Monthly Archives: December 2011

What a beautiful day..

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It was supposed to be a hail and rain day..but it wasn’t.
Last night kids and I had an awesome Christmas eve dinner.

Santa gave the Yaya a Samsung Galaxy phone..( selfish reason. She never switches on her phone, She is not supposed to use the phone during school hours and is lazy to switch it on after the school is over. I want to be able to call her. Yaya can’t read without listening to music and I am hoping she will use the phone as her MP3 player and will  switch it on to listen to music.

My son got a proper RC helicopter. When we were in Canada, my son always asked for an RC helicopter and 4 years ago, I bought one as a Christmas present. It was a cheap one ( I was broke). He took it outside to play with it and Yaya asked if she could have a go and he let her..My son and I , we watched the helicopter hovering for a few seconds and then baaam.. she let go the remote..Helicopter didn’t withstand the power of gravity..We shed many bitter tears over the broken helicopter..and I have been wanting to buy him a good one.

Baby got a video camera.. She loves making movies ..( I am hoping that I can appoint her as the family photographer..I hate taking pictures and videos)

They also got a Christmas Ornament from me. Each Christmas I buy them a Christmas ornament, so when they leave my home, they can take their share of ornaments. They also got the usual books, clothes and toys from me.

I got a foot spa from my kids as my Christmas gift. ( and 4 free pedicure vouchers from Yaya, 4 free foot massage from my son and 2 special pedicure and 2 special foot massage vouchers from my baby.. special because she has adding extra love and made the vouchers all sparkly and shiny)

This morning we had appam and stew. Then we played blackjack..

In the afternoon, kids asked if we could go for a long drive.. and we did.
We went for off roading..
We found lots of kangaroos ( not wallabies)
There was no other vehicles on the road…
( I did cry, after we reached back home..my car is covered in thick red dust and I have to wash it off tomorrow)
All in all.. a wonderful Christmas..

Circle of life..

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I am laying down in my bed to type this post. I made the Christmas pudding, salad, spring rolls etc.. All I have left to do is to cook the chook and the saddle back potatoes.
Years ago, my youngest sister and I were very close. My room was at the end of the house and  I always lay down and read. My youngest sister is 7 years younger to me and she loved playing “sneaking up to touch the toes”.. She would crawl on the floor, sneak up to the foot of my bed to touch my toes. She gets a point if she managed to touch my toes without me noticing her. Everyone knows that I am (partially) deaf.. so I shouldn’t be able to hear my sister trying to sneak up on me.. But I did.. most of the time..
Right now, my youngest child is doing the same. I never told her about her aunt playing the same game.
She has barricaded me with pillows, just so I won’t see her crawling..but I can hear..and I tap on the bed..when she reaches near the foot..
Life is a circle eh??
Tonite we are having roast chicken. ( chook is being marinated and later I will be stuffing it with minced meat),  home made  potato salad. saddle back potatoes, spinach and cranberry salad, spring rolls, devilled eggs, Christmas pudding, cake, and cherry and pistachio macaroons
I think I have had way too much wine..
Merry Christmas everyone..

Help. Violin music sheets

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I thought I had all the Christmas gifts sorted..My younger one has written a new list to Santa half an hour ago…. She wants “Violin rap music sheets”..She is tired of playing classical music and wants to play rap music and could Santa please give her some new music sheets..( rap songs preferred). Does anyone know where I can find something online?
Thanks

Entey Vanchi .. ( my boat)

