End of term report cards of my children arrived in the mail few days ago and that got me thinking. If I could have report card as a mom, how would I grade myself?
D for the messiest house. Ideally I would like to live in one of those picture perfect homes where everything is in the right place. I can no longer enter Yaya’s room because I am not sure what I will be stepping on. Before she left for Mexico, she tidied up her room ( mostly out of fear because I threatened to throw everything in the bin while she is away). But the thing was, I missed her messy room when she wasn’t home. All of a sudden her room looked like a sterile hospital room and I didn’t like it. I realized that I rather have a messy room with my child in it that a sterile room with no child in it. Her room is going to spick and span when she leaves home this time next year. So I made a conscious effort to not to go after her to tidy it up. My relatives too saw the state of her room and made plenty of observations. I am fine with that, because I know in 5 years, my house will be like one of those picture perfect home and I am not going to be excited.
D for not cooking breakfast and lunch during school holidays. I know I am the mom and it is my job to nurture and feed my children. But they are old enough to fix their own meals. Sometimes I see instant noodles covers in the bin and I feel terribly guilty. Often the youngest steps in and cooks for her siblings too. My son makes beef patties etc. Yaya Is difficult to break.. she is hoping to survive on air and water when she is at Uni.
D for calling names. Ok, I have to rephrase that. As I was called deaf and dumb and bling while growing up, I promised myself I wouldn’t call my children names. Last year, the local TV station had a program where the viewers had to call and tell them the one thing that someone in their life said to them that annoyed them the most and my son wanted to call in and report what I say when I am really annoyed with them.
I am known to say ” there is a movie called dumb and dumber, did you by any chance act in it?” Over the years, I just say “there is a movie” for which my children will fill in “Smart and the smarter or Prince and princess” etc. I have tried my level best to stop saying it, but there are times I just have to say it, like the time my son removed an important part from his school computer ( he was trying to create something with that), knowing very well that I, the mother will have to pay for the damages. I am not a perfect mom. I know I have my share of failings and this would top my list of failings.
A for hugs and I love you’s. I still give them a hug every day. I still them I love you every chance I get.
A for surprises in their school lunch bag. I often pack a treat, love notes, riddles or jokes in their lunch bag. And they do write the answer for the riddles and place it back in their lunch bag.
B for family games. Most evenings, I am exhausted. So sometimes I try to weasel out of family games nights.. I bought two new games this year. Australian version of trivial pursuit and Balderdash. Of all the games we own I like Balderdash the best. I like the way my children write. their descriptions are hilarious. For eg, the word was soushumber and my youngest wrote it is a genetically crossbred of sushi and cucumber that eventually takes over the world and make it in to cucumber city with sushi capital. ( Soushumber is a weed )
C for getting annoyed with small things. Sometimes I tend to miss the bigger picture and get annoyed with really trivial things.
B for allowing my children independence. I am ok with them going out with their friends for dinner or movies etc. But sometimes, I get annoyed when they spend every weekend with their friends.. It is not like I have infinite time with them..and it is only fair that they spend some of their time with me. They on the other hand do not agree with my views. They think they have spend enough time with me and now it is their turn to live their life.
All in all.. it is an OK report card..I guess I managed to pass to take the next year of mothering.