my children.
I didn’t want my daughters to be the 1in 4 and my son to be the 1 in 6 of girls and boys who get sexually abused before they turn 18.
I also know often the perpetrators are the ones you know. ( friends, cousins, uncles etc)
It is my job to protect my children and the only way I could do so is if I don’t live in denial.
The first thing I did was to teach them the names of their body part. Vagina and Penis instead of ding dong and itchichi.
Then I taught them what is private. Any area covered by the swim suit is private and no one gets to touch it.
I taught them to say “NO” if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable.
I taught them to ” Yell and Run” if they find themselves in situation that are not comfortable.
I taught them to come to me and tell me anything even if someone threatens them that they would kill me if my kids told me something.
I allow them to have as many sleepovers as they like in my house, so I don’t have to send my children to other people’s house. ( It isn’t that I don’t allow my children to have sleepovers at their friend’s place, I do. But only after I have known the family for a while!)
I do not let my son join the scouts. ( Yes I know I am being unfair and there are good people just as there are bad people) Instead I taught my kids survival skills.
After the age of 7 when my son could no longer use the female change room, I cheated and got him to use the disabled change room. I didn’t have a male partner who could take my child to the men’s change room. I accepted the dirty stares from able bodied people who didn’t like me letting my son use the disabled washroom. It isn’t my fault that there are no other option for single mothers.
I am not trying to raise my kids in a bubble..but I do try very hard to make sure that they are safe. it isn’t always easy. But If I don’t protect my children from predators, then who will?
Protect your children from sexual abuse
Daniel Morcombe was 13 when he was abducted and murdered. Day for Daniel is to raise awareness of Child safety.
Today I want to write about boys and sexual abuse.
I actually never knew that boys too could be a victim of sexual abuse till I started working as a doctor. It was never mentioned during my studies. I think it was expected that so long as we never talked or were taught, it doesn’t exist.
The first victim I know is someone very close to me. During the mid 70’s cargo shorts ( I think in Malayalam it was called valli kachatta) were popular and he used to wear them. He was molested by the bus conductor each morning on his way to school. Loose cargo shorts made it easy to shove the hand up the shorts and fondle the child’s private parts. The conductor also handed out cadbury’s. He never knew what was going on and feel guilty even to this day for eating the cadbury’s. No amount of counselling has helped him.
As a mother I didn’t want to live hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that nothing would happen to my children.
I didn’t want my daughters to be the 1in 4 and my son to be the 1 in 6 of girls and boys who get sexually abused before they turn 18.
I also know often the perpetrators are the ones you know. ( friends, cousins, uncles etc)
It is my job to protect my children and the only way I could do so is if I don’t live in denial.
The first thing I did was to teach them the names of their body part. Vagina and Penis instead of ding dong and itchichi.
Then I taught them what is private. Any area covered by the swim suit is private and no one gets to touch it.
I taught them to say “NO” if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable.
I taught them to ” Yell and Run” if they find themselves in situation that are not comfortable.
I taught them to come to me and tell me anything even if someone threatens them that they would kill me if my kids told me something.
I allow them to have as many sleepovers as they like in my house, so I don’t have to send my children to other people’s house. ( It isn’t that I don’t allow my children to have sleepovers at their friend’s place, I do. But only after I have known the family for a while!)
I do not let my son join the scouts. ( Yes I know I am being unfair and there are good people just as there are bad people) Instead I taught my kids survival skills.
After the age of 7 when my son could no longer use the female change room, I cheated and got him to use the disabled change room. I didn’t have a male partner who could take my child to the men’s change room. I accepted the dirty stares from able bodied people who didn’t like me letting my son use the disabled washroom. It isn’t my fault that there are no other option for single mothers.
I am not trying to raise my kids in a bubble..but I do try very hard to make sure that they are safe. it isn’t always easy. But If I don’t protect my children from predators, then who will?
Protect your children from sexual abuse