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I received a mail from a friend I have known for years.,,
One single sentence caught my attention.. “Do whatever floats your boat”
And I have been thinking about that one sentence for a very long time.
What floats my boat??
It is very complicated and I am trying my best to answer that question here.
I don’t know if I ever wrote about my mother’s fear of giving me anything from her home. Be it her love or the items from my childhood. She gave everything to my sisters ( and they lost it all over the years..every single thing)..In her quest for fairness, Amma has even taken things from me to give to my sisters.
I really wanted to keep Amma’s recipe book..It was a 250 page note book. Amma had beautiful script.. she used to practice writing on mirror..apparently that gives you a  better handwriting..( from the time I was little..I knew I would be a doctor..my handwriting is atrocious!!)
The book was very old and Amma had got someone to bind it with thick white thread and you can see the thread knotted from the outside.
In it there was a recipe for 1234 cake and I followed that recipe to bake the cake..every time…I made the biggest mistake of asking Amma, if I could keep her recipe book..( this was when I was doing medicine and we were living in Bangalore.) The book was given to Chechy the very next time she came for a visit..The unfairness in all this is..my sister doesn’t cook, wouldn’t cook and the recipe book was of no use to her.. of course my sister lost it in the course of time..just as she lost every little thing she took from our home..
I stole my grandfather’s cross from Amma. ( it is a very tiny cross and is bend because my grandfather had this habit of nibbling the cross when he was bored, because it was bend, no one was wearing it and no one noticed it was missing). That is the only thing that I have from my home..( I had also stolen Amma’s achappam achu, which she took it back few years ago)
I have no photographs, nothing..from my childhood..from my home..Even a photograph of my parents..I remember when they took the photo..I was in 8th std. Rarely a visit from my father could be considered peaceful.That year perhaps the planets were in perfect alignment. Appa and Amma went to Chithra studio to take a photograph..black and white photo..My mother is not photogenic..and in that photo..she had a nice smile..Apart from their wedding photos, that was the only photo of them together. Amma gave that to my sister younger to me. I begged my sister to lend me the photo for a day, so I could take it to the studio to get another copy..She wouldn’t give me..I never understood how is that one can even have proprietary rights to the photo of parents..
I have this fear of owning something that belongs to someone..because they might come and ask it back..
I also hate recycled gifts for the same reason..It belonged to someone and someone took it to give it to me..
I know I was talking about what floats my boat..
This is what floats my boat..
Things that no one can take from me..that floats my boat..
My memories..
My children.. ( I don’t own them..but no one, not one person can take them away from me. Actually, Amma and my sisters tried it once.. they came to my house in KL..well planned trip..My youngest sister rang the calling bell..I have a security door outside the main door and only my sister was standing outside..and I opened the door for her..the rest were hiding by the side of the gate..They demanded visitation rights to my children..According to my oldest sister, Amma as a grandmother and she as an aunt has rights..This is the same aunty who didn’t open her door when my children went to wish her merry christmas..Yaya was holding on to me and my mother was pulling Yaya from me and telling Yaya to follow Ammachi and Ammachi will raise her better than yaya’s mother..I called the cops..That was the last time I saw my mother and sisters together..and why I ran with my kids to Canada)

Mine alone

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I had friends over for dinner last night. Normally I don’t do Chinese food when I have friends over..cause the food needs to be served right after you cook and it is next to impossible to do that when you have lots of people..
I didn’t want to have any leftovers as I am leaving soon..So I opted for Chinese.
We started the evening with boiled salted peanuts..and beer..
For main meal
I cooked Chicken stir fry with cashew and chillies.
clay pot fish ( there was a time I used to spend hours coating the fish and deep frying them..now I use ready made beer batter fish bites!!)
Kangkong in oyster sauce
and Szechuan tofu..( Kung pau)
After dinner, my kids wanted to play cards.. ( the usual rat a tat cat and UNO)
I am not sure who suggested that we play serious card game..
I don’t know to play any card games ( as in poker or blackjack etc, Hey I grew up in a socially isolated family)
My friends didn’t want me to spend another day on earth without knowing how to play blackjack.
It was decided that we are going to use fruit loops as chips and assigned a value for each colour of the fruit loop. Purple ones were worth 1000, green ones 500 and yellow 100 and red 10..
Eventually people started to eat their money..
I must have had beginners luck.. I won 6300 fruit loops..
It was a great evening..As such I am doing my darnedest to keep myself busy.. so busy that I have no time to think, so I can keep the pain away….but the pain is omnipresent.. It is there with every breath I take..
I wish I could just beat myself up and shed bitter tears..

Spite..

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I am not really a spiteful person..Usually I just walk away from people..
But this time I am not so sure..
My ex boss..
He was supposed to have worked with me on a project with another friend overseas. At the very last minute, my ex boss decided he is not interested in the project, leaving me to explain his absence to all the people working for the project. It was not easy.
And guess what? I have been getting phone calls, txts and emails from him the last few days. His last txt said that he is worried about me and could I please call him ASAP..
Why the interest all of a sudden?
Of course he must have heard about my new project..
I am thankful for caller ID..

