I am extremely competitive, but not in the usual way most people are. I never cared about the grades/marks others got. I was known to hand in empty sheets for the class exams when I was a med student because I couldn’t be bothered to sit down and write few pages of theory to please the prof/lecturer. I really had no desire to show the prof/lecturer that I know something ( isn’t that the reason for the class tests? to find out how much you know!!) I wasn’t interested in impressing the prof/lecturer.
But Uni exams were a different kettle of fish altogether. My competitiveness was that I wanted to pass the Uni exams in the first attempt and that my marks for uni exams are in the highest range..

Yaya is almost like me. She doesn’t really care what grades others got, she does work hard and worries much when it comes to class tests. She only accepts A’s and if she ever got a B, all hell will break lose. she is very systematic and make sure all her projects are done on time and is done well.

My son had a project to hand in last Friday. He waited until Thursday late evening to do his project.( he had 10 days to do the project)
He had to write about an animal from great barrier reef, the teacher had given him a set of questions as a guideline. He either had to talk or make a diorama. At 9 pm on Thursday, he felt making a diorama will be better than doing a talk. He had chosen leather back turtle and I asked him where is he going to get all the stuff he would need to make the diorama?..that too at 9 pm?. He said he could make them. I was tempted to clobber him..But I took a deep breath and told him..Although I am a firm believer of nothing is impossible, right now unless he owns a magic wand it isn’t really possible to make a diorama of leather back turtle.
Long story short..he decided to do the talk. He wrote the talk in 15 minutes, printed it and kept it on my table for me to have a look and went to bed.
I had a look at his project.
I was tempted to drag him out of the bed and make him re do the whole thing. It was such a shoddy work. but then I thought, this was his project and he needs to learn to do it.
He got a B.
I know, if I had helped him, he would have got an A.Isn’t it the mother’s job to help her children achieve greater heights?
Did I fail my son?
I could have nagged him to do his work. I didn’t
I could have forced him to sit down and do his work. I didn’t
I could have printed out the info for him. I didn’t
I could have sat with him and asked him if he wanted to do the talk or make the diorama. I didn’t
I could have helped him make the diorama and buy the supplies.I didn’t
and now I feel bad/sad..

3 thoughts on “

  1. I don't know how you do it, but I really do admire you for it. I instinctively know what is right, add to that I read a lot about bring up kids the right way & now I KNOW for sure what to do…but I still do it wrong anyway! God help me and my kids.

  2. You make me think twice about how I coach my son.. but I wonder whether I can stand back and watch him learn by himself. I need the courage, confidence, etc…!

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