I am sure you must be wondering where I disappeared to.
I had a hysterectomy !
I normally avoid going to the clinic/hospital because the Dr’s always find something wrong with you and true enough after the scan to rule out CA of the Ovaries, they found that my non pregnant uterus is growing in size ( Adenomyosis). I could have happily survived a few more years without any problems not knowing that. Once I knew what was going on, every little thing became a reason “because of Adenomyosis”
My Dr advised me to get a Hystrectomy and I ignored her advice.
There were three reasons I refused surgery
1. Invasive procedure
2. I won’t get to carry another baby ever !
3. This is the stupidest reason of all..just in case my girls can’t carry a child, I would have liked to be a surrogate mom for their baby.
When I was told by my Gynae in 1996 that I would never be able to carry a baby to full term ( the lovely NHS doctors in UK did more damage than good with the D& C and gave me Asherman’s syndrome) I wished one of my sisters would offer to be a surrogate mother for me. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and the knowledge that I could never be one was devastating. Not once my sisters asked me if I needed help which was even more devastating.
My children and I were talking about medical ethics and the topic of surrogacy came up sometime ago and my youngest said ” we wouldn’t have to depend on strangers, the three of us can work it out among ourselves, if we ever need to find a surrogate”
Yup, I thought she meant, me, her and Yaya and was grinning when her brother blurted out “Three of us? I ain’t got any female parts” and she replied while rolling her beautiful eyes ” Not you Monkey, Yaya, me and your girl, duh”
It was a lesson learned.. that I worry too much. So reason number 3 was out.
At the age of 32, I refused to have any more children because of Down’s syndrome risk and at the age of 44,I really ought to be shot for thinking about having more babies. So reason number 2 was out too.
I hate the thought of going for an invasive procedure and all the things that can possibly go wrong. However, each month periods became more heavy, I became more crabby and my ever recurring dream of having washboard abs became distant as my tummy became floppy.
It reached a stage last month where I found myself literally on the floor, holding my tummy and crying out in pain and I had no choice but to make an apnt with my Gynae.
I wanted the surgery after my exams, at the same time use the most of my spring semester break, so I won’t miss out on my Uni. She only had the 25th free and reluctantly I agreed for the surgery. The key word here is reluctantly….
Rest of the drama tomorrow..