Sabah ( the land below the wind)

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All for the want of a new TV..
If it wasn’t for a new TV, I would have been in KK right now.. My current TV is older than Yaya and though it has a set up box to convert the digital signal to analog, (or is it the other way around?) I don’t get half the channels..
All I want to watch is mentalist and at the moment all I get is ‘unsupport video’, whatever that means!!
So I thought I would stick around till boxing day and see if I can get a good bargain.. ( pishukki.. I know). I also didn’t want to cart my children’s Christmas gifts to KK..Younger two still believe in Santa and it was really not possible to hide Santa’s gifts in my backpack.
Since I can’t be in Sabah right now, I thought I will go on a mental trip..
The last time I went back to Sabah was when Yaya was about 8 months old. I don’t remember why I took Yaya to Sabah ( must have been running away from something!). But I do remember the trip. I was flying MAS. The cabin crew fell in love with Yaya and upgraded us to first class. Pairin Kitingan was also travelling in the first class and he was very impressed with Yaya ( she was already talking ) and played with her till the flight landed.

I love to take my children to all the places I have been to..there is a story in everything.

Like Tanjung Aru beach.. I used to go to the beach most evening..buy jagung ( boiled corn) and watch the sunset while eating jagung. Sometimes I used to take S ( my neighbour’s daughter) for company. She was about 3 years old and she loved eating jagung. Some times S and I ate dinner at one of the restaurants near the beach..and one day she took the chop stick and tried to eat noodles with it..It was such a delight to watch her trying to hold the chop stick.. I will be meeting S this time..and she can’t wait to see my kids..

Then there is this restaurant in Donggonggon. The owner was a Sino Kadazan and only opened the restaurant for breakfast. I always had Kway teow and teh special ( only for me..extra condensed milk) Kway teow there is unusual because it is pre cooked and served cold, but yummy….
Right behind the restaurant is the Kasigui suspension bridge ( over Moyog river). I am terrified of heights and never had the guts to walk on that bridge. I want to do it this time..

Then of course visit the Donggonggon tamu (Village market..)
Unlike the pasar malam (night market) in west Malaysia, the tamu is more fun..Villagers from nearby villages comes to the tamu to sell and buy stuff, meet their friends and relatives to talk and drink tapai ( rice wine).. the tamu last for days.. Again to start all over the next Thursday..
I want to buy a moram.muram.. ari pettunna muram.. ( don’t know what to call that in english).. Sabahans are very much like Malayalees.. They grow rice and they make/weave muram to winnow the grains ..only difference unlike the typical malayalee muram, Kadazan muram is perfectly round..
I know I have to face the quarantine officer at Brisbane airport..Even if it is going to costs me an arm and a leg.. I am buying a muram.
I want to take my children to Signal hill ( it was the only place in Sabah where the sign post also had Tamil translation) and watch the city lights.
Visit Tambunan.. In those days, there used to be a sign board after the Gunung Emas restaurant that showed the elevation in meters and feet. ( I can’t remember the number anymore and it bothers me.. So I want to go there and remember it again.)

I want to do the Ranau, Kundasang and Mount Kinabalu road trip..( I am not climbing Mt Kinabalu.. I can’t. I am totally unfit..I am yet to find a way to weasel out).. I used to buy this vege called “Sabah vege”..it was only available in Kundasang..It is not Sayur Manis..and I don’t know what it is.. I am going to find out this time.

I want to Visit Jimmy.. he saved my life once and I think it is only right that I visit him and introduce my kids to him. ( and drink tapai..His wife makes the best tapai)

Visit Hannah’s grave.. ( I hope I can find it)

Visit Kudat, Kota belud and Kota Marudu..There used to be a Tamu Besar in Kota belud with the Bajau horse men all dressed up in their finery.. I hope it is still there..( Bajau’s were called cow boys of the east for the same reason).
I hope my Sunday Morning favourite place..the dosai shop..is still there..The shop is next to a lotto center..Sunday morning breakfast involved buying 4D as well..My biggest win was RM 3000..

I want to travel to Kinabatangan.. ( India’s Larson and Tuobro was involved in the bridge construction or design.. can’t remember which.. It is a beautiful bridge..)..
Batu Tulug is another place I want to take my kids to.. apart from the usual wildlife watching in the Kinabatangan river..
( digressing a bit here.. When I was in the 9 th or 10th std, I watched this native American movie on doordarshan..it was a very long movie..all I remember is the way the people bury their dead..they leave the dead body on top of a tree..In the movie.. the old man wasn’t dead.. he was in coma..and they left his body on top of the tree!! if any of you remember the name of the movie..pls leave a comment). Yaya wants to adopt an Orang Utan..I told her she is one and why bother adopting one.. ( She gave me that death stare!)

I can’t wait to go back.. (home..it was always home..always will be)

O sathi re

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I remembered this song.. after such a long time..
I had a huge collection of hindi songs and when I was leaving India after completing my degree, Amma insisted that my cassette collection were family property and I can’t take them. I don’t know what happened to those tapes ( Knowing amma, she would have gifted them to Chechy..like she gave her my kettle, hair curler.. even the table cloth I used in the hostel)..
I don’t own any more tapes or cd’s because I don’t want someone else to come and claim ownership of things I cherish.. ( A friend of mine gave me an external hard drive loaded with songs as a birthday gift..that is the only collection I have now)
I haven’t listened to any of these songs for years..I know I can search for this song on youtube..but right now.. it is just part of my memory and I would like it to stay that way..
o saathi re tere bina bhi kya jina
oh companion, what is living without you?
phuulon men kaliyon men sapanon ki galiyon men
in flowers, in buds, in the streets of love,
tere binaa kuchh kahin na
without you there is nothing anywhere!
tere bina bhi kya jina
what is living without you?
o saathi re tere bina bhi kya jina
oh companion, what is living without you?
phuulon men kaliyon men sapanon ki galiyon men
in flowers, in buds, in the streets of love,
tere binaa kuchh kahin na
without you there is nothing anywhere!
tere bina bhi kya jina
what is living without you?

My boat

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I get lovely emails from a friend I know from Malaysia. There was one sentence that caught my attention..
Do whatever that floats your boat..
Yaya has gone for bush camping in a cattle station 2 hours from Sydney. She left last week and will be back only on 23rd.
I took the other two for off- roading today.
My son played games on my phone. Baby was busy reading..( off road..dirt tracks and she was still reading) and without Yaya, it kind of felt so boring and I thought about what floats my boat.
Reading??
2 years ago, when Chechy was here, I had bought some books when I went out and was laying down in my Day bed and was reading. My mother and my sister thinks that I am still the same idiot who only passed grade 7 because my mother begged my class teacher to give me extra marks..So it really was a big surprise to my oldest sister that I was reading a book..She even asked me, if I understood anything written in the book. ( Vayichittu ninakku vellathum manassilavunnundo??)Now, I have no issues with my sister’s line of thought. But what my sister didn’t understand then was..the book was the world I can disappear in to..that she and amma was in the same room..and I wasn’t there.. I was in some English castle reading about some English lord!!! But does reading float my boat?? No..reading helps me stay alive.
Driving..
I love driving..it is soothing to my soul..( except when I have to merge in to the highway and the dude in front of my decides to travel at 40 Km/h.) The cheapest way to travel with three kids is to drive.
Today, I fed them an early lunch, packed some chips, biscuits and water and off we went. The only expense was the fuel..I want my children to see every part of the world.. You learn so much from travelling.. ( today we met someone who was off roading on a Porsche Cayenne..My son asked me, if I owned a Cayenne, would I take it for off-roading and my answer was No.. I wouldn’t..A car that costs over AUD250K would stay safe in my garage.. and my son told me..”mom, if you were not going to use it for what it is designed for, then why bother buying it?”
You see, what you learn from your children..
But does driving float my boat? No, it just lets me unwind..explore and create memories.. So when I am an old woman wearing purple.. I shall remember these things.
Drinking.. I am not an alcoholic ( Yup I know every alcoholic says the same). Really, I am serious.. I am not an alcoholic..
I don’t drink in front of my children. ( I want to be a good role model!) I once had to drive my neighbour’s child to the hospital because both the father and mother drank wine that evening and the child fell off the trampoline and broke her hand. Injury not serious enough to call an ambulance and parents not fit enough to drive the child to hospital. I don’t want to be in that position. So when I do drink..it is always after my kids have gone to bed..

Nimitham

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Nimitham..I don’t think there is a correct word in English that can describe the word Nimitham..
However..what happened just a few minutes ago might be able to explain.
I talked about money and money it is going to be for me..
This news was supposed to have come few weeks ago.. perhaps it came this late, so no one gets to tell me that their presence in my life is the cause of my success!
Tesla is now a reality..no longer a dream..